It’s the doomscrolling era, baby! The new generation is growing up with triple T memes, brainrot, and a permanent chip on their shoulder from endless vertical video feeds. And what are we doing? We’re moving on to WantMi.com, because Pornhub is boring, and this shiny new website is the latest entry in the never-ending quest to make porn even more addictive. In essence, WantMi.com is basically TikTok but for porn. You open it and swipe through teasers, backshots, cumshots, quickies, all perverse things. Granted, they are not the first to do it! We’ve seen TikPorn and a handful of other sites doing the exact same thing. But WantMi claims to be the only adult shorts app with a real algorithm that learns what you like and keeps feeding you more. Look, I’m pretty sure other scrollable porn shorts sites have some kind of recommendation system too, but sure, let’s give them the crown for now.
On a completely unrelated note, my keyboard decided to give up on me today. That poor HyperX keyboard had a hell of a run… It wrote over 600 articles with me in god knows how many months. It was there through thick and thin… covered in Dorito dust, spilled water, coffee stains, semen, you name it. The space bar and shift key had permanent deep indents from my furious typing. But… all good things come to an end. And sadly, I had to say goodbye. Well, not really… I bought the exact same model again! Not for nostalgia, but simply because this small beast managed to outlive 90% of the keyboards I’ve bought over the last decade! If that ain’t saying something, then I don’t know what does. Anyway, scrollable short porn clips? Let’s get back to it.
The Perks Of Having An Account
Apparently you’re supposed to create an account on WantMi.com because it’s more fun. That’s literally the entire reason for doing so, and it’s THEIR words, not mine. Well, I took the bait and created one. It asked for a display name, then hit me with the important questions: what kind of content do I want in my feed? This one ain’t limited to single options. You can select multiple things you’d like to see on your feed, or none. Basically, you have options like Solo Women, Straight Couples, Lesbians, Groups, Solo Men, Trans Creators, Gay Couples, etc. I really liked this part. It’s nice attention to detail. I went with Trans Creators, Lesbians, and Solo Women because that’s what I want to see on my feed. After that, it asks for your body type preference, and you can select between slim, average, plus-sized, and curvy. I picked slim and average. BAM! My personalized feed was born. Oh, and one more thing: There’s also an option to add WantMi.com to your home screen like a proper app. In case you are too lazy to open Google or whatever browser you are using.
And while we’re on the topic of things that should be simple but turn into absolute nightmares… One of my laptops, an Acer Nitro with the RTX 3080 to be more exact, had a screen issue. I took it to a certified local repair shop like a normal person, and oh boy… biggest mistake of my fucking life! It’s been there for five months… FIVE FUCKING MONTHS! And the worst part of it all is that they don’t know how to fix it, but they don’t want to admit it! First, they ordered the wrong screen. Yeah, fucking idiots. So I, THE CUSTOMER, had to tell them which one was the correct model… let that sink in for a minute. Then they fucked up the heatsink, which… why? How? Then something else went wrong, and another thing… They practically fucked up my laptop! And now, they’re blaming the backlight! Bro… the backlight was working PERFECTLY FINE before I gave it to you clowns. I’m this close to walking in there and yelling at these idiots! Just give me my damn laptop back or tell me you’re incompetent so I can take it somewhere else. This is exactly why I DIY my way through life, except for this time… and I learned my lesson.
Pushing Content You Actually Want
Back to WantMi.com. I did all the account creation stuff. Now my feed is FULLY optimized! There’s a little bit of everything I selected, but it’s mostly solo women twerking, squeezing their tits, biting their lips, and whispering sweet nothings into the camera. Every now and then a cute softboi trans creator pops up, stroking and gasping, but the dominant shorts are ass and tits. What I love is that most of these short clips have a direct link to the creator’s OnlyFans. Just look at the top left corner… you’ll see it. Even better, these clips were recorded in-app for the sole purpose of pushing creators to the right audience, and in return you get a feed full of people you actually want to see more of. Now here’s the thing: I browsed for about twenty minutes, liked a bunch of posts, refreshed… and suddenly my feed was packed with similar content and the exact creators I showed interest in. I know, it’s nothing fascinating. That’s just how algorithms work! Plus, these guys are really pushing you to install their app and pin it to your homepage. I personally wouldn’t do that, mostly because I don’t want a friend borrowing, snooping around my PC or phone and discovering this porn app there.
On a completely different note… I met a wonderful trans person, and we’re dating now! And yes, He’s a HE, and holy shit… we have so much in common it’s scary! He loves Coheed and Cambria. So do I. He loves Depeche Mode. So do I. He’s also deep into Planescape: Torment, Baldur’s Gate 1, and even Monkey Island… all things I LOVE! We’re literally meant for each other. Like… did this person stalk me, my interests, and my daily schedule just to meet up with me? Or is this the universe throwing me a bone here, giving me a chance at happiness and love? But… there’s one thing that still needs to be confirmed! Does he love Joy Division? If he doesn’t… I’m ending this right there on the spot. I don’t care how perfect everything else is. Love is built on Ian Curtis fanboying, and you can’t tell me otherwise! Or, rather… Love is torn apart on Ian Curtis fanboying… haha… get it? Ok, I’ll stop with the stupid jokes, we got better shit to focus on, right?
Some Optimized Perks
WantMi.com is also optimized as hell! It has an analytics board for creators, tips on how to get more views, growth strategies, all that good stuff. But since we are the VIEWERS, we need to focus on our browsing perks. First of all, all the creators here have passed ID verification, so at least there’s some baseline of real people behind the accounts. None of that overshared bullshit people on Reddit post. And then, your privacy is locked down tight! No public watch history, no one can see what you’re browsing or jerking off to, and no activity feed for other people to peek at. But the best part? They claim there are no AI-generated videos! And after spending some real time browsing… I can confirm it! Not a single weird, glitchy, uncanny AI porn clip has popped up.
At the end of the day, this is just another scrolling-based, short porn-on-demand platform. I love the way it’s optimized, but I don’t really expect to bust a nut browsing here. The main reason this was created is for the creators to promote their teasers and funnel people to their private fan clubs or whatever. Look, it does the job if your job description includes gooning to random hot people who are looking for a gooner. But beyond that? It’s as simple as it gets. You won’t find cooking recipes, fun facts, or all that fluff surrounding TikTok. Just random porn snippets, and a simple way to kill time. If that’s what you’re after, then go ahead! Indulge!
