ToyDemon

What comes to mind when you think of a Toy Demon? Maybe you envision a horned little horny dude on your shoulder, telling you to jerk off instead of getting any work done. I imagine a crazy anime monster with a bunch of rubber tits, silicone twats and a handful of vibrating plastic boners. Just based on the sheer variety of weird-ass sex toys on this site I’m looking at, I bet every pervert’s got a different concept of what makes a Toy Demon.

Variety is the spice of life, they say, so you’re going to fucking love ToyDemon.com if you’ve been bored by the usual selection of buttplugs and lube you find on your typical boring sex toy site. Since 2008, their mission has been to supply weeaboos, otaku deviates and hardcore masturbators with Asia’s best sex toys. Even if you don’t have a neckbeard, a fedora or a Reddit account, I have a feeling you’re going to be impressed with this shit.

Just WTF Is a ToyDemon?

I’ve always been a little envious of Japanese masturbatory culture. Sure, American dudes have always had some of the world’s best porno at their disposal, but when it comes to sex toys, we’ve always been underserved. Chicks got doctor-prescribed vibrators in the early 20th century, followed by a steady stream of new and improved fake dicks. Guys have historically had far fewer options in things to touch their dicks with; rich guys could buy thousand-dollar sex dolls and queers could buy cock rings, but the average Joe only had Fleshlights and knockoffs.

I remember the first time I saw a commercial for the Tenga egg on the Internet. It was in Japanese and wasn’t subtitled, but the innocuous-looking gadget’s purpose was clear: you put your dick in the tight, lubricated hole. This was a high-tech male masturbator, the likes of which I’d never seen. I fell down the rabbit hole, learning about all the fun toys these lucky-ass Japanese dudes could use to play with themselves. They’re a technologically advanced country, and that clearly applies to their self-love products as well.

ToyDemon’s catalog has all of Japan’s most famous male masturbators, shipped for free from Illinois. (You’ll have to pay a few bucks outside of the contiguous 48 states, but even their international rates are reasonable.) Goddamn, you fuckers don’t realize how lucky you have it. When perverts like me first heard about these, we’d have to make friends with somebody across the ocean or settle for used anime pocket pussies on eBay. You can get your brand-new fake buttholes in a matter of days, while I used to wait weeks just to find out I ordered the wrong size.

One of the problems back in the day was the language barrier when ordering from Japanese sites, and the problem was worsened by shoddy, second-rate websites. ToyDemon.com is in plain English and the whole website setup is professional as hell. It always feels safer ordering from a joint that looks this good, but goddamn, I hope I don’t burn through my whole masturbation budget today. There’s a ton of enticing toys right on ToyDemon’s front page.

All the Onaholes You’ll Ever Need

If you don’t know anything about Japanese sex toys, you might think the front page of ToyDemon.com is just going to be a bunch of pocket pussies and lube. As I said, that’s all Americans had for decades, so I understand if that’s what you’re thinking. In a second here, you’re going to feel like a kid in a candy store, knocking shit off the shelves with your aching boner.

Yes, they do have plenty of portable pussies on the menu. In Japan, they’re called onaholes, and ToyDemon has a wide fucking variety of those bad boys. There are translucent fuck sleeves based on anime virgins, artificial bungholes modeled after 18+ manga schoolgirls, and anime mouths designed for putting your penis inside. They’ve got simple fake pussies if you’re easy to please, and products like the aptly named Absorption Lilith Six Uterus if you’re more of a freak.

They’ve got more than 700 different masturbator sleeves and onaholes for sale. The cataloging system is advanced, making it much easier to sort through the pile of artificial genitals than you might expect. The filters along the edge of the page will let you choose your favorite types of holes, your preferred price range, material and user rating.

I fucking love how ToyDemon has them divided between disposable and reusable, as well as differentiating between through-holes and closed holes. If you’ve ever used male masturbators of any kind, you know these are some of the prime factors to consider. I’m a fan of the open-hole style, since you can stick a sock on the end to catch your sperm. Closed do create a nice vacuum-sucking effect, but can be a pain in the ass to clean properly.

Oh, speaking of cleaning your onaholes properly, Toy Demon has an article on the subject that I recommend you read if your girlfriend is made of rubber and you keep her on your nightstand. One of the site’s biggest strengths is that they clearly know and care about the products they’re selling.

When you’re in the market for these types of things, it’s definitely preferable to do business with the kind of people who regularly stick their dicks into anime-themed tubes of silicone.

Male Masturbation Toys from the Future

I feel like most of you are going to buy an 18+ anime schoolgirl pussy and call it a day. Onaholes are wildly popular because they’re fairly cheap and arguably one of the most effective forms of male masturbators. ToyDemon.com does have some truly next-level toys, though, and every pervert owes it to themselves to at least peruse the selection. I’m masturbating for science and culture here!

One of the featured products on the front page is a big-ass pair of anime breasts suitable for groping and fucking. Those puppies weigh in at over 10 pounds and are built with a three-layer design to maximize realism. There’s a demonstration video of somebody oiling up those fake titties to demonstrate their jiggliness and the ease with which a simulated dingdong slides between them.

Displayed prominently at the very top of ToyDemon’s front page right now is a full-body plush doll with rotating limbs. ToyDemon.com stocks a few plush Meiki products. Bang the faceless full body if you want the full experience, or stick your dick in an armless torso or set of disembodied hips. You will need to purchase an onahole that fits, but it’s cheaper than getting a real girlfriend.

Toy Demon is also selling this amazing piece of futuristic masturbatory technology called the VORZE A10 Piston SA, and now I’m obsessed. At a glance, the big-ass gizmo looks like a goddamn air purifier or some bullshit; only there’s a pink fuckhole at the bottom. The video shows a cross-section of the machinery as the piston works, pulling back and tightening the synthetic twat with each tug.

Japanese Fap Toys for All Budgets

There’s also a little banner for the Tenga Spinner range on the front page. Their low price is definitely more accessible to the average pervert, not to mention their easy-to-conceal size. I had the Hexa model, which lasted me a couple of months. While I loved the feel of the material and the little stimulating hexagons, the spinning seems like a gimmick. You don’t really feel it spin, and that spiral of plastic prevents you from turning it inside out when it’s time to clean.

As with any masturbation devices, your mileage is going to vary. There’s definitely a lot of personal preference that goes into it, and sometimes it takes a few tries to find the perfect fap gadget. I’m using a Tenga 3D Spiral now; I don’t like the texture or material as much as the Spinner, but it’s got a spin I can actually feel without the cleaning issues of the Spinner.

Whatever your masturbatory style or price range, ToyDemon.com has probably got something that will fit both your needs and your cock. They’ve got all kinds of Asian masturbators, from those entry-level onaholes to the science fiction fuck toys that you plug into the wall before plugging in your junk. Japan has always been ahead of the curve when it comes to male masturbation products, and Toy Demon is a great place for Westerners to get the hookup. It’s easy to recommend to anybody who’s in the market for an 18+ anime schoolgirl twat, but I also recommend it to any masturbator who’s still unfamiliar with Japanese sex toys.