Escort-Club

If you’re looking for an Escort Club, how about one using the description as their name? It’s kind of like the way I’m a pornography expert who had his legal name changed to The Porn Dude, though calling something sweet doesn’t necessarily make it so. The thing is, this ain’t some random website that picked a good title. No, this is an agency that’s been in the business for over a decade. If you’re in London and you’re not the type to shy away from buying a little fun, there’s a damn good chance you’ve already heard of them.

If you’re not in London, well, perhaps you’d be better off with another one of the Escort Sites I’ve got ranked and reviewed here at ThePornDude. Escort-Club.com is the online home of the titular club, a high-class agency with female escorts all over London. Whether you’re looking for an in-call or an out-call, a blonde or a brunette, the GFE or just something filthy, they’ve got you covered. I’d like to get into some sexual tomfoolery tonight, and I think I might have better odds here than on Tinder. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

Hundreds of Beauties Across the Big Smoke

At a glance, I really thought Escort-Club was just another classified ad site where independent babes could hawk their wares. The site has a more polished presentation than most of them, but the overall design will be familiar to anybody who’s ever visited one of those types of directories. You’re greeted out front by row after row of women you can potentially meet tonight.

The sheer volume of babes is one of the reasons I thought this was an everyone-invited escort site. As of this writing, they’ve got over 150 gals to choose from in just about every shape, size and color you could imagine. They’ve got a dropdown menu of Appearance tags like Blonde, Tall, Tattooed and Shaved to narrow down the selection to your ideal broads. I tapped the Curvy button and Escort Club offered up dozens of chicks with the kind of voluptuous T&A I’m in the mood for.

There’s also a menu of Nationalities to choose from. I was really curious about the breakdown here, so I took a closer look. There are a couple dozen filed under Brazilian and Latin, respectively, while most of the other categories only have a handful each. You’ve also got your pick of four Asians, eight Russians, and nine with the vague European tag. Good thing I speak European fluently! Cheers, bloke, I’m bloody gobsmacked.

Another menu at Escort-Club has London divvied up into dozens of districts and towns, and broadly into four corners and Central London. That’s much better coverage than your average agency, and again, feels like a general listing site in its scope. If you don’t feel like traveling far tonight, see if you can find somebody right down the street. I found 19 escorts in Cricklewood, 21 in Highbury, and 60 available around Dulwich.

So You’re Saying These Chicks Are Legit?

So much of the Escort-Club.com website felt like a non-agency escort directory that I had to learn about the company itself. They honestly don’t provide a ton of info about their background other than saying they’ve been around for more than a decade, but they do provide a lot of other useful details. For one thing, you’ll be booking your incalls or outcalls through them rather than directly with your escorts. There’s a form you can use on the website, or you can hit them up via WhatsApp, Telegram or email. They promise they’re available 24/7.

There are plenty of big advantages to using Escort Club over some phone number you found scrawled in a restroom stall somewhere. For one thing, you can see pics of the women first. Another massive perk here is that they’ve got a rigorous verification and health-screening process. You don’t have to just take somebody’s word for it.

The whole thing takes a lot of the risk and a lot of the stress out of the process. You’ve still got to do your due diligence in this business, but it’s so much safer here than elsewhere. They start by making sure the gals are over 18, then do a criminal record check to make sure they ain’t the type to rob a motherfucker after he asks to be tied up and stepped on in stripper heels. The record check ain’t some bullshit half-measure they invented, but a full-on, legit Disclosure and Barring Service.

The health-screening is another no-bullshit process. They’ve partnered with a couple reputable clinics in London, including London Doctors Clinic and Better2Know. New escorts don’t even get posted on the site until their tests come back negative, and they’ve got to reup their paperwork every three months. It’s not quite as often as the two-week standard we have in the porno industry, but it's a hell of a better guarantee than you’re going to get from some rando selling pussy on Facebook.

And the Listings Are Nasty, Too

As a globe-trotting pornography reviewer, it’s always interesting to see how escort sites operate in different parts of the world. These platforms almost always exist in a legal gray area, and so many of them take a hilarious approach to keep thing them semi-SFW. It’s common to keep the visuals relatively wholesome and refer to all the sex acts in secret code. I’ll take a BLT from a BRB selling LMAO tonight.

Escort-Club.com carries explicit listings, both in terms of visuals and descriptions of what’s available. The photos and videos ain’t quite as filthy as you find on some American sites, but I wouldn’t call any of these women fully clothed. The photography’s fucking fantastic, too. Everything looks professionally shot, so it feels less like flicking through Instagram and more like browsing a porn site where you can actually fuck the starlets.

Services and fetishes are listed plain as day, and they’ve even got some menus at the top of the screen for skipping right to the women providing your service of choice. Looking for rimming, footjobs, spanking or golden showers? A lot of the beautiful women working for Escort Club seem to be down for damn near whatever, provided you’re willing to pay for it.

Speaking of payment, I appreciate how prices are also listed very clearly. I found a 20-year-old blonde Brazilian offering face sitting out of Mayfair, with rates starting at 375£ for an hour. It doesn’t say whether that’s for incall or outcall, both of which she does, but it won’t be hard to find out. I think I want the GFE and some deepthroating, too, and it says she’s down.

Honestly, the BDSM cosplay pics pretty much sold me on this chick as soon as I saw her little gallery, but I found even more incentive as I scrolled down the page. Escort Club customers can leave their own ratings and reviews, and this chick’s got nothing but five-star writeups. Reviews have become one of the big features I look for on any escort site, because really, what kind of moron buys anything online these days without reading a review? I mean, shit, that’s why you’re here in the first place!

One thing I’d like to see integrated a little better at Escort-Club is OnlyFans links. They’ve got the social porn platform listed in their Other menu, which brings up escorts who are also active on the site. I couldn’t find any actual direct OF links, though. Speaking as a guy who hits up pornstars over the internet, asking them if they’d like to come shoot movies for PornDudeCasting, I know that type of visual stimulation can go a long way in making you want to hire somebody.

Escort-Club.com has such a fantastic range of elite call girls around London that it can hold its own against the non-agency directories, while also offering some massive benefits over those typical lists of classified ads. The more than 150 women here have all had their ages verified, their criminal backgrounds checked, and their health screened, taking a hell of a lot of stress out of the game. If you’re in the area and looking for a safer bet than the average escort site, give these babes a look and see if anybody catches your attention.