It’s that hour again. The one where another startup decides the hole in your chest is a market, slaps a nebula on the login screen, and calls the resulting catalog a soulmate. So… welcome to SPMates.com, which insists its real name is SPACETIME MATE, sure… as long as I get what I came for. If you want the polite and organized words, well, you have AI character chat, interactive stories, companions who truly get you (that’s the pitch), plus scene-to-image, dress-up, long memory, and the ever-popular truly human (once again, the AI pitch everyone flaunts). The point is: this girlfriend lives in a parallel dimension, and that dimension did not hire a translator. Well, technically, they did. They have a menu that allows you to toggle between languages, English included, but man… it sort of does the job.
Anyway, I tapped English at the top like a good little tourist. Picking English only changes the buttons. So… the names, jobs, bios, and half the filthy little descriptions under each face stay written in scripts I cannot read without leaning toward the monitor like an idiot at a train-station timetable. I am a consumer first and a linguist never, so I squinted, I scrolled, and I waited for someone named Sarah to appear. Well, Lottie showed up! An AI babe from the United Kingdom, held like a hostage by the localization team, remembered to include because a Western audience exists. Everyone else looked like they had been imported in a zip file labeled do not open in the West. I still opened and toyed around with a few. I mean, what kind of a horny journalist would I be if I didn’t? Well… without further ado, let’s dive into it.
From Chinese To British
Now let me bring something to your attention and take a couple of steps back. Before you even reach that feed, the site opens your universe (corny, I know) and slaps a welcome card with a whole pitch prepared and everything. They want you to know that every character has a fixed relationship, so you jump straight into the thrill. Then there’s this whole progressive bond thing about strangers falling in love with you. Underneath, three promised toys sit there like a dessert menu for people who already failed the date: one-click undress, change outfits, chat to video. I had not said hello yet, and the site was already offering to peel someone.
So you know what I did? I decided to chat up the smut hero from the home page! Yep… It’s not even a woman! It is a silver-haired anime man in wire-rimmed glasses, marked online, age 36, 191 cm, 88 kg, Virgo, ENTJ, China, some executive job I could not read, starting relationship status: strangers. Motherfucker had 18K chats already! His first-person introduction is a brick of text that might be tender or might be a threat… I don’t know! The thing is in full Chinese! I would need a priest and a dictionary to translate this. Anyway, I sent a few messages like a cultured degenerate, in English, might I add, and this dude responded in Chinese. So… naturally, I closed the chat. Do you know what I did next? Remember that British chick from earlier? Yeah, I hit her up. Finally… someone who chats in English! By the way, there’s this reel of images I get on the chatting interface, and I can’t close it! It literally blocks the entirety of the message. It gets in the way so fucking much! But at least the images look half-decent…
Speaking of this reel, they call them Immersive Media or some shit. In there, you have these Act Screens and Scene Play stuff that displays different sets of images. Some of them are locked behind the premium model. The others you could inspect without a problem. Well, whatever… back to the character list, because SpMates is about to make your dreams come true with keywords organized like an SEO dump: Sexy, Pure, Yandere, Cunning, Fairy Tale, Campus, Realistic, Anime, 2D, Chinese Style, Cyber, CG, Game, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Virtual Idol, Non-Human, Fantasy Creature… Jesus Christ… a lot of options.
Creating Shit Like The Big Bang
Anyway, let’s focus on the generative features since they don’t require you to speak ten different languages. There’s a menu simply called Create. This one gives you a few options when it comes to creating your dream AI, and hell… You can even create an AI of yourself and have other people hit you up! First, you get the Private Character creation, five slots total. This one creates a character for your eyes only. Then there’s the public character. This one gives you 500 credits if the character gets approved, and publishing five of these allows you to earn credits if you have their membership. Basically, you can exchange your characters for credits so the addiction keeps going. The actual character creation menu goes in incredible depth, and if I have to sit here and list all of it, then you’ll be out the door in less than five seconds. Believe me, this thing goes into great detail and covers more than the average AI site does. I mean… It took me more than thirty minutes to create my own private concoction… so give it a whirl.
On the other spectrum of generative features, you have the AI characters, and you can generate images of them, videos, all that crap. There is one generate button which costs 150 credits, and it generates a random still of your character. It works fine, generates an SFW image, does the job. Then there’s the more advanced generation, which has like a buttload of creation methods. The One Tap Undress is the easy way to get your AI dude or girl naked. It works phenomenally! Then there’s this whole Battle Outfit for male and female characters, and uh… it mutated my boy! It slapped my AI dude in this male lingerie, and his balls were out, but there was a hole where his cock was supposed to be. And to top it all off, you have the DIY Creation method, which has a prompt box where you describe your dream scene and watch the magic happen, and so I did. Described my AI dude battling another AI dude with his cock… sort of like a cock swordfight. Surprisingly… this one worked! I don’t know why something this specific works wonderfully, but the damn battle suit gave me a chastised dude with his entire cock missing. But we’re not done yet! There’s also the Video Generator, and this one only has a prompt box. I wrote my thing, waited for the results, got em… barely did the job. BARELY. Whatever…
NOVA And The Galaxy And Whatnot
Well, you saw me talking about the currency. I called it credits, but it actually goes by a different name: NOVA. You get this by buying a membership. One-time upgrade, no automatic renewal, and non-refundable unless they fail to deliver the pixels. There’s actually a trial called Stardust, for the price of one dollar for three days of access and 800 bonus NOVA, memory for 30 days, standard reply speed, no Auto Voice, one private character, ArcScreen 01, ten slots of media space, concurrency of one. Then Moonlight at $30 per 30 days and 33,000 NOVA. Galaxy, most loved, $50 per 30 days and 60,000 NOVA, exclusive reply speed, three private characters. Universe, the crown, $100 per 30 days and 150,000 NOVA, five private characters, fifty media slots, concurrency of five. After that, you can still shovel more NOVA into the hole at $10, $20, $50, $100, with the big pack tossing a bonus on top so you feel smart while you bleed.
Let me translate that out of spacetime: The membership depends on how deep down the rabbit hole you have gone. One hundred is what you pay when you want the site to generate her faster and remember you longer. Thirty dollars a month is the surrender tier in this genre. Anyway, would I recommend SPMates to a friend? Only if the friend has money, really loves AI roleplay, and could hold his own against prompts and advanced customization. I am not doing a tidy wrap-up. I laid everything out, so go do your thing now.
