There’s a famous line in the epic Monty Python comedy The Holy Grail about Camelot. You may not want to go there, “’tis a silly place.” And while that may seem to be true for a fictitious medieval parody, that quote is positively accurate when it comes to the internet – not that you’d want to avoid the net altogether.
Still, as things go online, it can get fucking frustrating when you see all of the bullshit propaganda and general stupidity floating around. Especially these days, probably petabytes of amusing but still stupid conspiracy theories. Any asshole with an opinion, no matter who inexplicably ignorant, can post a political opinion.
And as you know, don’t get me started on the radical feminist types.
But what’s chapping my ass this past month is the whole #NoNutNovember “holiday” for some reason. Now I’m not one of those authoritarian types who is going to insist you must be like me and bust in someone several times on a weekly (or daily) basis. I mean, if you get off, so to speak, by not getting off for weeks on end, go for it.
Or, in this case, I guess, don’t. Lol
However, I do have a problem with jackasses spreading misinformation like the no fap crowd. I decided to do a rundown on the semen retention movement and set the record straight to do my civic duty.
Semen retention: the (bizarre) history
In the summer of 2011, back when the internet was young (relatively speaking), a subReddit post was started, which focused on not wanking. Called NoFap, Alexander Rhodes popularized a 2003 study which stated that men saw a significant spike in testosterone after seven days of not engaging in any sort of semen release.
From that point, Rhodes popularized the idea of no fap and by extension PMO – meaning abstain from porn, masturbation, and orgasms.
(I know, thrilling, right?)
The whole no #NoFap thing rose in popularity almost as spectacularly (and if you ask me) as inexplicably as the Kim Kardashian and Ray J sex tape made in the same year.
(FYI ya’ll if you are into seeing celebrity porn, I’ve got a post about celebrities who have been offered to do porn, I’ve got a post about it here, here, and here.)
From what I’ve seen, most of the community is made up of porn addicts and single guys who know (textually) circle jerk online about how real men don’t whack it. Of course, since a lot of these guys don’t seem like they’re getting laid, much of this culture reminds me of MGTOW without being decent enough to cite all of the grievances against misandrist elements in the system.
On a scale from one to incel, how pretentious does that sound to you?
Semen retention: the (proposed) “theory”
To give this idea a fair shake, I’ll breakdown the fundamentally supposed pros of not fapping…
Busting a nut makes you a beta – Yes, this actually is a claim I’ve seen these people make before. Somehow by cumming you are less of a man and (they say) will impede your chances of becoming successful.
You will become more attractive to women – Related to the previous point, but another common argument used by no fap people is that (somehow) you are going to be a chick magnet. To be honest, after having looked around, I’m not entirely sure what the thinking behind this is.
But from what I gather, the idea is that spilling semen is so detrimental that it’ll fuck up your sleep and nutrition. Apparently, this will lead to a cascade of related problems, which will ruin your game with the ladies. As a related consequence, they say you won’t be the dominant alpha, which you should be.
You’ll get a boost in fertility – To be honest, there is some truth in this, but the evidence is ambiguous. Men who are pursuing pregnancy through IVF are indeed told to not release for several days. Supposedly, this increases the odds that fertilization will occur when the big day comes.
However, as I’ll touch on later, there is also evidence that the key to getting healthy sperm is by regularly emptying your sack.
Whacking to porn makes you anxious – In what I suspect to be an example of psychological projection, a standard follow-up to these points is that using porn to get off makes you a social pariah. Echoing the religious types, no fap types also often say that wanking to porn will automatically make you feel guilty, unable to communicate, and have a harder time getting hard.
You are taking control of your sexuality – This idea got popular with Rhodes from what I know relates to the weak fuckers who are unable to not spend their entire day wanking. Anyway, the idea here is that a guy who masturbates or gets laid often is somehow not in control of his sexual interests.
You will experience an increase in testosterone – This is probably the most famous and often-cited argument used by the no fap people. The idea is that “wasting” semen will not only fuck up your hormones but make you lazy, unmotivated, and depressed. If you don’t ejaculate, they say, you will get a rise in testosterone, which will lead to a plethora of health benefits.
When it comes to some of these, there is some truth. But as we’ll see, these ideas are, shall I say, overblown.
Semen retention: the (supposed) advocates
Sometimes, you’ll see some proponents of semen retention citing highly successful celebrities and other noteworthy people who (allegedly) got into the who no fap thing before it was cool. Examples include Muhammad Ali, Nikola Tesla, and the Dalai Lama.
