What can we find at Harlot Hub? Pussy! Hands down, not a chance in hell anyone’s passing up pussy to watch porn instead. And anyone who is, is either a flaming faggot or a pussy ass cuck with zero balls whatsoever. So, which one are you then, bub? Why is it that you aren’t out there getting laid right fucking now? Well, seeing as you’re reading one of my reviews (and not a review from that pussy piece of shit, Mr. Porn Nerd), I think it’s probably pretty fucking safe to assume that you’re not a homo. So, that really only leaves one option. Yeah, I had a feeling, you’re a quivering little vagina, aren’t you? Damn it.
Well, fuck, it sure as hell won’t be easy, but it’s not too late. You can still be saved. You’re a lucky fuck, too, had you waited any longer to read this review, it would’ve been too late for you. You would have been beyond repair. Jesus cum guzzling Christ, man! How long has it been since you’ve been balls deep in some poon? A month? … More? … No … Two months? … Shit, really, longer than that? Please tell me it’s not six months or more … Oh, dear god … a year? … Longer?! … Good god, maybe you are beyond repair…
If that’s the case, well, I think it’s fair to say that there’s a good chance you aren’t getting any pussy the old-fashioned way. Clearly walking up to girls and striking conversations just isn’t your thing. And, hey, we can’t all be suave, charming, and confident as I am. I get that. I was blessed in ways most men were not. I was born with a gift. Well, two gifts actually. One, I am naturally skilled at spittin’ game. And two, well, to put it bluntly, my cock is big enough to make a horse self-conscious. Bitches basically get wet the moment I walk up to them.
But I understand, I get it, you struggle with the ladies. It’s fine, really. Nothing to be ashamed of. Well, I mean, you should probably be a little ashamed. It’s not a difficult skill. It literally requires nothing more than talking. Like literally. That’s all it is. Opening your mouth and making word sounds. You know, simply talking to an attractive female like maybe she’s, I don’t know, a human being, as opposed to tripping over your words and getting anxious and nervous because she’s got a nice set of tits and a booty. They really got it right in The 40-Year-Old Virgin (you might know it better as existence?), you can’t – put – the – pussy – on – a – pedestal!
Bitches recoil at the very first sign that you find them attractive. At least at first. Bitches just want to be talked to like peers. They want to have fun, just like you. So, here’s a tip, it should help you out for the rest of your life: just talk to a hot chick the way you would talk to an ugly chick. It’s as simple as that. She’s a person, you’re a person … you want to bang, but she can’t know that. Not at first anyway. Lay down the foundation first, let her know you see her as more than a shiny object to stick your dick into (or at least make her think that you do), and, later, she will be much more likely to become that shiny object to stick your dick into … I guarantee it.
Ah, there’s some wisdom for ya. You’re welcome. However, given your track record, that’s probably gonna take a little bit of time to work up to. That doesn’t mean you don’t desperately need to unload that gun before you go out and try your tricks in public on unsuspecting chicas. So, it’s time to get you laid first. You know, you gotta get rid of the poison. How are you going to do that, you wonder? Well, honestly, it’s easy. Even easier than talking to girls … the answer is: Escorts!
Yup, that’s your only fucking hope. At least for now. Until you can get your shit together and actually take a girl home from the bar or some shit. But, like I said, you’re not there yet. Far from it, actually. So, baby steps it is. First, you gotta get some pussy, and there’s no better way than some professional poon, no strings attached, to get you either back in the game after a long absence or onto the playing field for the first time. There are literally no better hands in the world than those of an escort. Experience goes a long way, bub, it’s true.
Great Site Design, Plenty of Locales
Where to find your escort, though? Hm … how about Harlot Hub? Honestly, Harlot Hub is one of the best-looking escort ad sites I’ve ever seen. It’s professional, it’s discreet, and it’s effective (which is, coincidentally, exactly the traits you want in an escort as well). The moment that I arrived at Harlot Hub, I was immediately impressed by the site design. It’s minimalist, it looks good, and it’s intuitive. All you need to do is type a keyword into the search bar at the center of the page and, voila, you’re good to go, motherfucker!
Or, alternately, you could also browse by city. That’s the way that I prefer to do it, personally. Just makes it easier. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to want to see broads from Wales if I’m trying to get my dick wet in New York, right? I may have a little extra cash lying around, but I’m definitely not fly-in-a-hooker-from-another-country rich! Not yet, anyway. But, shit, I’m young. There’s still time to get there. #goals.
The list of cities that Harlot Hub caters to is pretty comprehensive, I must say. It can be difficult to find a good escort ad/adult classifieds site that caters to mid-sized cities as well as bustling metropolises. Harlot Hub does seem to have both. Bear in mind, though, and maybe this goes without saying, but you are going to find significantly fewer girls (or guys, or trannies, or fucking Siamese twins, I don’t fucking know … whatever you’re into; no judgments here … hail Satan!) in a smaller city. Buffalo, New York, for example, just has a much smaller total population than NYC does. And a smaller population means – say it with me, class – fewer prostitutes! Very good!
A Little Room for Improvement
As far as the quality of the girls and their posts are concerned, well, that also has more to do with your location than the site itself. Well, actually, it would be more accurate to say that that has more to do with the girl herself than it does the site. I mean, a post is only as good as the girl is hot. But it also depends on how much information and how many pictures she chooses to include. It’s totally up to her.
Some girls include 10+ pics, plenty of stats, a tantalizing bio, prices, phone number, email, etc.; whereas other girls are stingy with the info for some fucking reason. Maybe they’ll post 3 pics (if you’re lucky) and give you nothing in the way of a bio. Stats? Kiss my ass, she might as well say, leaving damn near everything blank. And, of course, maybe you would kiss her ass, if only she left the appropriate amount of info for you to do so!
Honestly, though, I feel like the site could take a little more responsibility for that kind of thing. Personally, if I were to run an escort ad/adult classifieds site, I would make it a requirement for a certain amount of info to be filled out. You would also have to include five or more pics and a mode of contact (either a phone number or email address). Shit, if I were really feeling like going above and beyond, I would just hire someone to code an in-site messaging client. That way, fuck it, why not just use the escort ad site directly if you want to contact the girls. That might even ensure a certain level of respect from male callers for the girls to expect and appreciate.
But Harlot Hub does not go above and beyond. At least not to that degree. As I said, it’s a great-looking, easy to use site with plenty of escorts, body rub providers, dom and fetish services, and classifieds ads (you can also easily create your own post if you’re feeling entrepreneurial). But there could be more rigorous requirements for posts. Plus, a few more interactive features would really set this site apart from the rest.