RubRankings

I initially thought RubRankings was going to be another cheap ripoff of ThePornDude, where some boring dude swears a lot while giving his joke-free opinions on free tubes, paysites, and other joints he's rubbed one out to. I was way the fuck off, but can you blame me? I see so many of those guys popping up nowadays that I’m always on guard, even when all that’s slipping into my DMs is an opportunity to get touched tonight. Sorry for the false alarm.

In actuality, RubRankings.com is a body rub and Nuru massage directory. They’re a newer site, living on a domain just registered a few months ago, but that hasn’t stopped them from catching the attention of erotic massage fans like myself. All a directory like this really needs to be useful is a good selection of nimble-handed women offering their services in your area, so let’s see who’s on the list, and what other bells and whistles RubRankings has to offer.

Erotic Rubdowns? In My Neighborhood?

I’ve seen a number of newer rubdown directories popping up with a bare minimum aesthetic, sometimes offering nothing but a plain-text title and a search bar on the front page. Rub Rankings puts a bit more sexiness into the presentation. For one thing, there’s a big header photo of female hands working on a dude’s back. It ain’t an explicitly erotic image, but combined with the classy purple-on-black color scheme, they definitely set a tone. The general aesthetic would feel right on a strip club website, erotic photo archive or even a mid-tier paysite, and it makes me feel like I’ve come to the right place.

There’s a View Cities button at the top of the front page, where most of you are going to jump right into the local listings. I like how they’ve taken a lot of time, effort, and landing page real estate to court body rub providers. They list some of their major perks for masseuses right there on the front page.

I know most of you will be reading this from a consumer perspective, but it’s worth noting the benefits for the providers. Ultimately, the value you’re going to get out of the site is going to depend a lot on how well they’re able to entice listings; a directory like this ain’t worth a damn without them. Rub Rankings says they’re “Built For Providers! By Providers!” They’ve got some solid protections for providers, so maybe they ain’t bullshitting.

The first ad is free to place, the rest are ten bucks, and they use anonymous payment methods like Bitcoin. They also host their site in countries with strong data privacy to protect providers, and offer permanent ad deletion by request at any time. Honestly, I can see good sides and bad sides to the setup. I certainly appreciate the extra protection and how much it'll help encourage fresh ads, but I do worry that the system might encourage scammers in an industry already rife with them.

RubRankings.com is a newer site, which may be why their documentation is a bit lacking. I couldn’t find any information about provider verification, so I have to assume they don’t offer any. There’s some typical legalese provided, and a busted Terms link in the footer that leads nowhere. On a similar note, I ran into some odd quirks with the design where I had to highlight the whole page to read anything. Hopefully they iron these issues out as the site matures.

How to Find an Erotic Masseuse

After poking around a bit, it was time to get into the real meat of Rub Rankings: the rub artists themselves. I finally clicked that View Cities button and found that they have listings in cities across the USA. It’s a pretty exhaustive list, broken down by state. Chicago’s the closest city to me in today’s travels as a professional masturbator and pornstar, so that’s where I started my search.

The good news is that, despite being a pretty new directory, there’s already a fair amount of action; a dozen new Chicago ads have already been placed today. If you live in or near a major city, you’re going to see fresh provider ads posted every day. New ads are more important than old ads, because the women are a hell of a lot more likely to be active and available. Just for shits and giggles, I clicked my way to the end of the list. It only goes back a couple months now, so I feel like my odds are reasonably strong even with one of the “older” listings here.

I do wish they let you search by distance, instead of just forcing you to choose a city. That would give you a bigger selection, based on how far you were willing to travel to have a lady lay her hands on you in a familiar way. I’m lucky to be close to a major metropolitan area, but a distance filter would be especially useful for those Rub Rankings users out in the sticks.

They don’t have any filters for dialing in your favorite body types, ethnicities or services, but I did find the search bar useful for digging into the local listings. Searches for BBW, BBJ, Russian and GFE brought me back plenty of options for tonight’s festivities. It looks like sensual and Nuru massages are on the menu, as is a whole lot of other adult tomfoolery.

Rankings the Rubs of Rub Rankings

The spread for any city on RubRankings.com is listed in a helpful picture menu with locations and post dates. I clicked on the very latest Chicago ad, a thick, pretty blonde girl in matching bra and panties. The site lets providers post a lot of pics, which is massively helpful in giving you a peek at what you’ll be paying for.

Here’s a little tip I always use on sites like this: right-click on a pic and do an image search. Sometimes scam posts will be peppered with publicly available social media selfies and stock images. In this case, I only found the babe’s images on other massage and escort sites.

RubRankings doesn’t have a bunch of different fields for providers to fill in with their availability, prices, stats and other info. Instead, they’re able to list whatever they want in a big blurb alongside the pics. This chick’s got a shower available, various massage techniques, and says, “Pick your fantasy, there is plenty to choose from.”

There’s no registration necessary to use the site. That means everything posted is visible, including contact details, explicit service listings and prices. Some women don’t list prices, but blondie here is asking two hundo for a half hour, or $400 for a 90-minute VIP session. It might be time to splurge, because she’s fucking beautiful.

One of the perks listed on the Why RubRankings page is that you can “Read and leave reviews left by other users.” Unfortunately, I didn’t actually see any user reviews listed during my visit today. That’s a common issue on these types of sites, especially the newer ones still building their userbases. That said, the feature is one of the big things I look for whenever I review an erotic massage site or escort directory. Hopefully, this is another area where the site will improve as it continues to grow and gain popularity.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll be the user to post the first review about this here party girl. As I entered her digits into my phone, I started thinking about all the fun I was going to have and all the tension I was going to release. I’m going to hit her up just as soon as I wrap this up, so let’s hope she ain’t already all booked up tonight.

RubRankings.com may be one of the newer massage directories out there, but the site’s already got a sexy, growing selection of providers across the country. I attribute this in part to the classy presentation and boosted privacy protections offered, and I’m eager to see those reviews coming into play soon. It doesn’t cost anything to use and there’s no registration required, so it wouldn’t hurt to see whose offering their skills and services near you.