Assuming it’s true, I feel the need to point out that there are a few things that are being left out. For one, Nikola Tesla was a brilliant bloke, but he was effectively asexual. In fact, the closest thing he ever had to a romantic relationship was with a pigeon he rescued. No, really, the lifelong celibate once said, that “I loved that pigeon as a man loves a woman, and she loved me.”
The Dalai Lama is a religious icon, and, given the tenants of hardcore Buddhism, you kind of have to swear off sex and really anything that’s fun. Besides, I don’t think claiming to be the reincarnation of a now three-thousand-year-old dead guy is much of an accomplishment.
Again, I have no idea if Muhammad Ali whacked off regularly, but I know that Cassius Clay was getting laid on the regular. I honestly have no idea why the no fap folks cite him since his life as a ladies’ man was so well known. In fact, there is even talk that Ali was a full-blown sex addict.
Semen retention: the (real) facts
To be fair to the no fap fellas, it is technically true that not busting your balls will increase your testosterone levels, but that’s only in the short term. It is true that semen retention for about a week or so will boost your testosterone levels. Some studies say that this can go on for three weeks, but after that, your levels even out.
Perhaps the best argument against semen retention (other than cutting yourself off from a lot of fun) is the short-term active and long-term preventative health benefits. The most significant one being the reduced chances of getting prostate cancer.
Now, to be honest, if you do look at literature from a decade and a half ago, you will find that the evidence is a bit sketchy when it comes to regular monthly ballbusting is ambiguous. However, if you look at much more recent studies, check out Jennifer Rider (amusingly yes, that actually is her name) and her colleagues published in December of 2016 in the journal of European Urology.
They found that, yes, regular ejaculation is indeed healthy and can prevent disease, and by regular, I mean more than the recommended Taoist teaching of getting off less than a couple of dozen times a year. Based on the research, that’s actually about as much as you should be releasing seed in a month.
To quote the study directly…
“In multivariable analyses, the hazard ratio for [prostate cancer] incidence for [at or less than] 21 [years-old] compared to 4–7 ejaculations per month was 0.81…for the frequency at age 20–29 [years-old] and 0.78…for the frequency at age 40–49 [years-old]. Associations were driven by low-risk disease, were similar when restricted to a PSA-screened cohort, and were unlikely to be explained by competing causes of death.”
And in their summarized climax, the authors say…
“These findings provide additional evidence of a beneficial role of more frequent ejaculation throughout adult life in the etiology of [prostate cancer], particularly for low-risk disease.”
In other words, emptying the stones on a regular basis seems to be the best preventative thing you can do for your prostate health. Sure, you should still get examined if you’re a man of a certain age. XO
Still, I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather get off on the regular and not get cancer rather than withhold baby batter for pseudo-scientific reasons.
I know I hardly have to make a case for this, but releasing a load of semen, but it’s worth pointing out why this is and the real side effects. Whether when you are humping or pumping solo, a good, wet orgasm releases dopamine, one of the big “feel good” hormones and is a natural mood elevator.
A similar chemical associated with swimmer liberation is oxytocin. If you’re by yourself, this hormone can reduce stress, bring about positive feels, and potentially aid in bonding with your significant other.
I’m sure you are aware, but this cocktail of chemicals unleashed from a cock rub can be a good motivator to get up, go out, and do something. Alternatively, since you are in such a relaxed state getting off can be an awesome late-night ritual as well.
Some of this isn’t as clear, but if you look at sources like Healthline, it’s considered possible that regular ejaculation can improve your sperm if you want to make babies in the near future, too.
As you can see so far – and will continue to – most, if not all, of the benefits of #NoFap ain’t.
No ejaculation? Here is what happens
For those of you who didn’t figure this out when you got hit by the puberty fairy – or were too busy constantly cock pumping like me – if you go a few days without a nut, not much will happen. Of course, if you keep that up, you’re going to start acting like a nut.
It depends on the guy, but as guys make semen from adolescence until death, space becomes an issue. Seeing as there is only so much capacity is a sack, if you don’t rub one out now and again, you’ll start getting super squirrelly. With even more time, you will end up pulling an Onan and spilling your seed on the ground (or more likely the sheets) at night by complete accident.
I get how there are guys out there who are into chastity and physically cannot get off since their junk is caged up. Granted, it’s not for me, but it’s one of those BDSM practices which is more common than you would think. In fact, it’s a ritual practice in some cultures like Hindu Tantric practices (maithuna), yoga (sahaja), or as they say in Italian it’s called karezza.
