SecretHostess

If I talk about a Secret Hostess, does that mean she ain’t a secret anymore? I’ve certainly got less of a filter than most dudes when it comes to describing the kinky shit I’ve been getting up to with beautiful women, as you already know if you’re a regular around here. Hell, a lot of you have even watched me bang pornstars on the PornDudeCasting couch! Of course, nobody ever said you have to be like me when it comes to telling the world what you’ve been doing with call girls, doms and sensual masseuses. Go ahead—keep those secrets to yourself!

SecretHostess.com is an international escort directory with listings all over the world. They’ve been around for a couple years and get a couple million visitors a month, which is a good sign for a site like this. It’s much harder to find a good lay on an escort directory without any visitors, let alone babes offering their services. I’ve been accused of being a globetrotting sex pervert, an allegation which I cannot deny, so naturally I was eager to see who’s using the site to slang pussy. Maybe I’ll even get some extracurricular humps in before my next official porn shoot.

Find Yourself a Secret Hostess

I got something of a mixed impression when I first pulled up the front page of SecretHostess. On one hand, the overall presentation feels classy, with a streamlined header and simple SH logo. On the other hand, these fuckers served up some pop-under spam literally as soon as I loaded the front page. A few sponsored links with big images at the top of the page slipped through my adblocker, too, but it was that initial pop-under that really bugged me. If it weren’t for the high traffic, I might have assumed it was a sketchy scam site.

The good news is that, spam aside, the platform seems like it has a lot to offer. For starters, they’ve got listings all around the world. There’s a menu of locations out front, like you find on a lot of escort directories, with top countries including Australia, Canada, New Zealand, UK and USA. The full list is extensive, including places I might not have guessed had a thriving escort scene. Anybody up for a quick bang in Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, or the United Arab Emirates?

Click a country and a menu will unfold, listings a shit ton of cities where you can find a little paid strange. Some countries only have a location or two under their sub-menu, but their Top Countries all have long lists to peruse. There’s also a dropdown menu in the top corner, where they list the cities with the most SecretHostess ads. Melbourne, Montreal, London and Los Angeles all made the cut.

I made my way to the Chicago section, which opened up another spam pop-under along with some more banner ads that my anti-spam plugin missed. Seriously, dudes, you’ll definitely want to use an adblocker while browsing the site, and even that ain’t going to clean up the whole experience. The good news is that I found hundreds of local girls selling their services, which I suspect is the whole reason SecretHostess.com gets away with all that spam and still gets traffic.

Sexy Ladies in My Own Back Yard

If you’re in or near a major metropolitan area, you’ll have your pick of hundreds of local escorts. The spread of sex workers in Chicago unfolded in front of me, around 60 to a page minus all the spam interspersed among the thumbnails of women. There’s a link to View All Escorts in the area at the bottom of the screen, but it’s a massive text-based index of names that ain’t much use to the average john. Like me, you’ll probably want to stick to that main picture menu.

One of the things I liked right away was the wide range of women offering paid hookups and other adult experiences. There are Secret Hostesses who look like the girl next door, and others who look like straight-up pornstars. From ebony BBWs to thick Latinas to skinny white MILFs, plus legal teens, goth chicks, bad girls in fishnets, sultry Asians and fully passable shemale hookers, it looks like there’s a Secret Hostess for every taste. I even spotted a couple cruel-looking dominatrixes who would probably step on your balls while looking absolutely gorgeous.

Looking at the range of chicks and the sheer volume of them, I’m a little disappointed SecretHostess.com doesn’t have much in the way of search and filter options. By default, they put the newest ads at the top, though you can reshuffle the stack by age, dress size, height and views. There’s no checklist of services, incalls and outcalls, or any of the usual options you find on the more full-featured escort directories. I couldn’t even open the search bar, let alone use it to type in my favorite escort keywords.

That leaves the city-based photo listings as your only real option for browsing the Secret Hostesses in your area. It ain’t as lousy as the older sites where everybody hawks their sexual wares via emoji-filled lines of text, but it’s pretty damn lackluster in 2024. Without digging into the profiles, all you get is a tiny thumbnail, age, location and the first few lines of their blurb. I guess it’ll have to do for now.

How I Spent My Weekend

I may be a little bummed about the lack of search options, but I am happy about all the escorts I can choose from around here. It was just a matter of finding the right one. I clicked on a 20-year-old Latina’s photo, which opened up her full profile. SecretHostess lets their Secret Hostesses post a lot of pics, including nudes, so I got some even better peeks of the babe’s tits and ass.

This chick’s available every day of the week, offering $450 incalls and $525 outcalls. She’s also “Open to most fantasy and fetish,” which is what I like to see because I’m an absolute fucking freak. I’m right in her service area, too, so she only requires a three-hour notice, assuming she’s free for a good time.

SecretHostess.com doesn’t make users register an account to see contact info. This is standard on most escort sites, but I’ve seen a few charge for the privilege so I have to mention it. You don’t have to sacrifice an email address and invite the spam that comes with it. Honestly, you’ll get enough spam just browsing the damn site! I typed the escort’s digits into my phone, and I may hit her up after I finish this review.

Over the last couple years, more and more escort directories are offering a customer review section along with their ads. Unfortunately, SecretHostess just doesn’t have this feature built in yet. It’s a lame setup in a world where you can read reviews of damn near anything on damn near any website where you might be spending money. You’ve always got to proceed wisely and use your brain so you don’t get ripped off, especially in this business, and the lack of reviews means you’ll have to work a little harder in that respect. It’s arguably par for the course, but things have been improving elsewhere in the escort scene. Get with the times, SecretHostess!

I checked out another escort, this one featuring a thick-assed black chick who calls herself “the hottest creamer and squirter on premium Snapchat.” Her blurb is a lot more explicit than the last girl, and she’s got a few social media links so I can gawk at her some more before I make my final decision. It ain’t as good as a review section, but at least I can jack off to the stuff if I don’t end up hiring her for the night.

SecretHostess.com has some flaws that really put them at a disadvantage compared to some of the other escort directories, namely the lack of search options and reviews, plus all the damn spam you’ll see along the way. They do, however, have quite a spread of local escorts in major cities around the world, which is why they’re still kicking despite the deficits. If you don’t mind some ads and the limited filter options, it couldn’t hurt to see who’s using the platform in your area.