Remember sneaking that copy of Leisure Suite Larry from the game store and playing it on your PS2 with the volume off in your room during the middle of the night? No? Okay, maybe that’s just me, but my point is that porn games have come a long way since those dark ages. Now you can just fire up your computer and play an array of different, much sexier, games for free. Card games, VR simulators, Flash games, etc. There’re tons to choose from, but let’s dive into the one I want to talk about today: Big Bang Empire.
Big Bang Empire is an in-browser flash game that lets you create and develop an up and coming pornstar. You can find the game over at bigbangempire.com. But you’ve probably heard of this site one way or another. There aren’t many porn sites you can go to without seeing their banner ads everywhere. Talk about hitting the right market! Anyway, these guys have been around for just about 5 years and they bring in a solid 1.5 million visitors every month with quite a large spike over the past couple months. Whatever you’re doing keep it up!
When you first head over to bigbangempire.com you will have to set up an account in order to play. Nothing too difficult really. It’s free and you just need to type in an email and password. After that, you’re in. And my first impressions were that this looks, well, okay, I guess. Let me explain. It’s a flash game, so it has that flash look. You know the look I’m talking about. The art is limited by what flash can do here, so I can’t really recommend it for sitting down and fapping to, but let’s talk about it in the terms of a neat flash game.
Create your Own Pornstar and Rise up Through the Ranks!
Once you make your account, you can create your pornstar. They can be male or female depending on the fantasy you want to explore. The dudes kind of look like Johnny Bravo. Picture a buff jock named Chad and you’ve probably got the right image in your head. The babe model is a 10/10 skinny chick with decent tits. Here you can give them a name, change some of their features, and then get started.
Unfortunately, you can’t change the shit that matters. Can’t give you pornstar bigger/smaller tits, change their body type, give them a nice ass, or anything like that. You get to mess with their hair, tattoos, mouth, nose, and clothes. That’s it.
Once you have created the slut of your dreams, you can get started playing the game. Your goal is to make it out of your shitty town and make it to the big city to become an even better pornstar. To achieve this, you have to complete missions to earn diamonds, cash, and experience. Missions are pretty straightforward. You click on them and it tells you what you will earn as well as how long the mission will take in real time. Yeah, it’s one of those games. Just like you would expect, you can spend in-game currency to complete missions instantly. Which, guess what, end up costing real-world money. Fuck, I hate microtransactions like that. If you like clicking a button and then waiting ten minutes, this game was made for you.
Gameplay and Rewards Leave a Lot to Be Desired
Besides missions, you can also “Duel” other players. It’s pretty lackluster. Your character and some other players character just kind of deal damage to each other without any real animation or input from you. You get rewards and shit, but it’s not all that engaging. I guess if you’re looking for a time killer to do between other tasks then this would work.
But the behind the scenes stuff is slightly more interesting. You can build a porn studio and invite your friends to take part in it. This gives you bonuses depending on how many pornstars you have and stuff like that. You can find boosts that decrease time for missions, but, again, those take in game currency, which will end up most likely costing you actual cash. Alternatively, you can watch an ad to cut the time in half. But even that you can only do once per hour.
I will say that the “sex shop” area of the game is pretty fun. You can dress, or undress, your character however you like. You can’t take her panties off and get a look at the goods, but at least you can remove her top and check out her tits if you feel like it. There are a lot of clothes options, so they kind of make up for the lack of model selections there.
Now, I bet you’re asking “PornDude, where is the actual porn here?” I had the same question. It took me a while to get to it, but you can win pictures of these chicks that you go on dates with. You just have to collect certain items from other missions and bring those things to them. The pictures are drawn much better than the flash animations are. Hell, you might actually get a half chub looking at these. Now, I didn’t get to see anything too crazy here. Just sex and risqué photos. Hopefully, you get more good shit as you unlock future dates, but I’m not sure if it’s worth that grind to get there.
Mind-Numbing Gameplay, But a Great Mobile App
Then next big feature of the game comes when you hit level 8. You get to create your own porn film, which is somehow even less sexy than I thought it would be. I thought you’d at least get a picture or short clip after the hour or so it takes you make a damn video, but no. You don’t get anything aside from experience, fans, and that kind of shit. After you do your first shoot you can start decorating your apartment, which is neat, I guess. Fuck, the more I play this the more this feels like a Facebook game and not at all in a good way.
This game is available on mobile devices through an app you have to go to their website to get. Mobile actually makes much more sense to me for this kind of game. You can click through a couple missions, close it out and let it go for a bit, then come back every now and then to keep the game going. I still wouldn’t really recommend it, but if this is your kind of game then you might enjoy it. It runs just fine on mobile. I actually think it works better than on desktop.
ThePornDude’s Favorite Features
Alright, I know I’ve been pretty negative here, but I do have some favorite features about the game. The customization is a lot of fun to play around with. I personally went with an alt-chick. Bright minty hair, tattoos all over, latex purple top, and some lacy panties. Oh, and can’t forget the black combat boots. Hell yeah. That’s my kind of pornstar. You can just as easily create your own, no matter your tastes. Well, as long as you’re okay with their one body type.
Another good feature here is that there is a lot of content. I only played through the first two locations, but there are over 10 others to go explore. And I’m sure there are even more after those ones. If you don’t care about how long it takes, then you can avoid the microtransactions and just play it at your own pace.
My main suggestion is to make this game sexier. I want to see videos, hardcore pictures, and I want them all at a faster pace. I know that will never happen, but a man can dream, right? I’d also like to see some more gameplay here. All the missions are basically waiting games and skill checks. No puzzles, mini-games, or anything. I’d take a fucking word search at this point. It gets boring fast with nothing to do but click a button and sit around with your limp dick in your hand.
ThePornDude’s Final Thoughts
Overall, you might like this game if you’re a fan of casual, easygoing games where you don’t really have to put much effort in. The only thing is that the rewards aren’t that great either. If you want something more porn-orientated I would keep searching.