(BTW, time for a little shameless promotion, I have written about how locking your boys up can be a decent way to intensify your orgasms.)
Just be careful, though, and not just for the obvious hygienic reasons and the “pinch” factor. Not ejaculating regularly (read: months at a stretch) is literally deleterious for your health. According to
Besides that, there is the very literal risk of blue balls, and contrary to what you may have heard in school, church, mosque, or through the grapevine, that is a real thing. While your grapes may not go a full shade of beryl, epididymal hypertension can be a pain in the sack and hella distracting.
Another problem with foregoing regular ejaculation includes not being able to cum when you want to, almost as if you’ve got one of the significant symptoms of erectile dysfunction despite having a hard-on.
A related issue is an increased risk of retrograde ejaculation. As the name implies, it’s when your sperm travels up into the bladder instead of out the piss hole via the prostate. This isn’t dangerous in any way. However, in an ironic twist, this can contribute to fertility in rare cases.
To circle back to an earlier point, the supposed benefits of #NoFap either don’t happen, or you experience the opposite.
Still, I think there could be a benefit to holidays like #NoNutNovember
Yes, I really do think there could be a benefit to taking a wet hump or wank break for an extended period of time. As I said, there are plenty of healthy people who otherwise get off regularly, enjoy not doing so for spiritual or kinky reasons. So, I’m not knocking that. Hell, I’ll even say that there’s a small part of me that would maybe consider going that hardcore.
But I think most guys wouldn’t want to go hard getting a master level chastity cage – at least not right off the bat.
With that out there, just liking taking a break from hard drink or ganja can reset your body and lower your tolerance. Taking a break from releasing seed can have the same effect. Now I know that I couldn’t do it for a month, but going on a five day or a week and a half without wanking can be a fun thing, especially if you have the patience for a good long edging session.
So, when it comes to the whole “reset” factor, this may be the most (and only) valid point that the no fap folks make.
If you are going to wait a long while before busting and then copulating with a hookup, just remember the sage advice of my favorite pimp comedian Kat Williams…
https://youtu.be/C3HziZReV-w?t=2407
Since we’re on the topic of getting busy and doing it right, I’ve got even more proud personal promotion for you. To get your gal in the psychological position to get a screaming orgasm, you should know that I’ve got an amazing, thorough, and fun post on that as well.
While you are at it, this article on all of the best female and male erogenous zones. Knowing those special spots are you going to be the best aid for you up there with the Kama Sutra. Being the digital pimp that I am, I’ve got additional resources if you are looking for more ways to safely elevate the orgasms of yourself and your partner, too.
And now something for the ladies
Typically, I try to write these blogs to be applying to as wide an audience as possible. Now clearly, this video has focused on fapping when it comes to guys. Sorry ‘bout it, but that’s the nature of doing a blog on this topic.
However, as ya know, I love the ladies and helping them out however and whenever I can. So, to give ya’ll some advice about where you can enjoy your next masturbatory or sex session guilt-free. If you’re single or have a fun partner who is into porn, I once did a write up on the top twenty porn sites for women and couples.
If you are single or seeing someone, I also did an amazing blog on the most amazing sex toys designed to pleasure lady folk.
By the way, who you ladies who are in relationships, if you haven’t had one (or haven’t had enough), I’ve got an awing guide about how to get a gal to squirt. So, if your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t getting you wet enough done there, I guarantee that blog will make you explode just like this.
By the way, if there are any other ways I could help you ladies out, please let me know. As I have said before, I live to please.
ThePornDude’s final words
Besides other stuff that figuratively chaffs my cock, I occasionally write about topics on health and facts about FAQs related to sex. One of my more recent post which corrects common myths about sex and your body.
Now, I’m not a doctor, nor do I claim to be one on TV. But as a self-professed sex expert and someone who is anal retentive (*cue rim shot*), that article is damn well researched. Same thing with all of the rest of the stuff I write about.
If you’ve got a taste for commentary heavily peppered with my sarcastic and sharp quips, I just posted a blog on government coronavirus guidelines. I don’t care what your politics are after reading that post; you’ll never look at the idiots in political office the same again.
Finally, if you’re looking for advice on freaky stuff to do when you’re in the mood for something a bit different when it comes to bedroom activities with your special someone, I’ve got a blog for you…
As for all of you single wankers, I have all of the lists on porn par excellence. Are you looking to bust regularly, or are you looking for some awesome release after a period of abstinence? Then there are a couple of goto pages that will appeal to anyone. If you’re on a budget, see my favorite free fap pages, and if you have money to blow, then there are dozens of premium sites to look up.
