Skibbel

I’ve been around the block when it comes to live sex on the internet. I’ve done all the streaming and phone sex the world has to give. The shit I’ve seen you guys wouldn’t even know how to ask for. You pussies have no idea how many different things can come out of, or go into, a human body.

All of the live shit is a blast, but the hang-up is you have to be present the whole time. I can’t spend ducats watching a live stream while I have to keep an eye on the game or, god forbid, work. There’s no way to pop into a stream real quick while I have thirty seconds before I’m up in line at the bank. I would hate to have to spend that time present and at the moment.

Other people in line are playing angry birds or reading the news. Fuck angry birds, fuck current events. All I give two shits about is pussy and jerking off. Good thing for this bank teller she is sitting behind double pained glass.

But, hey, I’m not the only horny fuck around here that wants to squeeze filth into every crevice I can find to fit it. Some of us even have leftover brain cells to make a website that caters to tireless horn dogs. Skibbel connects like-minded perverts so they can text chat about their genitalia. The great thing about texting is that you can do it anywhere, anytime, without drawing attention to yourself, as long as you don’t wear sweatpants.

Simplicity is Bliss

Skibbel web design could not get any simpler. There are no menus or pages of content to rummage through. You just type in the web address, tell them what you’re looking for, and they will connect you with other people. That’s it.

The single-step between you and sexting is answering three questions; gender, age, and what gender you are seeking. Boom, you’re done. If you want, there is room to write any notes you would like to appear on your profile and a space to add pictures.

Beavers, Damn!

After you fill out the questionnaire, Skibbel starts connecting you with users. Before I even knew what was happening, a bitch was sending me pictures of her beaver. Oh, no!! Why did I wear sweatpants to my grandma’s funeral?!

The site consists of a chatbox with options to text, send audio, send pics, send video, and send files. Above the chat box is a thumbnail profile pic and the person’s location. The only other button is to end a chat. Instantly upon completing a conversation, you are connected with another person. You don’t have to do a thing.

That is the entire kit and kaboodle; if Skibbel had fewer parts, it would fall out of your monitor. There is not one iota of extra bullshit anywhere to be seen. There are barely even any ads. It’s just you and an endless line of sluts to sext.

Before you find a bitch to lie to about your dick, you will be exiting out of several chats. Sometimes dudes come up no matter what you tell the site you are looking for. Many of the female users are advertising live cam sites. Those are usually bots; therefore, they won’t respond to you.

 You’re able to report users if the robots got your inner Karen brewing. It’s not a terrible idea to do so as it only takes a second, and it helps Skibbel keep the riff-raff off their site. Plus, it’s one less fuck you that I have to scroll past on the search for pussy.

A decent rule of thumb is she does not exist if her profile pic is a ten or her intro line is “Hey.” Many bots will send a link to a cam site without even a hello. I admit I do love a girl that skips foreplay.

Some of the sites that get linked are exact copycats of Skibbel. This leads me to have multiple chat boxes open to increase my odds of quickly finding a proper match. Beware, maintaining multiple boner-inducing conversations can be challenging. I’m not a strong multitasker when my cocks not in my hand, let alone when it is.

Sharing files, audio, pics, and visuals has been made simple on Skibbel. It’s one-button access once you allow the site to use your mic and cam. If you are like me, though, neither your face nor cock should be photographed in the light of day. That’s why I upload pictures of attractive people that have bigger cocks than me. That bar is set extraordinarily low, so it’s easy digging something up off Google images.

Liar, Liar, Dick on Fire

You might as well set the mood and tell bitches you’re a doctor or lawyer on your profile, also. Don’t combine being an MD with a picture of some Brad Pitt-looking motherfucker, though. The profile still has to be somewhat believable. And when you type like a retard, the other person will know something’s up. “Did you write your dissertation this poorly?” I did bitch; that’s how good I am at my job.

On that note, it’s not a bad idea to have some lines already written that you can copy and paste when you need them. You know, poetic bullshit you could never come up with on the fly. Look up some poems online and claim you wrote the shit. Or quote Shakespeare like you had that knowledge on lock already.

If you’re bi or gay, you will have less trouble finding a match. These gentlemen don’t fuck around. They get right to dick pics and jerking. If only more women could take the same approach. If I die and come back a whore, I promise my life’s work will be making men cum. It will be my gift to you.

The Sweet Spot

Worry not; there are thirsty bitches on Skibbel. A sweet spot exists for finding a real woman’s profile. Look for ages between 35 and 55. The profile pic should be between a five and a seven. As women get older, they get super horny for cock. I’m talking pubescent male type horny. These bitches’ pussies are soaking through their panties.

Middle-aged women want to do some freaky shit. That’s when sluts start requesting anal and BDSM. They all want to be bruised, man-handled, and torn asunder. Your cock will be treated as a dildo for their pleasure. All you have to do is sing the Golden Girls theme song in your head to try not to cum.

I’ve been exchanging GIFs and pics on email with a forty-five-year-old I met on Skibbel. She sends me shit that turns my cock into the space needle. Pussy lips spread like a butterfly. The asshole gaped open like she fucked a parking meter. Mouth around a chunky Campbells soup can. Flattering bitch, but as long as you can fit a pencil between your lips, you’ll be able to fit my member in with room to spare.

The ease of use is what makes Skibbel such a fantastic sext site. You can’t help but keep clicking. It feels like pulling the bar on a slot machine. Any moment you could receive a picture of the inside of some cunts vulva. The thought gives me goosebumps on my shaft; now, it’s ribbed for her pleasure.

Even with a product as simple as Skibbel, not everything is perfect. It can get annoying if you’re on a cold streak of finding a real woman. I wish Skibbel had some filter to weed out some of the robot accounts.

Many dudes come up, even if you marked in your profile that you want to find women. It’s okay; you can skip right past them. Most of the time, they log off before I’ve even had a chance to ignore them. You’re not in danger of catching an unwanted dick pic, but it is still irritating.

If you are tired of passively watching porn and want to get involved, but not too involved, sexting is the answer. Skibbel is perhaps the easiest way to get started immediately. Take the ten seconds required to make a profile and give it a shot.