You know those days when you don’t feel so adventurous with your porn preferences and just want to see whatever pops up first? I sure know I’ve felt that way a few times in my life after a hard day’s work. I don’t have the time to browse the endless categories which then lead me to an even bigger clusterf**k of videos. I want something that’s straightforward, something that will just throw porn at my face until I completely steam out and can’t go any further. I'm a sadist, what can I say...
Well, it seems that I’ve found just the site for that. Simply called DTVideo.com, even the name is short and sweet. The first thing you’ll notice about the site is the supply of porn right there on the homepage. Getting to a video is as easy as simply clicking on one at random. They aren’t categorized, they’re simply put onto a huge pile, a porn pile. A pile so big it forms a mountain, and you’re trying to conquer it and get to the top by beating your meat.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that the number of videos on this site will blow your freaking mind. You probably didn’t notice this at first glance, but taking a look at the page navigation bar, you’ll notice that the pages are numbered. So how many pages are there? Almost 5300. And with about 200 videos per page, well, you do the math. Now, this, unfortunately, renders the page navigation system absolutely useless, since you can really only browse pages from the beginning and the end, and skipping through pages is slow as a snail in glue, and we’re not here to waste time. We’re here to watch some porn as quickly as possible so we won’t be going to page 1556 to find that perfect video. Damn, if I wanted to click endlessly, I’d just download Clicker Heroes on Steam.
You’re probably wondering: what’s the use of having so many videos if I can’t even reach 97% of them? Well, that’s where the recommended category system comes into place. At the top of the page, there are some recommended categories that are based on what people are generally searching for the most. This is perfect, it’s an easy way to go about browsing some buried gems in the desired category... is what I would say if I was a boring vanilla conformist loser who couldn’t form his own opinion on which porn category he likes and has to rely on trends to guide his taste. I’ve seen too many “father & daughter” videos for them to be a spectacle for me. Alright, I’ll give credit where credit is due, we’re looking for a speedy way to get to the best video possible, so in a way, these categories can be quite useful.
However, if you’d like to be a bit more specific about what you’re looking for, right above the categories is a search bar where you can enter some keywords and hope for the best. Most of the time, you’ll find videos that are related to what you’re searching for, with a few mislabeled outliers that have nothing to do with what you’re looking for. Still, the process is fast, and you’ll be clicking on a video in no time, if you haven’t so far with all the thumbnails thrown at your face. Speaking of thumbnails, they’re nice and large, you can hover over them to get snippets of the video, and generally speaking, they represent the video quite well.
During my time on the site I’ve tested out the functionality of the site and I can say with confidence that most of the videos opened without any issues. None of them are hidden behind paywalls, and only a few of them didn’t want to open at first try, but later did once I refreshed the page. Free, full-length porn videos that aren’t hidden behind a paywall? And they even work? Is this heaven? Did I finally die?
Now I should also mention that I quite like the minimalistic design of the site even though the minimalism diminishes some of the functionality that some bigger sites offer. There aren’t any distractions, you’re free to browse the site at your own leisure. One thing I DIDN’T like is the fact that every link you click on opens a new tab. I’m not looking to kill my computer with the endless RAM that these tabs will take up. I never get why porn sites are so adamant to open up their pages in new tabs every time you click on them. Especially sites like this one where you’re only looking to watch one or two videos tops before moving on with your day.
This is a minor inconvenience at the end of the day, and I’m happy to say that I’m satisfied with the selection of videos that are offered on DTVideo.com. You can find videos in HD as well as full-length videos (as opposed to some bigger sites where they usually cut out the best parts out so that they force you to subscribe to the premium video website). There’s also a selection of homemade, amateur videos, which come with their usual wonders of low-res porn perfection. What else do you want?