Hot.com

Hot.com has got to be internet gold. The one-word, three-letter domain was registered way back in 1991, perhaps by somebody who had no idea what they’d do with it. If you’ve ever even thought about starting your own website, you know how fucking hard it is to think of a domain that hasn’t already been taken. It’s difficult enough to come up with a catchy title, let alone a catchy and simple title like this one. I wonder how many aspiring webmasters have done a WHOIS search for Hot.com, only to discover the property has long since been snatched up.

It makes me wonder how many ideas were dreamed up for Hot.com before it became what it is today. With a name like that, they could have been a porn tube, a dating site, or maybe even an enormous catalog of rankings and reviews a la ThePornDude.com, only with microwave ovens rather than porn sites. Instead, the fine folks behind the domain have built a big-ass search engine and directory of real-life adult entertainment, from strip clubs and sex shops to phone sex and dating sites. Today, I’m going to check out their extensive listings of escorts around the world. Now, where’d I put my condoms, lube, and wallet?

Getting Laid the Paid Way

Loading up Hot for the first time, I wasn’t sure what to expect. The name doesn’t tell you much, so when it popped up in my DMs, I envisioned big-boobed starlets shaking their tatas at the camera, OnlyFans girls diddling themselves in their bedrooms, and pornographic cartoons intended for adult eyes only. All I knew going in was that the joint gets millions of visitors every month, which is often enough to get me in the door. If you see a bunch of pervs scrambling outside with their dicks out, it tells you there’s something inside worth getting excited about.

The front page is pretty damn non-descript. The top of the page is largely devoid of descriptive text and headers you find on almost any other website, instead opting for the search-bar-only setup you see on search engines like Google. The big difference here is the background; instead of a dull, empty white space, Hot.com has put that search bar on a background of neon lights promising GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS, LIVE NUDES, and women who GET NAKED.

Scrolling down past the search bar, you start to get a sense of what you are searching for in the first place. Hot has listings around the whole damn world. You’ll find a breakdown of the USA by state and by city, followed by listings in Canada, South America, Australia, Europe, and across Asia. You can find a hooker in Abu Dhabi, Birmingham, or Ho Chi Minh City, which is good news both for globe-trotting deviates and the horny local residents of anywhere.

I clicked the Chicago link to see what kind of action they had available for residents of the Windy City. The city listings on Hot.com break down into different categories like Adult clubs, Strip O Gram Agencies, Cabaret Shows, Gay Escorts, and Night Clubs. They’re an all-inclusive site, so there are even listings for Strip Clubs 4 Female, plus Cam Sites, and Penis Enlargement sites for those who may intend to stay home tonight.

I came here today for the babes, though, so I clicked my way through to Hot’s listings of Female Escorts in Chicago. Instantly, I was greeted with a picture menu of over 500 local escorts waiting to hear from me, or you, your dad, or your grandpa. Hell, even your mom and sister can get in on this, so you may want to shoot them a text before we continue. This joint is hopping!

Where Did All These Sluts Come From?

I had high hopes for Hot as soon as I saw how much traffic they get. Besides, any escort site worth digging into has to have a lot of activity because otherwise, who will you pay to bang? The thing is, though, the setup here is slightly different from other escort sites since the girls aren’t setting up their own profiles here. Instead, the site pulls escort listings from various sources like Eros, AdultSearch, and Slixa.

Right away, that’s taking some of the effort away from your end, letting you browse the offerings of multiple sites from one central location. And given the number of girls that come up on Hot.com for any metropolitan area, it seems like their formula really works.

One of the apparent advantages of the setup is that you’ve got your pick of all kinds of escorts, hookers, whores, and sluts. There are even trannies if that’s what you’re into. I was immediately in awe of the beautiful young Asians, the blonde MILFs, and thick exotic girls. Some of them exude that girl next door vibe, while others are clearly proud of their pornstar good looks, flashing fuck-me faces to match the beautiful racks and G-stringed booties.

One of the only downsides I see to the multi-site setup here is that Hot.com’s own search filters will be sifting through different sets of info from the different escort sites. That means the search filters aren’t going to dig as deep into the variables as you might get elsewhere. So, for example, there’s no way to dial in your preferred body type or fetishes.

That said, Hot.com offers a decent set of filters to start whittling that selection down. I entered my preferred age range, and you can also select hair and eye color, nationality and ethnicity, and who they’re willing to service: Men, Women, Couples, or Groups. I’m traveling alone today, but it’s always nice to have that option available in a convenient check box.

While discussing drawbacks, this seems like a good place to point out my biggest beef with Hot. I love being able to read other user reviews of the escorts I’m about to hire. Unfortunately, Hot.com doesn’t have its own built-in reviews since they’re aggregating listings from other sites. Sometimes you’ll find reviews if you follow a hooker classified ad back to the website it was originally posted on, which is just a bit less convenient than having them built into Hot.com itself.

And Some Free T&A on the Side

I have to admit; I got a little bit distracted by all the free boobies. These girls are doing their best to sell themselves, which means a ton of free T&A in the gallery sections. Is it stealing to beat off to these pictures without hiring the featured models? Maybe I’ll just have to bang them all!

And I won’t have to sign up for an account to do so. I know how some of you guys worry about paper trails, especially if you’re using the same computer as your wife and offspring. Hot.com doesn’t make you register or login to do anything, so you can keep your anonymity.

All the necessary contact info you need is listed right in the Hot.com profiles. But if you’re in a hurry, you don’t even have to read an entire listing because phone numbers are listed right below the thumbnail shots in the search area. So go ahead and shoot a text to Deeba or give Alexis a call. I don’t recommend sending any dick pics until you get established, though. You don’t want to frighten them away with that monster of yours, boss.

It’s hard to find serious fault with Hot. Its only shortcomings result from its overall setup, aggregating hooker listings from other sites around the internet. That means you don’t get quite the same feature set as if you pulled up the individual classified sites, but the minor inconvenience is outweighed by all the time and effort the site can save you trying to track down all the local hookers in your area. It also makes Hot.com worth a look even if you aren’t trying to pay for a blowjob tonight because you might find some adult-friendly entertainment in your neighborhood that you didn’t even know about. Type your town into that search bar on the front page and see what comes up.