Machine learning is an incredible thing. From playing video games to trading stocks, A.I. is becoming better and better, and it’s only a matter of time before robots enslave humankind if you ask me. But until Skynet becomes a reality, fuck it, we got fapping to do.
BetterFap.com is a website that integrates machine learning into your porno pursuits, so that you can find content that turns your dick into diamonds without any effort. The more you use Better Fap, the better it can hand-deliver you shit that will make you blow a tsunami load. Do you love to watch one-legged dwarves getting fucked upside down? Well, don’t tell me, tell BetterFap! It’ll try its best to go get some more for you.
BetterFap is a porn site, but to the developers, this is a serious scientific experiment to collect and analyze how people view porn. The site was quietly released three years ago, but a rogue post on Reddit quickly made it popular. BetterFap continues to have a really active Reddit community today, so track down the subreddit if you want to give those fuckers your input.
A bit rough around the edges
Frankly, the site’s main weakness is probably the layout. When you first enter the site, you’ll see some quick tips on how the website functions, followed by a big gallery of different content that the site collected from throughout the internet. Honestly, if you’re horny and just looking to bust a big ass nut, I doubt you’ll have the patience to actually read the quick tips, so I’ll just summarize it for you.
First, you need to rate the content you see so that BetterFap understands what you like. The three main buttons are “Dislike”, “Like”, and “Spark”. As you keep liking certain videos, BetterFap will find more videos similar to it, and if you Dislike certain videos, it will avoid similar videos from showing up on your feed. Pretty simple right? Sparks are similar to “Favorites”, although I think there is some deeper way that the site uses it to figure out what you like and what to show you. Can’t say much more about Sparks at this point.
When you click on a link, you’ll watch the video/picture/livecam, but still be under the Better Fap layout. At the top you’ll have the major buttons including Like, Dislike, Share, Watch Later, and more. Typical social media type shit. Below that is the basic information, like the title, what type of file it is, where it’s from, and hashtags. Below that is the important stuff, which the site calls “Moar”. Under “Moar”, you’ll find a button called “show me similar stuff” which is a great way to, well, find more similar stuff to jerk off to!
Finally, they have mobile support, and I think the site actually looks better on the phone. So if you like to fap on your phone while your wife’s asleep next to you, you may want to check this out.
BetterFap collects content from all over the web, so the content will be varied. The website really doesn’t specialize in any specific thing, and caters to people of all tastes and preferences.
The content is organized by hashtags. The default hashtag is #recommendations, meaning that the content you get is what is recommended based on your history. But you can really use any hashtag you want to find specific types of porn, at which point it basically just becomes a search engine. The search engine is a great way to get started, and as you keep watching and rating different porn, you’ll find your recommendations list getting better and better until you got a page full of shit you wanna blow your jizz to.
Pretty soon you’ll be like a kid in a candy store.
I need to take a moment to talk about the site’s privacy feature. Now like I said before, if your passion is to blow loads to one legged dwarves, well frankly that’s a shameful secret. You can’t be having some site like BetterFap collecting all that fucking data on you, and God fucking knows if the site ever sells that shit along with your identity. Well, don’t worry, because BetterFap has the solution.
When you first enter the site, you are given a code. The code is just a random set of words, like “Ass Monkey Fuck Face”. Everything you watch and rate will be memorized by the website under the code “Ass Monkey Fuck Face”, and that code will be exclusive just to you. Surfing the site in incognito mode and worried your code won’t be saved? Just copy paste the words somewhere, and next time you go to BetterFap, input the code again and start browsing. This way, Better Fap can remember and recommend you all your dwarves, without the site ever knowing who it really is.
This also means you never have to sign up or need an account, although you can do that as well to guarantee your individual identity. Pretty soon, you’ll have an entire page of one-legged dwarves as soon as you enter the site. No judgment from me, baby.
What I Like
It’s the future. Let’s compare this to something like PornHub. With PornHub, you enter the site, put in the usual keywords of things you want to fap to, and then get the same video results that you always get. Then you start digging through it while getting your fap on. It’s cool and it works, but it just isn’t that “smart”.
I like that it gets content from many different sources, including Reddit. This keeps a lot of fresh and varied content flowing through the site, so you won’t be seeing the same old shit over and over. It can also introduce you to great new sources of fap material that you never knew about before.
I also love the privacy that the site gives you. I do not need a motherfucker knowing about my porn habits, believe me. I’d end up on SEVERAL lists.
What I hate
The site is currently in beta, and it shows. Even though the site has come a long way in its 2+ years history, the layout is still kind of clunky, and overall just not that visually appealing. I know it shouldn’t matter, cause the only thing that really matters is the actual content, but fuck it- my job is to review this shit from all angles.
There’s also some bugs, although you won’t run into them unless you’re a loyal user. On the other hand, the development team is super active, and you’ll see a lot of communication between users and the developers on the site’s subreddit. You can tell that the team is very passionate about making this project a big success.
A little confusing
I know the site is all about the science, but don’t skimp on the presentation. A girl can have the softest pussy in the world, but if the pussy hair is a mess, my dick ain’t going in that forest. Similarly, I hope that BetterFap can experiment with different layouts and find something a bit more modern and appealing.
The site is also kind of confusing. It throws a lot of information at you in the beginning, and honestly how much patience does the average man have when his dick is out? Again, the site is really data-focused, and it shows. I’m sure they’ll work out all this shit before their official release though.
Also, my recommendations didn’t have any videos longer than a minute or so. What’s up with that? But the content was good enough that I didn’t really mind, and I can always just go to another site if I want long videos.
This thing shows promise
I think if you stick with it, BetterFap.com can really make your fapping sessions better. They have a really loyal fanbase, and the developers have been working hard on this shit for a long time. Can you imagine trying to figure out how to understand a man’s disgusting sick fucked-up dark sexual needs for two goddamn years? I bet they scrub themselves with bleach every night when they come home.
From my use of it, I thought the coding was well done. I didn’t even really need to develop my profile, because the “find similar things” function was good enough to find plenty of good fap material. The short clips also work well on this platform because you end up browsing a ton of different content, quickly building up the site’s understanding of you.
I gotta wonder though…what the fuck are they planning to do with all that data? Are they going to sell it to the machines in the eventual robot uprising so they can use it to take humanity over?
God help us all.