PirouVR

Pirou VR! It would appear that only two forces drive innovation these days, war and sex. As much as we would like to think we are more, humans haven't evolved much since standing upright. We are still the same old loud, violent, and horny monkies we were from day one.

War certainly sucks balls, but at least porn is awesome. If it weren't for porn, sex wouldn't translate to technological development. Plain old fucking is good enough. The only way I could see it becoming a driving force for human advancement is if we started adding Borg-like implants to bitches pussies.

Sure, there could be some improvements made in this sector. For example, cybernetic implants could make pussies tighter, wetter, and more sensitive, but I don't see the impetus to start. It's too easy to start fucking a bitch right away. Let me rephrase that. It's too easy for men like me to start fucking a bitch right away.

On the other hand, men have much impetus to make watching porn and masturbating better. That's because the scientists that are intelligent enough to invent shit don't get pussy. They have a stake in every advancement porn makes because it directly affects their lives.

If they had a steady supply of puss being dropped in their laps, they would never lift a finger to build sex robots or VR helmets. They would be far too busy diving balls deep in other science sluts. But as it stands, science doesn't make pussies wet, so here we are.

Erection=Masturbate cuntinuously Squared

And I'm glad for it. Every time I'm watching bitches bone on my virtual reality helmet while fucking my Tesla Sex Robot, I tip my hat to all the Einsteins and Newtons of the world that made it possible.

If you haven't experienced virtual reality porn yet, you are fucking up big time. It's the best thing to hit the game since the fleshlight. VR is the closest you will ever come to fucking Riley Reid or Emily Willis. It's almost like being there.

I know what you're thinking, "Mr. Porndude, I don't have the kind of money required to purchase an Occulus." That's just fine. Let me introduce you to Google Cardboard, the VR "helmet" made with just your phone and some well-placed cardboard. For the low price of $14.99, you can be the proud owner of a sticky paper 3D magic machine. You can even download the plans to build one yourself out of a generic brand cereal box.

Once you have your helmet together, head over to Pirouvr to get your hands on some world-class virtual reality porn. When you first don your helmet and stare directly into the pussy of Abella Danger, you won't know how to react. It will be far too much stimulation for your tiny brain to handle.

From an observer's perspective, it would seem that the VR experience should feel like watching a giant screen, but it's so much more than that. So much of our brain is dedicated to visual perception that your brain thinks this shit is happening. It completely throws off your sense of what's real and what's fake.

Pirouvr is perfectly built to blow your mind. They have a vast collection of VR porn that will light your cock on fire. The website has an extremely modern look. It would be pretty silly to put the cutting edge of porn tech onto a garbage website with design cues from fifteen years ago.

There are two main menus ob Pirouvr. The first sits up top and includes the options Home, search bar, log in, Join now, How to watch VR, VR porn stars, VR categories, VR studios, Free porn site, and a link to your favorite resident porn addict.

The second menu is a drop-down hiding in the top left corner. It has the options Join now, Sign in, VR studios, How to watch, Porn stars, Categories, Trending, Liked videos, For women, Gay, Trans, and Blog. Pirouvr has a little something for everybody.

The rest of the front page is loaded with content that can be organized by upload date or most viewed. New content is constantly being added so that every time you visit, you can see something new.

I would describe the content collection as having a classic flavor. It is exceptionally well-produced, as is required to make great VR videos. The colors pop, the lines are sharp, and the realism is through the roof. You'll completely forget you're not actually fucking Cece Capella. Let's check out some of the content here on Pirouvr.

Nothing gets a girl's panties to drop quite like a few shots. "Battleshots" takes this concept to the big screen. Or should I say helmet screen? It stars the incredibly sexy duo, Alba De Silva and Sicilia.

What begins as an innocent pool party devolves into a fuck fest after a few jello shots. Once the ladies get the first couple in them, the tops come off, and from there, only one thing can happen. After the ladies spot the massive erection their male friend is rocking, they decide to do something with it—lucky him.

Choose-Your-Own-Fuckventure

With this new porn medium at their fingertips, porn producers are developing creative ways to increase realism even further. "Capital Sins Wrath Halloween Special - Free VR Porn Video" is a fine example. Who remembers old school choose-your-own-adventure books from childhood? What am I thinking? Of course, you guys don't. You motherfuckers are only barely literate enough to read me. You undoubtedly weren't enjoying books as a child.

But you've probably heard about them from your more intelligent friends. Picture that concept, but with porn videos. Capital Sins allows you to choose what direction you want to take. Choose from such fantastic options as Lesbian scenes, Voyeur, Anal, Facials, Parties, The girlfriend experience, Threesomes, Orgies, and plenty of cum shots. You'll be able to watch this again and again, experiencing something new every time.

Nerds get a bad rap in high school, but we all know that one cute geek that needs her pussy reamed out. The one that's been ignored by men but grew giant tits while no one was looking. I still remember Sarah from chemistry class. Her tits used to sit on top of her desk like a paperweight.

"Nerd Girl - Free VR Porn Video" lets you relive those moments. Staring Angel Rush and Steve Q, the video starts with what is supposed to be a simple math lesson. Steve has been struggling in math class, and Angel was kind enough to offer her tutoring services. However, while passing differential equations is nice and all, getting your dick sucked is fare better.

It's clear that no one has been touching Angel's pussy because it's wet enough to waterboard a terrorist with. Fortunately, Steve knows just what to do with it. This bitch will never be the same now that she knows what an orgasm feels like.

No VR porn site is complete without remakes, and one of my favorites is "Rogue Cum." This Star Wars-based sexual thriller will have you both on the edge of your seat and the edge of cumming.

Starring the likes of Misha Cross, Ava Koxxx, Anissa Kate, and Potro De Bilbao, this film is meticulously crafted. It features binaural sound, high def resolution, a 180-degree 3D view screen, sixty frames per second, and zero camera shaking. For my money, this shit is better than the original. I suppose the bar isn't too high for that, though.

I had to click on "Swimming Coach - Free VR Porn Video." I'm not a strong swimmer and would love if a bitch like Vinna Reed showed me the way. This bitch is a petite sexy teen ready to handle anything that dick can throw at her.

The male costar is named Angelo Godshack. I only mention that because it's a badass porn name, and Angelo lives up to it by getting all up in Vienna's God shack.

Listen, you guys, it's highly unlikely you'll ever have sex. It's just not in the cards for you, but VR porn is almost as good. You'll lose yourself in a world of orgies, anal, and MILFs. The line between reality and fantasy will blur until you don't know if you're dreaming or wide awake.

The website has a clean, modern design to go with its cutting-edge tech. The wide selection of videos will keep you beating off for hours at a time.

As far as problems with the site go, I only have one complaint. Because not every format fits every helmet, they should offer to filter content by VR device. This would be particularly helpful to Google Cardboard users.

VR porn is the future and might be your best hope to replace sex. So get yourself a helmet and check it out now.