Hot Porn

Who’s up for some Hot Porn Today? That’s a rhetorical question, obviously, since you probably wouldn’t be here otherwise. Since I started the site nearly a decade ago, ThePornDude has grown to become the most popular and most respected directory of online adult entertainment in the world. I get millions of visits a day from perverts looking to find their preferred style of fap fodder, and my own status as a world-renown pornography scholar has allowed me to expand my empire into related ventures. When I’m not reviewing porn sites here, I’m banging pornstars over at PornDudeCasting, gaming with one hand for BestPornGames, and sharing my smut-peddling expertise at PornWebmasters.

I have to wonder if the folks who run this next site have been studying PornWebmasters, because it sure looks like they took a few cues from yours truly. Then again, maybe they just straight-up copied my site. HotPorn.Today ranks and reviews porn sites in a couple dozen different categories, which sounds really fucking familiar, doesn’t it? Their monthly traffic is a fraction of what I get on the daily, which is honestly still impressive when you compare them to most of the porno ghost towns out there. It was enough to catch my attention, so let’s see how they measure up to the original.

Kind of Like ThePornDude, Except…

The front page of HotPorn Today looks a hell of a lot like mine at a glance. Most of the page is boxed off into categories like Top Sex Games, Live Sex Cams and Premium Porn Sites, each with its own ranked list of sites in the genre. Look a little bit closer, though, and it starts to feel like you bought ThePornDude on Wish. The design is a little crustier, without all the little touches I add to pretty up the joint. Notably, they’re also missing a key element that I consider one my main gimmicks: a hilarious, over-the-top porn mascot.

People sometimes get confused about whether or not I’m a real person, but ultimately, it doesn’t really matter. I bring style, personality and humor to the site, which goes a long way in setting it apart from the stale porn lists out there. The writing on HotPorn ain’t as dry and boring as some of the other joints, but it ain’t all that fun, either. Swearing is great, but it’s no substitute for jokes.

The blurb at the bottom of their front page is a great example of what I’m talking about. Just like the wall of text I’ve got below my lists, they lay out their goals and motivation for starting the site. It reads like somebody paraphrased me but forgot to say anything funny. I understand that wit doesn’t come naturally to just everybody, which is why I recommend hiring a writer who bangs out quotable content if you can’t do it yourself.

I know this probably sounds a lot like I’m just trying to toot my own horn, but branding is a vital tool in any webmaster’s arsenal. HotPorn.Today is a very generic title for a site, so they’re not going to stick in anyone’s brain just based on name alone. If they had a fun mascot, a catchy slogan or a decent logo, they’d have a better chance at achieving brand recognition. This is ain’t sour grapes—it's Marketing 101, folks.

Lists of Things, That’s for Sure

HotPorn Today’s reviews and rankings are broken down into a couple dozen different categories of adult websites. For the most part, they’re the same categories I list here at ThePornDude. As a much newer site than my own, the creators haven’t had as much time to fap test the whole internet, so they’ve got considerably fewer categories and fewer sites per category than I do. I’ve got reviews of 131 Free Porn Tube Sites, for example, while they’re only up to 86. They list one Premium Hentai site, I’ve got 18. I’ve ranked and reviewed 21 Premium Lesbian paysites for their half dozen. They’ve got a handful of gay sites listed, while I’ve opted to start a whole separate review site, MyGaySites.

Hey, I get it. It takes time to grow these things, but that still gives me the edge. My rankings are going to be more accurate simply because I’m working with a larger pool, and that means you’re also going to have quick access to more of your preferred content here. I expect their menu of categories to expand as they grow, but as of this writing, they don’t yet have sections devoted to Free OnlyFans Porn Sites and TikTok Porn Sites. You want to know who does?

For what it’s worth, I do appreciate that HotPorn’s rankings seem to be their own. I see a ton of ripoffs and clones of my own site, and a lot of them just straight-up copy my rankings. I know I’m the go-to guy on the internet when it comes to seeking out smut, but porno is still a subjective thing. I’m sure the creators of HotPorn.Today have their reasons for ranking AnyPorn as their top free tube and RealityKings as their top paysite. (I rank them as #75 and #2, respectively.)

And just what are those reasons, exactly? Well, it should be spelled out in the reviews, right? With that in mind, I checked out their writeup of AnyPorn. It’s a 500-word description of some of the site’s most popular categories, including dark-haired babes, blonde girls, and slutty teens. Their review of RealityKings is a similarly styled list of the site’s content, plus some pricing info.

Reviews should absolutely list these types of technical details. Crucially, though, I felt like they lacked a personal touch. I’m not even talk about the smart-ass personality I bring to my reviews, but I’d really just like to hear what makes a site better or worse than another. A description by itself is not really a review. A good review, like this one, contains some description and some editorializing on the content. Are you taking notes, HotPorn?

At Least They Said I Look Cool

Naturally, the first thing I did when I pulled up HotPorn.Today was look to see if they had a review of ThePornDude. I held off on mentioning it until now, because my head is already huge. That’s how the costume designer made me. On their list of Best Porn Lists, I currently rank… number four? What the fuck?

I’ve got four out of five hearts on HotPorn Today, but again, their review isn’t much more than a description. The only opinion I see is a positive one, though: “As for benefits – ‘Porn Dude’ has no ads and looks quite cool.” Why, thank you! That is what I strive for.

As far as PornDude clones go, HotPorn is far from the worst. Hell, I’ve seen sites that copy the entire fucking thing, including all my graphics and reviews, putting their own affiliate links in place of mine. HotPorn.Today tries at least a little bit to come up with something different. The thing is, they aren’t that great at it.

I ain’t even mad. I’ve still got the traffic, and perverts still know my face. At this point in the game, HotPorn really isn’t even competition. I’m comfortable enough in my position as number one that I’m willing to give them tips to improve, like adding a mascot or some more personality to the reviews. Shit, I encourage anybody to start their own porn list if they think they can do a better job than me. I even list Adult Link Directory Scripts at PornWebmasters, which is exactly what you need to start a site like this.

HotPorn.Today ain’t the worst site in the world. It ain’t even the worst porn directory on the internet. That said, it’s kind of hard to recommend when I’ve got a better one right here. Even if you don’t read any of my reviews or give a shit about all the pictures of me, ThePornDude is a bigger, deeper index of all the best smut online. Maybe if HotPorn’s creators work their asses off for a decade, they can build something as impressive as this. Until then, it may as well be some random dude’s personal list of masturbatory links. If you’ve got the same exact sexual tastes as him, great. If not, you know where I’ll be.