Escort Babylon

Escort Babylon greets first-time visitors with a landing page straight out of 1996, though the domain wasn’t registered for nearly another twenty years. The low-fi presentation is an odd site in the 21st century, a straight-up blast from the past holding strong even as futuristic VR paysites and AI porn generators pop up left and right across the internet. Honestly, that ugly front page might have turned me off entirely if I didn’t know how popular this joint was. With around 25 million visits a month, it sure seems like people must be getting laid around here.

If you’ve seen my work at PornDudeCasting, you know I don’t actually have much trouble getting laid. That said, I never turn down an opportunity for some action. That’s why I was so eager to see who was listed on EscortBabylon.net, a wildly popular escort directory. Click the link to follow along at home as I take a little tour, or to start your own search for this evening’s entertainment.

Welcome to Escort Babylon

Beneath the outdated graphics, the front page of EscortBabylon actually shares a feature with pretty much every modern escort site out there: you start your search by choosing your location. They’ve got listings in Canada, the US, Europe and Oceana. We here in the states rarely use the term Oceana, so I had to unfold the menu to find out they were talking about Australia and New Zealand. The menu breaks down each location into states or provinces, then further into individual cities, but you can just type your location into the search bar to save yourself a few taps.

As I was dialing in my whereabouts, I couldn’t help but notice a minor flaw in the setup. I’m in the Chicago suburbs today, and frankly I’m used to driving around for things. I really wish there was a distance filter so I could set a central location and how far I was willing to travel, but instead I’ll have to sift through individual city listings.

Once I hit the Chicago page, my spirits brightened, because I really liked what I found. If you’re in a major metropolitan area, you’ll probably have hundreds of local escorts to choose from. The picture menu of Chicago chicks stretched on and on, seemingly forever, though I stopped scrolling when I reached ads that were more than a month old. If you’ve played this game before, you know the recent posts are always your best bet.

The default view shows escorts with the most recent user reviews. I’m whipping up this review on a Wednesday afternoon, and only two Chicago escorts have been reviewed today. I was a little confused at first, thinking EscortBabylon was set up like every other platform with the newest posts first. Turns out, you have to click the Current button to reshuffle the stack if that’s what you’re looking for.

There’s a ton of activity on Escort Babylon, which makes sense when they get nearly a million visitors a day. In big cities, you should see a handful of fresh reviews and a whole shitload of current ads every day. It looks like a lot of women are logging in on the daily just to post the same ad again, which is fine. They’re just letting you know they’re still around, and trying to get that top slot right when you’re browsing the site.

Gawk at Some Free Nudes While You’re at It

I like how each city on EscortBabylon.net gets its own picture menu of women. They’ve kept clutter to a minimum, so you’ll be judging based on appearances to begin with. Despite what people like to say, let’s face it, we all judge a book by its cover before we look at the pages inside. I do wish Escort Babylon included some search filters, though, so you could dial in preferences for things like height, hair color, ethnicity and body type.

I clicked through to see the most recently reviewed Chicago escort, a 28-year-old babe listing herself as a “Blonde Blue Eyed Curvy Dream!” She’s got a little blurb at the top of her post that mentions her OnlyFans, and oh my god, what a spread of visuals! The platform lets escorts post explicit pics and videos, which amounts to free porn for the cheapskates out there. This chick looks absolutely stunning in her birthday suit, and the video she posted demonstrates her jiggle in a way that has me eager to hit her up.

After taking a peek at the curvy girl, I checked the most recently posted Chicago ad, featuring a sexy ebony chick with a nice spread of explicit pics. Her ad gets even deeper into the nitty gritty of what she’s down for, and how much it’ll cost you. The first gal I clicked on only had one review, but this escort is a lot more popular. As of this writing, she’s got a whopping 64 reviews on EscortBabylon.

You can even sort the local listings by Popularity, which puts the women with the most reviews at the top of the list. Chicago’s most popular working girl on EscortBabylon.net is a raven-haired hottie who’s willing to do all three holes for just under two hundo. With prices like that, I can see why she has more than 300 reviews. EscortBabylon doesn’t make users register an account to see contact info, so now I’m wondering which of these babes I should try to get with tonight.

User Reviews with a Big Catch

I’ve mentioned it a few times in this writeup so far, but now it’s time to talk about one of EscortBabylon.net’s biggest and best gimmicks: they let users leave their own escort reviews. It’s kind of wild that a standard ecommerce feature is such a big gimmick, but escort sites ain’t exactly mainstream. Escort reviews are common on the better directories nowadays, but Escort Babylon has been ahead of the curve in this respect.

There is a big, ugly catch, though, and one I’ve never seen anywhere else. I think reviews are a big fucking deal, which is why I always mention them in my reviews, and why escort directories without them getting lower rankings here at ThePornDude. You’d think a platform would want to lure in more users by offering everyone access to something they want, but nah, it’s strictly quid pro quo around here: users can’t read reviews until they leave one of their own.

Look, I get it. Depending on where you live, hiring an escort ain’t as squeaky clean as buying a sandwich. It makes sense to start a somewhat exclusive club and keep some secrets amongst ourselves. That fucks over the newcomer, though, who might want some guidance for their first time in. I don’t know, man, but it feels like gatekeeping to me. It also makes me question the accuracy of the reviews, because some people are probably going to post fake ones for access to the real ones.

I’ve got my fingers crossed that EscortBabylon.net opens up review access to everyone, because then it’ll be an even better site. The platform does have some minor flaws compared to some of the more full-featured, modern escort directories, but what they lack in search filters they make up for in women. Their high traffic and longstanding reputation are their biggest assets here, because they ensure a nice, big selection of active local women in pretty much any major city. It ain’t the best interface in this day and age, but man, get a load of all those babes!