Booty Farm

BootyFarm! Ever dream of fucking a bodacious blonde farmhand? Do you like simple, time passing games with a touch of porn in them? If you fit that bill, then you just might enjoy the game I have for you. Porn games come in all different varieties. You’ve got the more elite category of good shit like VR porn games, interactive adventures, and full-fledged fuck fests. Then there’s the middle of the road stuff in my opinion. Text-based games with tons of erotic storytelling, visual novels, girlfriend simulators. And finally, there’s the bottom barrel shit. It’s not always bad, but games in this category are usually pretty lame. Like poorly animated flash games, mind-numbing time-based games with no real substance, and shoddily thrown together mobile apps.

This game, unfortunately, falls into that last category. But don’t pack up your shit yet. I’ve been proven wrong before, and if anyone is going to pump out an awesome time-based point and click game then it’s going to be the hentai game powerhouse of a site that hosts this one. Nutaku.com. The site that brings in over 100 million site views every month. I’ve played a lot of Nutaku games and they are usually fucking awesome. So, let’s see if Booty Farm is just as good.

Simple Plot with Equally Simple Gameplay that Gets Very Repetitive

The plot is pretty simple. It’s not going to blow your mind or anything, but who expects that much from a porn game anyway? Basically, you play as a city boy who has just inherited his uncle’s farm. Your plan is to get there and sell it off to make some cash and head back to your city apartment where you make lots of money and drive nice cars. Generic stud figure.

Well, that plan away pretty quickly when Mindy, the busty blonde farmhand, says that all the men around have left to live in the city and work in a new factory. The women around these parts are just aching to get a quality dicking. Including Mindy, who takes you into the barn and sucks you off to make you stay and says that your uncle used to fuck all the girls here and that your cock is so much bigger than his was. And so you stay. Now, you work the farm and earn new sexy farmhands as you level up.

The gameplay is very similar to a popular Facebook game, just with some added sexual innuendos and occasional sexy pictures. Seriously, every time you need to do something Mindy is making some sort of kinky joke. Oh, you need to plant some corn. “Yes, spread your seed all over.” Want to harvest that corn “Mm, so nice and thick.” It’s pretty fucking cringy at times. Like, who really gets off to this shit? I just don’t get it, but I’m sure there are plenty of you out there that love it.

You Need Some Bullshit Premium Currency to Play the Game at a Reasonable Speed

The game economy is all based around coins and “diamonds.” Why they call the red gems diamonds is beyond me. But the diamonds act as premium currency that you can buy more of to speed your progress up. Thing is, that shit costs real cash. So, if you want to have more than 5 minutes of shit to do in the game at any given time then you’ll have to shell out some dosh to pay for those diamonds so that you can do even more mindless bullshit. It’s all about building up your farm. Raise chickens, harvest their eggs, build a grain mill, travel to other farms, fish, and more incredibly engaging tasks.

The basic mechanics and menus go as follows: use coins to buy seeds at the shop, plant the seeds, wait, harvest the seeds, send the seeds to be turned into grain, wait, buy animals, feed animals, wait for the animals to produce more ingredients, wait, and on it goes. You can unlock new girls, buy bigger plots of land, shop for cosmetic items, and build bigger buildings. But that’s it. That’s the game.

Porn Rewards are Lackluster and Take Forever to Get

And if you play for a few hours you might just get a drawing of Mindy or one of your other farmhand sluts getting fucked! Wow. That’s all you get though. There aren’t any cool animated sex scenes. No interactive fucking. You can’t choose what you do to these babes. It’s boring. Plain and simple. I’ve had more fun looking for a new porn game than actually playing this one.

But it does have some merits. The drawings are well done. It’s not like the art is shitty or anything. And the game plays like it should. If you want to spend your valuable fapping time cultivating a farm and making sure your crops are harvested efficiently, then, hey, go knock yourself out. If a game can be ruined by just googling the reward pictures, then why even bother with the gameplay at all? Maybe if they made it dating sim and you could have some more options it might be worth it.

This is more the kind of game you have in another tab and mess around with occasionally if you have nothing better to do. I hate to harp on it, but it pretty much fails on both aspects that a porn game should be aiming for. It’s not that sexy, and you don’t get very valuable rewards. And the gameplay is boring. If you can at least hit one of those you’ll be bringing people back, but they fall short on both. Hell, the preview images surrounding the game are sexier than the fucking game itself.

You Can Play on the Go with the Booty Farm Mobile App

Like all Nutaku games, or at least most of them, this one can be played on the go. They have a mobile app for the game that works fine enough. It’s the exact same as the desktop, so there’s really not much to say about it. It does everything the desktop version does, and it’s actually a little easier to use with a touch screen device compared to using your mouse to move between menus and shit.

ThePornDude’s Favorite Features

My favorite features about Nutaku’s Booty Farm game is probably the art style, I guess. Can you tell I’m really digging for something here? It’s just the only thing that could possibly make the game worth coming back to. The style isn’t anything new, but it’s good and consistent. If you like that western porn comic style, then that might make this game worth it for you. Other than that, I guess there’s nothing blatantly wrong with the game. And I may be giving it too much heat. You might love it. I’d still give it a shot and see. It’s free anyway.

ThePornDude’s Suggestions

My main suggestion for Booty Farm would be to make it sexier! Get this shit animated. Have some better sex scenes. I know I look at porn a lot, but this probably made me less horny than when I started playing it. I don’t know. It’s a lot to suggest but changing up the gameplay might be worthwhile. More excitement or something. What if my farmhand was captured by super hung aliens or some shit? That would get me invested. As is, it’s a not so good farm simulator with not so good porn. Just step that shit up and you’ll have something fun to play.

ThePornDude’s Final Thoughts

Overall, if farming simulators get your dick hard then this game is for you. Fuck, I wouldn’t put it past some of you fetish freaks out there. Watching paint dry could make some of you cum. This is game is pretty much equivalent to paint drying though. Boring gameplay and not that many cool porn scenes to keep you invested. If you really want a porn game, I would check out some of the other games Nutaku has. They have so many good ones that blow this one out of the water.