Hall of Fame? What kind of porn sites can I find in this category, PornDude?
While I only list the best porn sites on the home page; there are some sites that are worth mentioning, but haven't earned their spot on the red carpet just yet. I know that we all can't be the greatest or the king of porn like ThePornDude, and therefore, I have created this category on my porn list to motivate the motherfuckers that own these websites.
Congratulations, you fucking betas! You're on the right way to make an epic porn site. Currently, you'll still have to settle for the kind of desperate, leftover traffic that even spam bots ignore and the crumbles from my Hall of Fame, but keep up the good work and you'll be on the main site in no time! Do not waste your time trying to bribe me with dick pics or your welfare check thinking that money will make me change my mind. I may be the big boss of the adult industry, but don't expect me to sell out like I'm some gold digger! If you're a female webmaster, feel free to contact me and find out if a pair of cup D sized tits and wet pussy will make me weak!
Fuck, you could compare it to a humiliating cuck scene, where you're licking up the leftovers while the alpha gets the spotlight. You're not proud of it, but you're so desperate, you beg for more. Keep working, noobs!
Example:
eFukt ("One of you desperate horndogs fucking a thick street queen on a dog poop covered sidewalk in public, after he "seduced" the curvy titan with his "low-budget Casanova player skills". Even then, he's getting cockblocked by a hung stud slapping that ass like a boss! Just like this fucking unstoppable deadbeat loser, you rather complete the humiliation by jerking off your blue balls to make the embarrassment complete!")
PornDude, are these pornography sites worth checking out yet? I don't want to waste my time!
Hey, I know most of you keyboard warriors would fuck anything with a hole and have probably already downloaded the whole fucking Pornhub to your hard drive. Since you have nothing better to do, you're wondering what else is out there on the internet? I know, it may sound like a good idea to finally leave the house for once, but can you already imagine the horror of encountering a real female specimen in the flesh? Oh, noes! Better stay in the basement, where no strong-minded women can challenge your fantasy world! We don't want one of these "hardcore social media keyboard queens" to steal your virginity!
Link:
eFuktLook what happened to poor 24yo Andrew, when he celebrated his birthday in a strip club in Arkansas. His friends set up a "go-fund-me" page for the shy mofo to lose his virginity and barely made the necessary $20 to hire the local nightlife legend AKA pornstar "Jasmin" to get the job done, since pretty much everybody told them to "Go fuck himself" online, which he already does multiple times a day! Due to the lack of money for a condom or the stupidiness of horny Andrew, the mullet boy had no choice, but to go full bareback. Hey, you can't blame the obese dude, since this was probably his first encounter with the other sex, and his mommy probably never told him the story about the birds and the bees.
His "friends" called a reporter from the Clinton News Network (CNN) to document this epic event, and since Hillary lost the presidency, they have nothing better to do anyway. I mean, sure, you can report the daily "How to make a sandwich" adventures of that bitch in Bill Clinton's kitchen, but besides her supporting group of vegan eating feminists, who the fuck is going to be interested in that? The people chose for a pussy grabber, so let's give them what they want. PORNOGRAPHY!!!
The reporter interviews the "happy" looking couple, and Andrew says he's a bit nervous and sweaty. Maybe the boy is just excited since he's about to get his cherry popped, but I think it's more related to his McDonalds' addiction. Seriously, the fucker could be the poster boy for the latest Big Mac commercial. Jasmin is more interested in her chewing gum and couldn't care less about this bullshit. She's probably already thinking what kind of trashy online shopping spree she can go on with her hard-earned $20. Anyways, they both get naked on stage, and Andrew is getting his peepee sucked for the first time in his life. I feel like looking at a freak show and get more distracted by his man boobs that almost look bigger than Jasmin's silicone hooters.
After a few sucks, it's time for the big moment, since we don't want to spoil the best moment of his life with a premature cumshot. Jasmin plows her pussy on top of his cock and rides the fucker until he shoots his load all over her titties. The crowd goes wild, people start to cry, and applause roams through the strip club. We probably just witnessed the wildest circus act since a reality TV star became president!
Anyways, if you only settle for the best of the best like me, then stay the fuck away from this "garbage" for now. Don't say that I didn't warn you! While the content on these websites may be fappable, you may be bombarded with an overload of advertisement or a video player that streams sex movies slower than your grandma's 56K internet in the '90s. Do you enjoy fapping to a slideshow that stutters every 5 seconds? Do you love to close a popup window with every page refresh? Do you want to visit a website without decent working features making it look uglier than Kim Kardashian without makeup? Fuck no, right?
PornDude, what are these other porn lists that I see listed here?
Ah, I see that you noticed some of the cheap copycats that tried to clone my success. Well, you know the "dutch" saying "High trees catch a lot of wind"? While I do feel flattered, it's like every time ThePornDude farts; a cockroach shows up. You know how much these nasty insects love (my) shit, and that's the only thing they'll ever create too. Witness how much they lack in creativity and originality and be amazed how they excel in soulless Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V skills.
It's like you're browsing an inferior version of ThePornDude! Hell, even ChatGPT short-circuits when you ask it to copy my site, “ERROR: Insufficient processing power. Try again with a quantum computer.” How can you even feel proud of copying someone else's work? Are these small dick complex mofos jealous of my fame and the amount of pussy that I fuck on a daily basis? Goddamnit, it must be a damn Millennial thing, and their "everybody already wins a trophy for getting out of bed in the morning" mentality! Look at me, mommy! I copied ThePornDude! Please, reward me! She should fucking kick you in the nuts for the lazy leech that you are, damn parasites!
Hey, if you can visit the "real" thing and unless you wanna have a laugh, why the fuck would you torture yourself with these "PornDude" wannabes? It's like you're fucking "Lady Gaga" when you could be banging "Kylie Jenner". Why settle with a 0, if you're offered a 10 for free? Anyways, remember, fuckers! There's only one porn king, and nobody is going to steal my throne!
Example:
eFukt ("How ThePornDude deals with copycat motherfuckers trying to steal his bitches!")
