HentaiBar

Hentai Bar sounds like the kind of place where a fedora-wearing weeb can have a couple drinks and meet the cosplay waifu of his dreams. Of course, we all face the indignity of having to live in the real world, where human-flesh ladies still shudder at the thought of being hit on by a fan of pornographic anime. Fortunately for them, fans of the genre rarely talk to women in the first place. Perhaps a brick-and-mortar Hentai Bar would be a waste of time, because do you really want to be in a room full of fellow incels when you’re just trying to rub one out to your favorite tentacle sex scene?

I kid, of course, but not about wanting privacy when I’m jacking off to obscene Japanese cartoons. I imagine you feel the same way, which is why I think you’re going to like what HentaiBar.com actually has to offer. This is a free tube full of full-length hentai episodes, making it the perfect site to while away the hours, days and years spent alone in your mom’s basement. Maybe “alone” isn’t quite the right word, since the site does get a few million visitors every month. You’re in good company, my perverted friends, and today your old pal ThePornDude is fapping along with you.

Relaxing at the Hentai Bar

HentaiBar has a familiar wall of thumbnails out front, just like you’d see on basically any kind of porn tube out there. I do like the stripped-down presentation and understated color scheme. Their logo is just their name, simple as can be, though the Bar half highlights in another color when there’s a mouse hovering over it. It’s a little touch, but I appreciate it. It’s another reason I know their layout is intentionally chill, rather than fucking lazy like you find on some of the other hentai tubes out here.

With my adblocker running, there wasn’t even any spam out front, leaving all that space for pointy-eared elf babes, big-eyed 18+ schoolgirls, thick-bottomed space princess chicks, and green-haired futanari rabbit bitches. Even before I’d begun digging, it was apparent they were stocking the shelves with a wide variety of kinky, freaky anime smut. That’s why you’re here, right?

The sidebar menu feels classy as fuck despite being full of absolute filth. Click the button at the top of the screen and you get a duration slider to dial in your preferred length, and a whole fucking lot of hentai tags. I kind of wish they’d stripped down the selection out front to a more manageable number of scenarios, sex acts and fetishes, because it’s a little overwhelming. Most hentai sites save the full list for a sprawling Tags page, while these guys put the whole scroll right out front.

It's long enough that you’re probably better off typing your favorite genres or keywords into the search bar, though it’s definitely worth a browse, especially if you’re new to the world of hentai. They’ve got typical porn tags you’d find anywhere, like Anal, Foot Fetish and Masturbation, but it's the extra-freaky shit that draws in a lot of fans. You can do all kinds of shit in hentai that I could never get away with at PornDudeCasting, for both logistical and legal reasons.

So, what’ll it be for this morning’s wank session? Are you going to hump your waifu pillow looking at HentaiBar’s Gang Rape movies, their Humanoid Alien section, or their Mind Control episodes? There are Parasites and Pegging, Sex Toys and Fake Sexual Abuse, Tentacles, Piloted Robots, Large Insertion and Lactation.

Stocking Shelves at the HentaiBar

I picked a good day to review HentaiBar.com, because they just uploaded half a dozen new hentai eps this morning. The last batch before this happened a few weeks ago. While they don’t have the steady all-day everyday uploads you get on the big everything-goes tubes, they add roughly another couple dozen videos to the site every month. You might be disappointed if you’re stopping by and looking for new stuff every day, but it’s a nice stop to add to your weekend marathon fap sessions.

I kept turning the page until I got to the very end of that hentai picture menu, page 118. The earliest vids say they were uploaded 14 years ago, which is pretty wild for a domain registered in 2017. I’m not sure how to account for that; maybe it’s a glitch or maybe Hentai Bar has a time machine, but either way, they’ve built a fucking huge collection in the time they’ve been around. The full stash contains nearly 3,000 hentai episodes. You no longer have to settle for unsatisfying masturbatory sessions to Naruto reruns.

You can also peruse the selection by Series, which they’ve laid out in another picture menu of glistening butts, jiggly boobies and smiling faces with huge eyes and funny hair. Sorting the Series by Most Viewed, I see popular properties like Ane Wa Yan Mama Junyuu Chuu, Yarichin Bitch-Bu, Gaki ni Modotte Yarinaoshi and Seikatsu Shuukan The Animation. I admit, I’m not as familiar with X-rated anime as I am with real-life pornstars, but I quickly spotted familiar Series like Master Piece, Overflow, Boy Meets Harem and Sensitive Pornograph.

If you’re new to hentai or just can’t remember all those Japanese titles, I recommend browsing the HentaiBar.com collection by Series, and then sorting by Most Viewed or Top Rated. That’s how I learned about Paizuri Cheerleader VS Sakunyuu Ouendan. I’m not ashamed to admit I had to take a half-hour break from writing this review to watch the first episode, even if one of the other Starbucks customers complained about my choice of viewing material. Some people have no respect for the arts.

Speaking the Universal Language of Sex Moans

With a few thousand videos to choose from, I wasn’t sure where to begin my official Hentai Bar fap test. Should I start with a BDSM succubus, some lesbian office ladies or maybe one of those mechanical tentacle movies? One thing I like about HentaiBar is that so many of the videos are dubbed in English, which is good if you’re a weeaboo who cares about the dialog in your dirty movies. If I have any complaint at all about the site’s setup, it’s that I wish you could browse the selection by subbed, dubbed or raw status. (A search for “dubbed” turned up zero results in the library.)

I decided to start with Sakusei Byoutou The Animation, jumping right into the middle of things with episode three. I chose it because it’s subbed in English, and the angry nurse giving a footjob in the thumbnail turned me on. Since this was officially released in Japan, the dingdong with the foot on it is blurred out by flesh-colored pixels. Censorship is unfortunately the standard around here, on Hentai Bar or any other hentai site.

The censorship always feels so weird and out-of-place in hentai, because it’s probably the kinkiest form of pornography out there. This cartoon was even freakier than I expected from the thumbnail, opening with the nurse licking her lips and terrorizing a helpless patient with an electric stun gun. Turns out the title translates to Semen Extraction Ward. After the title card, the nurse drops her ass onto the patient’s face and starts shocking his dick, which explodes with jizz.

Since it’s a full-length episode, I really expected some setup dialog and other slow shit, but nope. It’s pretty much hardcore dick-milking femdom the whole time. “I’ll squeeze you dry!” shouts the nurse before aggressively stroking him off with her foot. “I’m gonna milk you so hard and get that semen out!” That’s in the first few minutes, after which she uses a drill fitted with a cock sleeve to torture the cum out.

I’ve got the weirdest boner right now, and honestly? That’s a good sign of a high-quality hentai library. The whole genre excels at ramping the perversion up to a level rarely seen in live action pornos, and HentaiBar.com has a hell of a collection. Whether you’re after some intensely kinky porno animation or you’d rather have something a little more traditional to beat off to, like 18+ schoolgirl orgies or futanari rape scenes, they’ve got it by the boatload. You may never have to leave the house ever again.