Instagram

Have you used Instagram to get laid yet? It ain’t designed for that purpose, which might be one of the best reasons why it works. On the other hand, it’s the same reason why some of you may never meet a partner through the platform. It depends a lot on how you approach it and what you’re doing with it, so I figured I’d give out a few pointers that might help you along. At the end of the day, there ain’t much penalty for failure, so how bad could it hurt?

Just in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last decade, Instagram.com is one of the most popular social media networks out there. That alone makes it a fucking goldmine of potential fuck buddies if you know how to work it properly. Unlike other social networks with an emphasis on text-based posts or work-related bullshit, this one is designed primarily for sharing photos and video. It’s one of the most popular sites on the internet, getting around a hundred million visitors each and every day. That’s way more ladies than you’ll find on the local hookup apps, so let’s see about putting the moves on them.

You can play with Instagram via the web or use their wildly popular app, available for iOS and Android. It’s so fucking popular that it’s sometimes preinstalled on brand new phones. Before I ever used it, I had an Android that came with the app and wouldn’t even let me uninstall the bastard. These days, I’m quick to download it as soon as I get a new device.

Just Who’s Using Instagram?

Instagram is so popular that it’s hard to imagine people being completely unfamiliar with the site. Nearly 20 fucking percent of the world population uses the site, though it does skew a bit towards younger folks. Most users are under 35, with the biggest concentrations in the 18 to 24 range. That ain’t to say older folks don’t use it, because I know a ton of you have aunties, uncles and even grannies using it to share pics of their dogs and family potlucks.

I looked up their user demographics a few minutes ago, and I was just a little bit surprised by what I found. I’d wrongly assumed most Insta users are female, but globally, they’re slightly outnumbered by dudes. It could be an American discrepancy, because a whopping 43% of women in the USA are using it. Compare that to just 31% of American dudes, which frankly puts you at an advantage if you’re trying to use it to meet chicks in the US.

Let’s be real: dating is very often a numbers game. There are virgins out there who don’t understand how their ugly friends get laid, but it ain’t that complicated. You have to put yourself out there, whether that’s at the bar, on Tinder, the ‘gram or anywhere else. The dudes with the highest body counts are the ones willing to strike out along the way. Good looks, smooth moves, strong game and fat pockets are nice to have, but the biggest factor is probably just how deep the pool is.

Instagram.com is one of the biggest pools out there, by a fucking enormous margin. The internet’s an incredible thing, because there’s no physical place that would put you in contact with that many people all at once. There’s no club you can go to, no dating site you can join, and no friendly party you can attend where you’ll have even a fraction of the opportunities this one puts in front of you. What are you going to do with those opportunities?

Who Do You Know, and Who Do Your Friends Know?

In case you’re a little slow, I’ll type it out again in bold letters: Instagram.com is not a dating site. This is both its greatest weakness and greatest strength in regards to its ability to help you get some sweet, sweet action in the very near future.

If you’ve struggled with the dating scene and struck out on the usual apps and services, you’ve probably heard somebody say it’s better to meet people through mutual friends. That’s solid advice, but it ain’t always practical. Depending on factors like your age, your location, your hours, or the company you keep, you may not rub elbows with friends of friends as often as you’d like.

Here's where Instragram comes in. In real life and on the internet, it really is easier to chat up women you share a mutual friend with. Unlike real life, though, those potential interactions ain’t limited to the rare Christmas party, wedding or spontaneous BDSM orgy. Hell, you can go on the site right now and Follow somebody you met one time at a back yard barbecue, or even somebody you only saw in a photo your sister posted.

Will she Follow back? It ain’t guaranteed, but a lot of people just do it by default, even if they’ve never heard of you and you don’t have any mutual friends. If you do know some of the same people, though, your chances are a lot better. You ain’t some total stranger. Even if your name has never come up in conversation, mutual friends still count as kind of a natural verification and validation system. It’s got to be at least a hundred times more effective than any Verified badge on any dating website.

A Follow on Instagram obviously ain’t the same as a Match on a hookup site. In fact, it can be completely meaningless. It can also be a good first step, a tiny connection that can lead to a bigger one. That person is now going to see what you’re posting on the site. From here, you’ve just got to choose whether to play the slow game or just slide right into those DMs.

Are You Hot and Interesting Enough?

As in the real world, you ain’t limited to Following or direct messaging friends or friends of friends. It’s easier, sure, but the pool of total strangers is much, much bigger. In either case, though, you probably won’t have much luck if you have a brand new account, zero followers and no posts. Well, not unless you already connected with somebody in real life and Instagram was the only way you could think of to hit her up.

What’s most important if you’re trying to get laid? That honestly depends a lot on who you’re trying to bang. Instagram models and vapid influencers might get turned on by a high follower count, but I’d say the importance of the high score goes down as you and your potential partners get older. You probably need some, though, because it shows you ain’t a weird recluse with no friends or acquaintances.

Instagram.com is designed for sharing your own media, and I’d say this is going to be the vital factor for most people trying to use it to meet people. Unlike dating sites and apps, you ain’t limited to a handful of images. Your feed can be a perfect reflection of you, showing people who you are and what you’re into. Whether that’s a good or bad thing depends on what kind of picture you can paint of yourself, and who you’re trying to meet.

There’s no one size-fits-all answer if you’re wondering what you should post on Instagram. Selfies can show off your rugged good looks and sweet wardrobe, but too many can make you look self-absorbed. Hobby photos can be a double-edged sword: you might meet a nerdy chick who loves Naruto as much as you do, but you’re going to scare away the girls who don’t like neckbeards and fedoras.

Instagram.com is a pretty easy recommendation in general, whether you’re looking to make connections or just share photos of your sad, lonely lunch every day. The site and corresponding app are insanely popular and can help relieve boredom, and loneliness to a certain extent, even if you’re not trying to meet people with it. I didn’t touch on all the models sharing bikini pics that are just barely SFW, nor the fact that some younger demographics think it’s weird not to have an Insta account. It’s free to use and easy to sign up, so it couldn’t hurt to just poke around a little.