Want a cock rating? You're in the right fucking place, buddy! Welcome, have a seat. Don't worry about your pants, these lucky ladies will unzip them for ya. So... what are you packing inside? Is it magic, or... is it tragic? Well, it doesn't fucking matter to me! It's these girls you have to worry about. They're the judges and the jury, and once you send them a dick pic, there's no going back. You think they'll hesitate and keep their opinions to themselves? Hell fucking no! You're paying them! Now remember, if there's anyone who cares about quality, it's me. So I'm going to spill the tea and tell you all about the dick-rating service these babes are providing.
First impressions? Well, my.club and their dick rating website look solid. They got shiny buttons on the left, a bunch of girls in the middle, sidebars everywhere, all solid. Then again, I can't fucking help but notice that... these girls look... normal? I'm used to the tits-out, hypersexualized babes of the internet. But the chicks who are about to rate your dick on my.club? They look normal. Too normal! I can't help but wonder, what the fuck has happened to society? The highest paying job in the world is OnlyFans, and we've conditioned the modern lady to sell naughty services (such as dick ratings) on the internet for $5! Gone are the days when women were hard to get, when pleasure came in the form of dating. Now? You're one click away from getting your junk rated. Enough about me talking shit, this is about you and my.club. So... are you ready to indulge in this madness? I sure hope you are, because there are 2,225 dick judges in stock, and they won't hesitate to tell you what they think about your junk.
Cash For Dick Harass
Before you get your junk rated, I want you to bring some cash. No, it's not me who wants your cash, it's these damn ladies! Honestly, I wouldn't pay for a dick rating without a happy ending. However, I'm pretty sure that most of these ladies offer additional services along with your pickle teasing. Once you have your money ready, all you have to do is scroll through the page and find the perfect babe to rate your dick. Some charge $3, others charge $10. I've seen the dick rating prices go as high as $30! It all depends on the judge with a vagina you choose. You found the perfect babe? Good. Now click that shopping cart button, and it will open up an entire menu for you. There, you'll find every single possible service that the girl of your choosing offers on this platform. But we are here for the dick rating, right? Well, most of these babes follow a specific pattern. They charge separately for a written dick rating, which is usually brutally honest, detailed, and delivered in 4 hours. And they offer a 2–5-minute video of them rating your dick. Obviously, the video ratings are more expensive, but that's up to you.
While I was browsing, I couldn't help but notice this one specific creator who has put a creative twist on the pickle-dickle sampling. She's called Student Jodi, and she's an artist as well as a fetishist. What she does is, for $8, Jodi will rate your dick and make a drawing as well. Then she hangs that drawing up on her wall, as if she cut off your junk and made it all hers. You already know she's worth the money!
Honestly, everyone else feels basic compared to the dick student Jodi. You got the average dick ratings that last a minute, with honest descriptions, and they charge what they charge. Still, the gooning session must be far more than worth it. These women are out here judging the lord's work, and they are doing it with brutal precision. Wait, did I say women? Men are doing this shit too! What? You think dick rating is exclusive to women? Hell nah, fool! The femboys are in on it as well! It's a pickle rating party, where the courtroom downs semen shots and pops condoms instead of balloons.
For The Average Joe
Okay, let me address the average Joe now. You came home from work, all tired and in desperate need of validation. You have looming debt and bills on top of your head, and you only have 20 bucks to spare. So you want to sample the best, right? Well, my.club's dick rating section has its creators labeled by trending, top, and new. Since it's your first time around, I suggest clicking on that top button and picking one of the top five dick judges. Currently, the queen of dick-rating on this platform is this chick called Evelyn. Not the purple succubus that you're way too familiar with. This Evelyn boasts natural beauty, curves sculpted to perfection by Mother Nature, and an innocent yet seductive charm. It's all in the eyes, man! She giggles as if this is her first time doing it. And before you know it, you've paid $10 for two minutes of her time, and she's laughing her ass off, looking at your teeny-weeny, calling it cute. You know you're never going to land a chick this hot in real life, so you take the win! At least she has seen your penis, right?
Trailing in close second on this top section is Angel. Now I have no idea why she's in second place. She only has five followers on my.club, and she takes mirror selfies with the phone in front of her face. But... for $3, she'll record a short video and evaluate your dick. Ehm... excuse me, evaluate? Is this the urology clinic? Please don't shove a finger up my butt, Angel. I promise... my prostate is fine. Nevertheless, you can't beat that price, especially when a faceless chick is offering a dick rating for spare change.
But what if you want another man to rate your junk? Or better yet, a man in a maid outfit and cute stockings? Well, my.club has got you covered! It took some time, but I managed to find the perfect candidate. I'm talking about Martin, the skinny heartthrob, with toned muscles and a haircut that screams gay. He might not be wearing stockings and a maid outfit, but for $5, he'll do a dick rating. On top of that, his description literally says send me a photo, and I'll be grateful! You hear that?! Martin would be grateful to see your junk hard for him.
In Desperate Need For Sorting
Okay, it took a while, but we managed to cover the basics. There's a variety of creators here who'll rate your wiener. I only covered the absolute beauties, but there are BBW alt girls, hairy ladies, goth girls, and all types of creators who offer this service. One thing that kinda puts me off about this whole thing is the lack of filtering options. You see, to find someone like Martin, I have to scroll for five fucking minutes! This can easily be fixed if they added a filtering menu or anything that sorts these creators by gender, age, preferences, that bold stuff.
Still, I can't complain too much. They make it super easy to get your dick rated. You don't have to pay for a subscription, or jump through hoops, or talk with someone for hours. All you have to do is click a button, then click another button, pay, and wait. That's super-duper fucking easy! And once again, I'm fucking surprised by the amount of normal-looking girls on this platform that do naughty shit. Pretty much every babe on my.club who offers dick rating services looks like someone you'd see on the street, and you'd never in a million years guess that she looks at dicks as a side-hustle. But I guess this is the new normal now, and I have to get used to it. Plus, this list of 2,000-something creators? It's expanding daily. There's always a new girl on the block, eager to make some cash and look at your pickle.
