Fetish.com

Do you have a Fetish? If you answered “Yes,” I’m sure it’d be nice to have somebody to indulge that kink with, huh? Maybe you’re lucky and already have a fat lady to step on your face, a submissive babe who lets you tie her up, or a couple who let you do their dishes naked while calling you a filthy pig. If you don’t, maybe it’s about time you started looking around for one. Hell, thanks to the magic of the Internet, nobody should ever settle for a lame-ass partner who doesn’t get the subtleties of BDSM or the proper way to tie a clove hitch knot.

Of course, it helps to know where to look. Fetish.com is a thriving worldwide community of perverts with kinks. As you might expect from the one-word domain, the brand has been around for a good long while, though this current incarnation popped up around 2015. Craigslist may have ditched the Casual Encounters years ago, but it’s nice to know there are still places where consenting adults can meet up on the Internet to figure out where to meet up in real life before banging each other with the unlubricated handle end of a cat-o-nine tails. Okay, before we go in, you should probably tell me your safe word.

Way Better Than Craigslist Ever Was

I mentioned Craigslist because it was one of the original online places to find some weird side action tonight or sooner. I know it wasn’t that long ago they got rid of the adult classifieds, but it’s hard to imagine any of that half-ass text-only shit working today. I’ve reviewed a couple of lousy escort sites that have tried to keep that lo-fi aesthetic, and it just comes off as lazy. Fetish.com is neither Craigslist nor an escort site, falling more neatly under the category of adult dating. I’d file it under Sex Dating, obviously, but their front page calls it Fetish Dating. That actually sounds a lot more accurate; you may not be going out for dinner or even having sex, but she might choke you out with her thighs before the evening is over.

Even if I was completely illiterate, I think I’d still understand what Fetish was all about. The landing page is sleek, modern and enticing, with a dark purple color scheme that screams kink, just in case you missed the background image of the sexy slut with the dog collar and chain. She pops up again and again with a little reminder if you take too long getting to the signup page. Registration is free, according to the button next to her pretty, subby face.

Maybe you’re just a tourist for now, which is okay, too. In fact, Fetish.com has a lot of free kink resources available to non-members. Some of these include basic info about BDSM and fetishes, a magazine, and a thriving forum where you can lurk about and read up without signing up. (Of course, that pop-up about signing up is going to follow you around until you finally do it.)

Honestly, you’re probably going to want to sign up to get involved with the community. That said, I was a little surprised to find a ton of local listings for BDSM/fetish events in the USA and UK. You can browse these without registering for the site, and most have links back to their own individual websites where you can get more info and maybe have somebody fart through a tube attached to your mouth.

Joining a Community of Absolute Deviates

I was content to spend a few more minutes looking around the free, no-registration-required area, but goddamn, that naggy bitch with the purple lips kept popping up every couple of minutes. I finally gave in and clicked the Join button, sacrificing an email address and checking off the box that says I’m a dude. (Other options include Female, Couple, Trans and Non-binary, so everybody’s included.)

The confirmation/activation email comes through immediately, and then it’s just a matter of choosing a nickname and checking off some more boxes about who you’re interested in and what you’re looking for. I decided to go all in, seeking Females for Friends, Kinky Dates, Events & Places, NSA and Swingers. There are also boxes for Networking and BDSM Lovers, or you can keep it online with the Pic Exchange and Cybersex options.

After uploading a pic or skipping that step, Fetish.com drops you right into the member’s area. Like other social sites, new users without any friends get a fairly unrefined news feed to begin with. As soon as I got in, I saw an ad enticing me to upload DIY porn, a drawing of a stripper, and a bunch of selfies of cute goth girls, cosplay chicks, ebony hotties, tatted-up MILFs, plumpers with pretty faces and a couple of uglies, too. That just sort of comes with any social/dating site.

One thing I noticed right away was that the chicks in my feed were all really fucking far away. Sorry, Americans, but they list distances in kilometers and don’t give a fuck how you feel about it or whether the digits make any sense to you at all. I made my way to the search filter to find the local chicks who’d be down to have their butt peed in later tonight.

And that’s where Fetish.com cockblocked me. It turns out even the most basic filters are locked unless you’ve got a Premium or VIP membership. Well, fuck! I guess it’s either time to pay some cash or just go back to trolling the truck stops for freaky, tweaked-out bitches willing to do damn near anything for a hundred.

What Do the Paid Members Get?

Before I start bitching about the prices, I should mention that free users can use the Fetish.com messaging system. I see a lot of dating sites that completely restrict messaging until you’ve paid up, making the “free” memberships essentially worthless. Here, you can at least chat, though the lack of search filters is also a massive impediment to using the site.

Which begs the question, how much does it cost to get the full ticket? The rates start at around 10 euros a month for the Premium package and 17 for the VIP, with lower rates for longer memberships; a full year breaks down to about 54 or 90, respectively.

The signup page taunts you with some facts and figures about what you’re missing out on as a free user. There are a couple hundred thousand pervy images, the ability to get featured in the search results, and most tantalizingly, there are 33 local kinksters in my area. Well, shit, those locked search filters sure seem even more useful now!

There’s a big-ass checklist of perks and features for the Fetish.com VIP and Premium members. Dues-paying members get actual amateur porn made by other members, as well as the ability to upload their own. There is improved profile access, ways to get yourself noticed more easily, and just really basic shit like the ability to add friends or skip the goddamn ads. The biggest differences between Premium and VIP are the numbers; Premium members can upload 15 videos while VIP get unlimited, and the VIP get to unmask more profile visitors and get more icebreaker messages.

But is it all worth it? Really, I think a lot of it boils down to one number they show you on the signup page: the one that shows how many local kinksters are in your area. If you’ve got some local freaks, maybe it’s worth signing up for a month at least, if for no other reason than to see what kind of weird, kinky fun might be available on nights the wifey is out of town.

One of the most important factors for any type of dating site is just the number of members, since you ain’t getting beaten with an assortment of whips in a ghost town. Fetish.com has half a million monthly visitors, putting you in good company with a lot of freaks. The signup is quick and easy enough that I’d recommend at least a peek to anybody with niche sexual interests. Who knows? You might finally meet somebody willing to try felching.