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People often think (and by that I’m referring to rabid rad feminists) that I don’t care about the feelings of females. That means that in practice that I don’t want them to experience any pleasure at all, which is ridiculous.
After all, I’m ThePornDude, I have made it apart of my identity and career to make women feel good. Forget Cosmo; I’ve got all of the best info for all of you ladies.
It is true that I am always looking out for my fellas; I do enjoy bringing genital joy to the gals as well. I’ve talked a bit about porn for women, but I think now it would be good to go over my recommended sex playthings for people with an XX karyotype persuasion.
There are all kinds of titillating toys to buy (or make yourself) on the internet and in mom and pop sex shops. However, I have done exhaustive research to determine which are the best and think you might want to spend some coin on to get your couchy wet and no longer wanting.
Here are the best store-bought kind
A non-porous, battery-free dildo
Obliviously, I am not a woman, but as a self-described pussy pleasuring expert, I think that I have a good idea around the female erogenous zones and how to arouse them. For beginners, I would recommend this toy as your first purchase.
They are easy to clean, can be concealed in your purse or discretely in other parts of your bedroom, and can be bought on any budget. The sensations can be a bit basic if you don’t know what you are doing, but with practice, you can make the most out of a ten-dollar or less purchase.
A silicone-based, suction-cupped dildo
Like the first sort of toy, this one comes in a variety of sizes, shapes, and has been produced by a ton of different producers. So, you are spoiled for choice when it comes to what to look for and for a specific price.
The added benefit of getting a suctioned-cupped faux dick is that it stays in place, won’t ever get limp, and won’t leave you for a piece-of-shit-douche-bag. That and it won’t get lost in your private space if you drive it deep inside of you.
Run-of-the-mill anal beads, plugs, and the like
Even these days, people seem to get weird about butt stuff for some reason. I’m not sure why, but it’s something which I think people need to push past and accept the pleasure of.
If you think that you might not enjoy it, consider a few things.
For one, women can, in fact, enjoy anal penetration – just look up other blogs of mine or about half of the work of Tristan Termino.
Second, while it can be a bit uncomfortable at first, just use plenty of lube and a little more. With enough butt grease, you are going to have a good time for sure.
Third, butt stimulation is completely different from all the different variants of vaginal pleasure. To be sure, I can’t say that I know it from experience, but from talking to some close female friends, I’m certain of it.
Womanizer 2GO
This is not a generalized toy, but rather a brand-specific one.
Cleverly disguised as a lipstick, this vibrator doesn’t pack a ton of power, but still provides more than enough erotic delight on a single charge. If internet rumors are to be believed, this toy can get a gal off in just under five minutes.
Let me know if that’s true for you – better yet; send me video footage of it.
Happy rabbit g-spot rechargeable vibrator
Honestly, any vibrating item which has the word tied with it is one to look into if you are looking for a toy to play with. I just choose this particular model because it is one of the better ones out on the market.
This sort of toy is fantastic because it can pleasure both front and back holes and has the extra components to stimulate other parts of the female anatomy at the same time.
Honestly, I cannot recommend rabbits enough (other than myself), so treat yo’ self and order one today – you are welcome in advance.
And now for the household and homemade variety
Before we get into it, just be careful what you use. I don’t want any of you women to tear your lovely lady bits up or end up getting an infection. My general guidelines include using clean, well-washed items which have been cleansed using warm water (not hot) and standard, store-bought soap.
A (literal) pearl necklace
No, I don’t mean the sexy sex act where a guy cums on a gal’s upper chest area. I mean using an actual pearl necklace for the pleasure of a male and female partner.
Apparently, this technique is great to enhance a guy’s erection and can give the girl in the equation a boost in sexual sensation.
So, for you ladies who like taking control of the conjugal situation, wrap your guy’s cock with a necklace and do what comes naturally. By that, I mean, stroke your man’s cock up and down until he’s begging you for a rapture-like release.
One personal massager
There are massagers for all kinds of purposes, which, officially, are supposed to provide all kinds of relief to aching muscles around the body. The advertisers never mention that the many versions of this product can be leveraged to pleasure a ladies’ labia.
It doesn’t take that much imagination, but rather a little trial and error to see what you like. I can’t get into too many specifics since everyone is different, but I would recommend applying your massager to your clitoral region first and seeing how that works for you. After that, experiment with areas that you think might provide some erotic joy.
A well-crafted candle can do wonders
Do not, I say again, do not play with this item if it’s lit.
Or do, if you are on the extreme end of begin into fireplay – but still, just be careful.
Anyway, most commercial candles have an appropriately phallic configuration, which will make for some unbelievably enjoyable front-hole punching fun.
If you do like “feeling the burn,” consider adding two candles to the mix – one to put into your lady parts and another lit one to drip hot wax all over your hot body. Try and tell me how it feels – I’ve heard that the sensation is fantastic.
A couple of chopsticks will do the trick
One of the best things that the East Asian culture created is chopsticks by far. Not only are they a good versatile way to grab up food, but they also stimulate señorita bits, too.
After all, with these tools, you can easily please your labial parts, clitoris, and everything in-between. Think that I’m wrong? Try it out for yourself and see what happens. I promise you will find some techniques to please yourself with.
A good old fashioned cucumber
This vegetable is a great substitute for dick – along with unshucked maize, a well-shaped potato, a large peeled carrot, and maybe an eggplant if you’re ambitious. Just be careful about clipping the root-y ends, so you don’t tear up your inner lady bits.
Another piece of produce which comes from the angiosperm side of the plant family tree is the almighty banana. If it’s not at the pre-ripe stage, I’d say keeping the peel on, but otherwise, have fun with this phallic-shaped flora.
The nice thing about using this sort of sex toy is that you can eat the product once you’re finished with it. The sign that you’ve had a good time is that your penetrating piece is soaked in lady liquid.
So those are my recommendations as to how you ladies can create your own fun-time toys, but there are indeed more resources out there. For example, you can look up my introductory guide on how to make your own customized sex toys.
Trust me; this list will help you get off quickly if you’re in a pinch.
ThePornDude’s final words
If you have some money to spend or are looking for some special deals which are rife these days, check out my recommendations of the premium online sex stores, which I recommend.
But that’s just the better relevant material which I have posted and recommend so far – there are surely more to follow. To keep up with my best work, save this page to your preferred browser’s favorites list. I’ve got tons of amazing stuff coming down the pipe, including more luscious listicles, amazing articles, informative interviews with porn celebs, and more.
