If you are anything like me, then you also get sick just sitting on your computer, fapping all day. There’s only so long that masturbation can sustain you during a dry spell. A man has needs, needs that porn sometimes just can’t satisfy. Needs that no amount of pocket pussies or special lubricants can ever come close to relieving. Sometimes you just need the real thing.
Okay, so you’ve decided that you’ve reached the point of no return. Your horniness levels are through the roof, and only one thing is going to solve it: some good ol’ fashioned, real life pussy. But maybe you don’t have the time to go out to the bars and try your luck. Or maybe you’re sick and tired of playing the game of online dating with Tinder or OkCupid (sometimes trying to fuck on dating apps can require the same level of time and effort as trying to go out and get laid anyway).
Well, if that’s the case, lucky for you, you can skip the games and get some pussy within the hour. That’s why God created escorts. So long as you have a couple hundred bucks (and don’t mind the legal risk) you can get laid almost instantaneously. Just call up an escort and have her service you to fulfill your every desire.
But now you’re faced with another challenge to overcome. With Backpage shut down, and Craigslist filled with nothing but scams, frauds, and police sting operations, how the fuck does one even go about finding an escort? Don’t give up quite yet, young padawan, just hop over to skipthegames.com to easily find escorts in your city.
Skip the Games and Get Some Tonight
The homepage of Skip the Games is delightfully sparse and easy to navigate. With just a white background, a picture of a condom in a red velvet jewelry box, a search bar, and a list of regions and top cities to choose from, you can start your escort search with little to no delay. It really is as simple as the slogan that they have written at the top of the page indicates: “Skip the games. Get satisfaction.” Easy as ABC, 123…badda-bing, badda-boom.
Just go to the search bar and start filling in your information. First, select whether you are a man, woman, or a couple and what you are looking for. Turns out, Skip the Games offers way more than just female escorts for men—you can also find male escorts for men, transsexual escorts, massage services or studios, domination or fetish providers, male escorts for women, private strippers or strip clubs, phone sex providers or cam sex sites, even adult job postings. Skip the Games is your key to the face-to-face sex industry.
Let’s say you are a man looking for a female escort (because, let’s just face it, that’s obviously what you are). Just select the appropriate options in the search bar, type in your city, and specify what kind of girl you’re looking for if you want (blonde, brunette, Asian, etc.). Press search and sit back as all of the female escort who have posted in your area suddenly materialize before your very eyes.
Endless Chicks Ready to Please
The results are organized by day, and they appear as a long list of thumbnail images. Click one of the images to be brought to the girl’s profile. Here, you will find more pictures of her, along with some basic stats: age; who they are willing to see (men/women/couples); race; hair color; accepted payment methods; whether they accept in-call, out-call, or both; hours of availability; weight; height; bust, waist, and hip measurements; breast size; “grooming down under” (shaved, manicured, hairy); piercings (hidden, visible, or none); tattoos (many, few, or none); and social activities (smoking, drugs, drinking, etc.). Along with all of this information, you will find a list of activities or services she provides, a brief bio, and her contact information.
From this page, there’s also a very convenient “next profile” button, which allows you to effortlessly skim through all of the options in your city. And, depending on where you’re from, you might have to browse through quite a few profiles before you land on a really sexy whore. That really just depends on where you are, though. There are bound to be more hot chicks available in, say, Miami, than in Boise, Idaho. Most of the girls do have a decent number of pictures that effectively show off any and all of their assets that one would be interested in previewing before going through the trouble of making a call.
Skip the Games is also nice enough to provide you with a scam disclaimer, warning you of potential fraudulent posters and what types of links to beware of. They even make it nice and easy to report profiles that you believe to be scams. I must say, this is an appreciated feature to a website like this, since there are bound to be some (that’s what makes Craigslist so unbearable to begin with). It seems like they do a decent job of weeding out any fake posts, though, because I didn’t see any that looked suspicious in my browsing.
Find a Job to Pay Your Escorts
One feature of Skip the Games that intrigued me was the Adult Jobs postings. Let me just say, though, guys, before you get too excited, you are not going to find that dream job of starring in straight pornography here. Chances are you are not going to find that anywhere (it is an insanely difficult business to get into). However, if you know a girl who might make a good phone sex operator or cam girl, feel free to refer her to this site. There are plenty of options for women in the adult industry, and Skip the Games has a solid list of them based on city.
Be Careful What You Pay For…
At the bottom of every escort’s page, Skip the Games has included a little legal disclaimer, in an attempt to eschew liability in case any of you gets into trouble with law enforcement in your quest for some real-life pussy. They reiterate that prices are merely for the escort’s company, and that they do not condone an exchange of money for sexual favors. One quick glance at any of these escort’s profile pages, though, will easily tell a completely different story.
That being said, though, I advise you to pursue your escort fantasy with caution. If you’re chatting with someone who sounds like a cop, chances are it is. Just use your common sense. If you’re texting with an “escort,” and she says something like, “yes…I will certainly make your penis feel good,” or, “Oh can you bring some marijuana cigarettes with you when you come?” that should definitely raise an eyebrow. Instead of going to fuck a hot chick like you thought you were, chances are you are the one who’s going to get fucked. Behind bars.
Don’t Be a Dick
One other thing, then I’ll shut the fuck up with the lectures. This should really go without saying, but, if you are actually going to meet up with someone from this site, don’t be a fucking dick. These women are just trying to make a living (and make you feel good in the process), so treat them with respect, respect their boundaries, and make sure you have your payment ready at the moment you meet up with them. A lot of these girls work independently and rely on the hope that us guys will do well by them. So, just be a decent fucking human being. I get that you’re probably a piece of shit (you have to order an escort to get laid after all), but please don’t take that out on the ladies. They’re here to make you feel incredible, so the least you could do is make them feel comfortable in the process.
Okay, I’m done lecturing your nasty ass. Now that you’ve gotten through this crash course in how Skip the Games works, why not go try it out if you have an extra hundred bucks or two? Or, you know, you could just go back to jerking it to porn if you are too much of a pussy to follow through and meet up with a real woman in real life.
Skip the Games is a decent database of escorts and adult workers of all kinds. It’s easy to use and easy to navigate. It doesn’t make you work too hard (no sign-up required) to access the girl’s contact information, and it appears to be pretty actively used (lots of posts even in smaller cities). As long as you understand the risk involved and you can act like a semi-decent human being for an hour or two, then I think Skip the Games is definitely worth at least checking out. We all need a break from porn from time to time.