CallEscort

I think I might Call Escort tonight because - between you and me - it’s been a real dry spell lately. I like to supplement my chronic masturbation with some real, live pussy from time to time, but Tinder isn’t what it used to be before COVID. Anyway, I kind of like the sure thing of paying a woman to juggle my balls instead of spending hours laying the groundwork that may or may not pay off. Who’s got time to bullshit on the phone when you have aching blue balls and a throbbing boner?

That’s where CallEscort.org comes in. It’s one of those site titles that doesn’t need much explanation if you’re old enough to use it, but I’ll spell it out for the retards: this is a big-ass escort directory with listings all across the United States. The joint gets a couple of million visitors a month, which is always a good sign on such a site. Ideally, those traffic numbers break down to a huge selection of sluts and a whole lot of dudes getting laid tonight. Let’s see how well I do.

For a Good Time, CallEscort

When I first pulled up Call Escort, I thought it might be specific to Las Vegas escorts because that’s what it showed me first. I clicked the Other States button and realized they’ve actually got listings in every state. Some sites will ask to look at your location data and then serve up the prostitutes, masseuses, and dominatrixes in your area, but here that takes a couple of clicks. Honestly, I rarely opt in to location sharing, so I would have done the clicks anyway.

So click I did, making my way swiftly and surely to the escort listings in my area, and was immediately rewarded. I’m in the suburbs of one of the biggest metropolitan areas in the country, and there are just shy of 3,000 listings in my area. That’s precisely the first thing I want to see on a site like this, so we’re off to a perfect start. They’ve got thousands of chicks listed in the big cities and a fair number even in smaller, less populated locations. Prescott, Arizona, for example, has a population of just 42,000 but more than a dozen professionals to choose from. Wherever you are, you aren’t far from some paid action.

I went to my city after checking out Prescott, and low and behold, a bunch of new listings have been posted. That’s another one of the best signs you can get on a site like this. The escorts are posting fresh ads all night and day. I’ve reviewed more than a couple of websites where most of the listings were stale as hell. It’s hard enough trying to buy a car or a used sex doll through an outdated ad, but the matter gets even more complicated in the legally gray areas escorts and their fans thrive in.

Show Me Some Local Sluts

The very newest listings on CallEscort.org, added just minutes ago as I write this, is a thick Latina who’s looking back over her shoulder in the thumbnail, making a fuck-me face and showing off her big ass in a stripper dress that hides nothing at all. A stamp at the bottom of the pic tells you when it was posted, so you know it’s fresh, and that’s followed immediately by the girl’s age and phone number. No signup or registration is required to view anything, including contact info. I’ve seen escort directories that want you to sign up, and that seems like a great way to chase away users in a business where customers demand anonymity.

This will vary depending on how hard law enforcement is cracking down on escorts in your area, but most of my local ladies of the night are posting face pics on Call Escort. I definitely prefer to see faces first because while I’ve banged my share of butterfaces, I love a pretty mug to go with my big racks and tight cooters. It’s an essential component of the whole package, and I’m glad to see it here.

It doesn’t stop with faces, though. There are a surprising number of escort sites out there that restrict the girls from posting explicit content, presumably in some misguided attempt to clean up the website. We’re goddamn adults, though, and we’re trying to pay for sex here. That’s why I was happy to see that they post a lot of nudes and sex pics. CallEscort doesn’t have videos, which is unfortunate, but they did have a girl with a cock in her mouth show up at the top of my search results, and I certainly can’t complain about that. Other women post close-up snatch pics so you can see exactly what you’re paying for, which is precisely how commerce should work.

Now back to that big-ass Latina who popped up at the top of the page. She has since been usurped from the number one position by more than a whole page of new listings posted while I was typing this up, but I still wanted to see what the 23-year-old was offering. So, clicking through to her post, I found nearly a dozen fapworthy full-size shots showing off her booty, her boobs, her feet, and her lovely face. Shit, she’s really shaping up to be the one.

It almost goes without saying that if CallEscort.org has explicit photos, they’ve also got detailed listings. There’s a bit of a mixed bag here, as I found a few girls who were intentionally vague in their listings. Most of the girls get pretty specific about what it is they’re selling. For example, this chick’s profile straight-up says she’s got pussy, mouth, and ass on offer, but she doesn’t do BB, which stands for Bare Back. It may be helpful to open an escort acronym dictionary in another tab if you’re a newbie to this world, but it’s not nearly as hard to decipher as the sites where the escorts are required to be vague.

Find Yourself a 5-Star Whore

I kept the Latina in the open tab because, at the very least, I’m going to crank off to her photos. She’s willing to verify her identity over FaceTime, which is great, but her post is missing something I’d noticed elsewhere: reviews.

On the main hooker selection screen, CallEscort.org adds a row of empty stars between each pic and phone number. Most of the girls don’t have reviews, which is a bummer, but a lot of them do. That means you can read actual reviews and rankings from previous customers. I’m the kind of picky motherfucker who won’t order a new jizz sock without reading the reviews first, so why would I buy the human version without digging a little more?

Based on how Call Escort listings seem to come in batches, I’m guessing they’re moderated in some way to help prevent scammers. That said, it’s challenging to ensure all posts are real in an industry that’s always been ripe for scams. Right away, a couple of one-star hookers pop out at me; one’s got a review that just says “scam,” while the other has a long writeup about how she was a bitch, reneged on what she agreed to, and couldn’t fuck without hitting her damn vape every few minutes.

On the other end of the spectrum, I found a Call Escort listing for a redhead stripper MILF not far from me, and she’s got a 5-star review from a dude who couldn’t stop sucking her sweet pussy. So I reshuffled the local listings to put the best-reviewed listings at the top and found respectable harlots in every shape, size, and color.

Speaking of reshuffling the listings, my only real complaint about CallEscort was the minimal number of filters. You can sort by post time, rating, popularity, and age, but you can’t dial in specifics like body types, hair color, ethnicity, or sex acts. If they rolled those in there, this site would be damn-near perfect for finding yourself a little something to keep you entertained for a while.

Given the huge number of local chicks I found, I’d recommend taking a peek at CallEscorts.org to see what kind of good times are available in your neck of the words. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make a FaceTime call.