SheGods

She Gods! As a dude who looks at porn all the livelong day, I’ve seen some weird shit. The site I’ll be looking at today is one of the strangest things I’ve seen all week. It’s not because of all the beautiful women thrusting their hard penises into each other, or the pretty girls getting their cocks sucked. Nah, you can find tranny porn on a lot of the bigger tube sites these days. She Gods is weird because it looks like a garbage website from 1994, but still manages to get a couple of million hits a month.

There’s obviously something to it. Internet masturbators are a fickle bunch, eager to jerk our way right on over to the next best thing. A site that looks like this should have died years ago. What is it I’m missing, besides a basic appreciation for chicks with dicks?

Welcome to the Future of the Past, Plus Dicks

The SheGods.com domain has been online since 2004, and doesn’t look it’s been updated since then. It’s got a piss-yellow background, a logo assembled from leftover clip art, and the graphics linking to different parts of the site look to be stolen from an even more ancient GeoCities personal webpage. The front page doesn’t scale to your screen size and isn’t even mobile-friendly; loading this site on a phone will send you straight to the Tubes section.

I’ve got a pretty good idea what I’ll find if I click Pictures, but it’s not immediately clear what the difference is between the Tubes page or the Videos page. The front page, with its big selection of tranny porn thumbnails, seems to be arranged like a modern tube site. Given the old-timey layout, it’s possible that SheGods has separate Videos and Tubes because they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.

The screengrabs lined up on the top part of the page are Today’s Hottest Videos. During my visit, these included a tranny in a bikini with another’s tranny’s dick in her ass, a whore in fishnets getting her boner sucked, and a ladyboy bent over and fucked by the pool in front of half a dozen masturbating shemales.

If this was a modern site, the girls stroking their own cocks or fucking men in the ass would move when you hover your mouse over, giving you a preview of the action within. Here, the low-res images don’t do anything. They’re not labeled with any info, either, except the word “movie.” Hey, great, now I won’t get confused and think one of these dozens of movies grouped together is something other than a movie.

Pretty Faces Attached to Giant Cocks

The look of SheGods is bad enough that I’d probably leave immediately, even if I was into trannies. A layout this bad usually means the content is shit, the page is hard to use, or both. I pressed on, though, because I feel that duty to my fellow perverts. I may not want a woman’s hard erection prodding softly before penetrating my butthole, but I don’t want you to settle for lackluster pornography websites. What can I say?

My thinking was that if I have to watch a TS video, she should at least have a pretty face and nice body. Big tits are always a plus. I need various stimuli to distract me from the raging lady-cock. The girl in the first thumbnail on the front page fit the bill. I couldn’t even see a peen in the thumbnail.

The video page, again, looks outdated as all bloody fuck. I can barely believe SheGods was established in 2004. It looks like some ‘90s bullshit. I’m surprised they have basic social media features baked in, since that’s a modern porn thing. It’s only rating and favoriting, no commenting, but it’s way more than I expected.

The video is titled Naughty Transbabe Skye Deepthroats Asian Stud Hard Cock. It doesn’t roll off the tongue, but I get it—they want those search results when people type “Asian Cock” into the search bar. I was half-expecting a pirated scene on an Oload player, but SheGods has their own, very basic player. I can’t change the quality or speed, but there is a free download button.

The clip starts with this hot exotic bitch with full cocksucking lips lifting up her shirt to expose some flawless titties. Within seconds, she’s rubbing herself through her panties. I got a little carried away and started servicing myself and then oh my fucking god, out comes the hot bitch’s cock. She gets hard while I go soft.

It was good while it lasted, I guess. I’m guessing if you’re reading this review, you’ll probably have a completely different reaction to the salad tossing and girl-dick riding than I did.

The 6-minute clip is a sample from Tgirlidolz. SheGods uses the “free sample” porn tube style. The clips are mostly going to be fairly short scenes, and many of them chopped up into little montages. They’re meant to entice you back to their source sites, like TransSensuals, TransPorn, and TSRoadTrip, where you’ll have to pay to watch longer versions.

The site supposedly runs on user uploads, including yours. I clicked my way to the profile of the Transbabe Skye video’s uploader, and he’s got a bunch of other paysite samples. Maybe that’s just what he’s into, but I think it’s much more likely to be a SheGods account run by SheGods. Whatever, though. Free porn is free porn.

As with any site that allows user uploads, the Categories and Tags are only as good as the person typing them in (or not typing them in). Skye’s clip is tagged with Anal, Bareback, and Blowjob, which will help perverts find it and beat off to it. I’m not sure the Shemale, Tranny, or Transexual tags are anything more than noise, though, since they’ll pull up way more videos than you’d want to sift through.

Are These Tubes or Videos?

A few of the front-page thumbnails are boobytrapped, sending you to tranny paysites where you’ll have to pay to play. I’d be more upset if any of their other spam made it by my ad-blocker, but I imagine updating their ads would cost more than the zero-dollar budget it looks like they’ve set aside for upgrades.

The rest of the thumbnails, the ones that actually have tranny videos to watch on the site, lead to video pages on Tube.SheGods.com. It’s the same subdomain the Tubes link at the top leads to. The Videos link leads to the page I’m already on, SheGods.com. As far as I can tell, there’s absolutely no reason for this except to make navigation slightly confusing. It’s probably a half-implemented upgrade, because they don’t care about your user experience.

No explanation is required for the Pictures area, at least. You’ll actually be disappointed if you want to beat off to ladyboy pics. There’s only a page of galleries, and that’s counting the Bonus Galleries section. It’s like if you ordered a burger, got half a patty with no bun, and then they told you the free French fry was a bonus. Gee, thanks.

It’s pretty obvious that the Tubes area is the real meat of the site. It looks and works more like the tube site SheGods wants to be than the rest of the site. Why they drop you off somewhere else and dance around the Tubes is beyond me. It’s not just bad design, it’s stupid.

The thing is, it’s a pretty solid collection as far as free tubes go, especially one specializing in something as specific as women and their penises. According to the stat box on the side of Tubes page, they’ve got more than 80k videos right now. Sure, they’re mostly sample clips, but that’s a ton of free fuck flicks.

I’m sure the whole site’s a little frustrating if you’re just trying to rub one out to shemales getting it on. You can consider that the price of entry to SheGods. It’s an alright stash of TS porn, you’ll just have to suffer through the terrible design. How much is your time worth? Unless you’re eating dick for spare change behind the gas station, I’m guessing it’s worth more than this.