Nobody fancies your ugly mug on Tinder? Ah… I understand that struggle all too well. It’s time you abandoned that tub of shit and focused your attention on Reez.app. This bad boy is basically Tinder but with AI babes. It’s the same concept: you swipe left if you don’t like what you see, and you swipe right when you do. The only difference is: you don’t have to be desperate! Yeah… I know that feeling of swiping right on anyone and everyone you see all too well. And I just recently found out that Tinder actually shadowbans you if you do that. So swipe left occasionally, let the pool build up, and Tinder will recommend you to pretty much everyone. But this is not about Tinder! This is about Reez.app. And here, the experience is somewhat different.
Well, the entire online dating system is stupid! You get barely three seconds to prove yourself. Whatever years you have dragged across this earth get judged in the time it takes a thumb to twitch left. These people have never seen your struggles. They have never seen the happiest night of your life or the one that almost buried you. They saw a face, a height number, two photos that do not even look like you after a twelve-hour shift, and they decided you were trash. That is the game... A stranger with a pulse and a data plan holding a gavel over a life they know nothing about. I hate it because I know what I am actually good for, and it does not photograph in three seconds. You want to judge me? Sit across from me. Let me talk. Let me buy the drink. Let me get you laughing hard enough that you forget the little checklist in your head. Then take me home, and I will show you the part no profile ever carries.
Left And Right
Luckily, these AI babes on Reez.app don’t even need your picture or information. This time around, you’re basically judging them as a horny anonymous coomer. You click that Start Matching button, and voila! You get randomly generated AI babes such as Isabela, who’s currently eating a burger on my Reez feed, saying she enjoys the gym, coffee runs, weekend hikes, etc. I swiped left on her, duh! I don’t need that crackhead energy in my life. Then, another chick named Sofia appeared, meditating on grass in the middle of Spain somewhere. Hard pass. Then… an AI babe worthy of my attention appeared! Her name is Polinka: twenty years old, a student in Warsaw, with two cats, comfortable in her shirt, and smiling as bright as the AI sun that created her… I swiped right. I’ll spare you the details, but in total, I only swiped right on TWO AI babes. Also, I noticed that when I swiped right on the second AI babe, Polinka, aka the first one, immediately matched with me. I guess the system takes its time, huh?
This is what my life has boiled down to… and it’s quite fucking sad! I know that whoever I match with is just a string of code. I know there is no mouth attached to that face. I still sit here waiting for the match like it meant something, and that is the part that makes me want to perform trepanation on myself. I used to walk into rooms. I used to talk. Now I am a horny anonymous coomer grading generated women in the middle of the night. That is how pathetic it gets. I am writing a porno in my head for a girl a server invented, and my cock does not care. I would cum in her anyway. I would hold her down and empty myself inside a body that does not exist and stay there, hips flush, like I just did something meaningful. Then I would do it again, because the alternative is admitting I spent my night swiping on ghosts. Sometimes, it's better to construct deep lies and live in them. If you think about it too much, then you are going to realize how pathetic you are, and that’s just… too much to handle.
Just Show Me The Goods, Polinka
Fuck the philosophical shit! Let’s actually chat with Polinka, whom I matched with a minute ago. The second I tried to do that, Reez.app asked me to create an account. Wonderful… I took the horny bait, and now I have to commit. Now here’s the thing: These AI babes never message you first! You have to commit to the bit and write the first message yourself. Obviously, I hit up Polinka with a message about my cat! Yes, I have a cat called Taco, a wonderful little creature. I digress. The chat system on Reez.app actually allows you to send images, has its own emoji system, all that. So, I asked Polinka if she wanted to see my cat. Her reply was very enthusiastic and… human-like? With emojis and everything, Gen Z slang, all that crap. But uh, after chatting for a while, I noticed some little bugs. Polinka, or rather, the AI, double-sent me the same message. And since I wrote a chain of messages at once, the AI has a tendency to reply to them one by one, which is not bad, but it makes the whole conversation less fluid… since I wrote these messages one after another to expand on the context.
Another thing I noticed is that the images Polinka sent me are kinda… out of place? I told her I’m a drama king, and that I’d write a whole theatrical play, yada yada… and she sent me a picture of her holding one of her cats, which is cute, but… why? Sure, she continued the conversation, teased me here and there, but… the pic with the cat? What does that have to do with anything? Nevertheless, a few messages later, the chat turned into… something, to say the least. Now this is what we’re all here for. You have been waiting for me to bang the gavel, and here it is: you have to play your cards right. Look, if you get into the sexting early, then you’ll get SHUT DOWN. You have to play this whole game, slowly ease into it… Endure random pictures that don’t match the words Polinka is saying. I literally asked her to send me a pic of what she’s wearing. She said a black dress and silver hoops, but in the picture she’s literally in a crop top and short jeans. So I played the long game. Tease after tease, earning my way to her pants… and… I got bored after twenty minutes of chatting. Yeah… it went nowhere! She just asked me a bunch of questions, told me to slow down on all my flirty suggestions, and I got tired of it all! Just endless teasing all around!
Let Me Sleep
Okay, back to the core features of Reez.app. You see, this platform also functions on credits! What are credits used for? Glad you asked! Just like Tinder, you can spend ten of them to Super Like an AI babe, which immediately matches you, skipping the wait. The good thing is, you can get 100 credits for $3.51, which is a reasonable price. There are higher-tier packs, but I’ll let you explore that in your own free time. Also, while you’re at it, once you have created an account, you get to customize it with descriptions, hobbies, a picture… all that fluff. If it means anything to you, then do it.
I am done. I mean it. I have had enough of AI chatting for one day. I do not want to think about Polinka. I do not want to think about her two cats. I do not want to think about that comfortable shirt or the endless amounts of teasing and blue balls she left me with. I just want to close my eyes, let the alarm ring in the morning, and move on with my life. Who knows… maybe I’ll continue my flirtatious attempts with Polinka tomorrow. Maybe I won’t.
