Kasidie

Kasidie swingers club! I used to be a hardcore, full-fledged, balls to the wall swinger.

Yeah, I tried it out for a while. I figured, why the fuck not? I’m always looking to fuck … apparently there are plenty of other likeminded nymphos out there, too. Why not throw my dick into the ring? It was an interesting experience, but, ultimately, I decided it wasn’t for me.

I began swinging with my ex-girlfriend. Believe it or not, it was kind of her idea. Well, we talked about it quite a bit before we ever decided to give it a whirl. I’m convinced, to this day, that she only suggested it because she was a little slut, and just could not get enough dick, no matter how hard she tried (and god damn, did she try!). She tried to make it sound like it would be a fun way to explore our fucking sexuality together or some shit. If only I knew then what I know now, I would have seen right through that thinly veiled fucking ruse.

I did not know, though, that there was going to be way more dick in the deal for her than there was pussy for me. I mean, I guess I could have fucking guessed that that would be the case. Just knowing that that is always the fucking case. Always a surplus of dick to go around and a shortage of vag, right? Why the fuck did I think things would be any different in the swingers community? I was so fucking naïve.

Don’t get me wrong, though, I crushed my fair share of pussy thanks to this arrangement. But she was getting fucked by way more dudes than I was chicks. After only a few sex parties, it became painfully fucking clear how all that shit was going to go down, and it became a little annoying. I dealt with it just fine at first, you know, I got my dick wet while she got dicked down by some balding fat men in another room. But it got to a certain point, man, where I just couldn’t take that shit anymore.

Slutty by Nature

She started wanting to stay longer and longer. In the beginning, she was cool with wrapping things up shortly after I busted my nut and was ready to go. But as she got more comfortable and involved in the lifestyle, things became a little uneven. She started wanting to stay longer and longer. Long after I would cum, she would stay in the other room, taking fuck knows how many cocks at the same time. What a fucking whore. Hours would pass. Shit, sometimes we would stay long enough for me to rebound and nut two or three more times before she would even come around to the idea of talking about leaving.

Eventually, it got to a point where I just didn’t want to sit around waiting to get horny again while she guzzled cock by the bucketload. The last night I ever saw her was the last night I swung. She got particularly fucking wasted that night. She was always drinking, and she would always drink more when we would go to these swinger parties, but this night she got extra fucking sloppy. She was falling all over the place, touching every inch of flesh she could get her grubby little hands on … in short, breaking just about every rule of the swingers group we were in. She got on top of a table and shouted that she would be offering a gangbang to any guys willing to fuck her. “Line right up,” she kept slurring at the top of her lungs, “line right up and fuck this tight little pussy.”

And line up they did. Every guy at that fucking party had his dick in her that night (except for me). I just got a quick BJ from this anorexic bitch and left. I drove home and never talked to that slut again. I wonder where she is now … who the fuck cares?

I want to be a Swinger … But Where do I Begin?

Just because my experience was so shitty, though, that doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun. As long as your girl isn’t a thoughtless cock hungry maniac, swinging, I would imagine, could be a great bit of fun. But how the fuck do you even get involved in something like that?

Well, one way to start is to join a social network made for swingers called Kasidie. All you have to do is create a username, a password, and upload a picture and, boom, you are linked to horny swingers in your area. It’s as easy as that. It’s as easy as my slut of an ex-girlfriend, fucked up on Captain Morgan at an orgy.

If you’ve been looking for the swingers’ equivalent to Facebook, Kasidie might be as good as it gets. There are tons of features for you to browse local swingers, connect with new couples, learn about upcoming events, become educated on the lifestyle, chat with hot chicks, or find nearby clubs. If it’s related to the swinging life, chances are you can find it on Kasidie.

Once you log in, the site might be a little bit overwhelming to navigate. Just because there are so many moving parts (not entirely unlike an orgy, if you think about it). But allow me to help guide you through everything there is to do on this site. At the top of the page, there is a toolbar, which will help you through.

You can check out chat rooms, check your messages, view profile notifications, browse people by profile and photo gallery, peruse parties and events, browse members who are traveling soon (so you can swing on the road), shoot the shit on one of the many forums, look at a list of swingers clubs, or explore an enormous list of extras, links, and shopping opportunities. It’s like having access to an entire swingers-only city, all from the convenience of your laptop.

The Facebook of Orgies?

Functionality wise, Kasidie works like any other social network. You can like peoples’ pictures, comment on them, leave notes on peoples’ profiles, send messages, update your status, post pics, etc. As I said, it’s basically Facebook for fucking. Like a face fuck book. The sky is pretty much the limit with this site. The only thing getting in your way now is your own ability to socialize, you fucking autistic cuck monkey.

There are some downsides to Kasidie, though. For one, in order to do just about anything on the site (aside from making your own profile), you will need to sign up and pay for a membership. And it isn’t cheap. They offer a few payment options: $20 per month, $45 quarterly, $75 semi-annually (every 6 months), and $129.95 per year. Hey, nobody said finding easy sex with hot chicks on the internet would be cheap.

A Few Additional Notes…

Plus, if you are swinging, chances are you are a part of a couple, so, you can probably cut that cost in half (if your girl is down to split it 50 50, that is). And if you are not in a relationship … ha! … good fucking luck, pal. Single guys never make it to swinger events. And if they do, they are usually required to pay a pretty penny for it (I’ve seen admission be double, sometimes triple, what it is for a couple or a single girl to get in. Hey, it’s like I said before, there is an oversaturation of dicks in these situations!

Also, the site design, I feel, could definitely be spruced up. It isn’t overtly horrible or anything, you know, everything seems to work as it should, none of the links are broken or anything like that. But it definitely doesn’t look as good as it could either. Especially considering the fact that you have to pay so much money to use it. For these prices, I would expect this site to look at least half as good as Facebook. The design is kind of clunky and the user experience isn’t anywhere near as streamlined as it could be.

All in all, if you have the extra money (and preferably a girlfriend or wife into the idea of swinging), Kasidie is definitely a social network site you need to check out. However, if you’re just a dude hoping to hop in on a swinger event, you will probably have better luck getting an in with someone in real life. Either way, enjoy this shit. And don’t let your girl become a cock thirsty slut like mine did!