FapHouse Anal

The dark star. The stink star. The corn pocket. The chocolate pocket. The rusty starfish. The top bunk. The poop chute. We all know what I'm talking about: the asshole.

Anal Sage

I'm here to be sort of a diplomat for anal sex. I know that not every guy likes to plug the mahogany slide, but I'm here to preach in its favor. Anal sex should be enjoyed by men and women of every race and creed.

Why? Well, there are a few reasons. First and foremost is the anal orgasm. Not everyone is able to have them, but both men and women are capable. Your bitches anus might be the key to giving her orgasms like she never thought possible.

The same could be said for you, good sir. Have you ever had a finger up there? If you have a bitch willing to take the time, you guys might find your cum button is installed on your prostate.

According to a recent study done by the Journal of Sexual Medicine, of the thirty-one percent of women who had engaged in anal during their most recent sexual encounter, ninety-four percent have orgasms. Holy fucking shit, Batman.

Almost just as important is the fact a bitch can't get pregnant. You can pump her asshole with all of the cum you like. There is no such thing as an anus baby.

However, one does have to be careful about cum dripping out of the anus and into the vagina. Make sure a bitch flips on her back after you bust, so it trickles away from her pussy hole.

Alternatively, you can be proactive, get your mouth down there and suck that felch out before it can cause a problem. For the uninitiated, felching is the act of sucking the cum out of someone's asshole. Needless to say, the cum comes out tainted with poo.

Often people say that anal is an alternative to vaginal sex when your girl is on her period, but I don't get it. You're grossed out by a bit of blood coming out your bitches twat, but you're fine with getting the burrito she ate yesterday basted on your boomstick? That makes no sense to me.

It's the taboo factor that often drives people to try anal for the first time. There is something about naughty sexual activity that gets people off. We all love breaking the law and bending societal norms. Anal is a way to do that in the bedroom.

Being comfortable with anal sex opens up a whole new universe of toys for both men and women. You might be one small vibrator away from never jerking off without something in your asshole again. Imagine a cock ring that also squeezes your balls, goes in your ass and vibrates. You better make sure there aren't any cameras around before you use the thing. If your friends catch you making the ahegao face, they'll never let you live it down.

Lastly, you straight fags out there will be happy to know that it can significantly increase intimacy between partners. Bitches that aren't sluts require a lot of trust in their partner before they'll let you merge onto the Hershy highway.

Anal porn is all over the internet. It's not exactly something you have to go hunting for. It's often a part of porn that doesn't even mention anal as an included niche.

But you guys know I wouldn't be here to show you guys just any random anal porn collection. I only fuck with the best of the best, and that's why I'm here now to recommend Fap House.

Fap House is one of the most well-constructed porn sites you'll come across. Web admins of other porn sites should take notice. However, you don't get this kind of quality for free.

Give a Penny, Have a Cum

Fap House is a paid premium site, but it isn't run by a bunch of vulture capitalists. They provide several membership options, allowing users access to their library even if they aren't drowning in gold coins.

The first is a one-month subscription going for twenty bucks. That's fair and competitive pricing. Some sites will try to gouge thirty and even up to fifty dollars for a single month. However, I would only recommend the one-month membership as a trial period. If, after the trial, you're impressed with the service, check out one of the following selections.

The second option is a three-month subscription which costs $47.97. That works out to sixteen dollars a month, which is a substantial discount. However, my readers fortune tellers. You can see far into the future, and no matter how far you go, you're still jerking off. Three months is not nearly enough to sate your worldly desire.

That brings us to a one-year membership which will set you back $143.88. That breaks down to only twelve a month. You won't find many better deals. Many sites won't even offer yearly subscriptions. They stop at six. However, there is still one final option, and it's undoubtedly one of the best deals in internet porn.

Forever Stroking

The final option is one you don't see very often, but it brings me unending joy when I do. Fap House offers a lifetime membership for one easy payment of three hundred dollars. That is a fucking pure insanity.

Let's say you only go on to live for five more years. You'll only have paid five cents a day for access to some of the most fantastic porn ever filmed. Imagine being able to look back on your life as you lay on your death safe in the knowledge that you did as much beating off as possible and all for nearly free.

So what exactly do you get for your half a penny a month? You can find your fetish amongst the three hundred and thirty thousand videos in the Fap House library. That's a metric fuck brick of porn. And not only that, but they add six hundred new videos every fucking day. Not six videos every week. Six hundred videos every day.

How many of those videos include anal? Do I look like I have enough time in the day to examine every video Fap House posts on the daily? Well, yes. But that's beyond the point. I haven't, but from what I can tell after a cursory examination, around one-third to one-half.

The anal section of Fap House already has eleven thousand pages of videos. That should be enough to keep your pecker pecking until the reaper comes for your mortal coil.

All of the content on Fap House is filmed in full HD and 4K. I love nothing more than the exquisite detail of a woman's naked body. I want to be able to see every hair follicle and mole.

Members also have the opportunity to download much of the content on Fap House. I hate for you to be trapped in a place without Wi-Fi when you suddenly notice your balls are packed to the brim with cum.

Fuck a Job

Let's get into some of the content you'll find on Fap House. I'm a huge fan of the studio Tushy. Their video "Girlfriends Alex Grey and Karla Kush Try Anal Together" is a perfect example of why.

Sexy Young blonde Alex (18+) is your classic poor student struggling to make ends meet while still attending class. Her good friend Karla recently got herself a sugar daddy, and she has had tons of expensive shit ever since.

Alex laments to her friend Karla about her money problems, and she suggests something crazy. Why doesn't Alex join Karla on her next sugar daddy visit so they can have a threesome? Alex sees it as the perfect opportunity. However, Karla warns that the hot European sugar daddy can be a perverted freak sometimes. That doesn't scare Alex at all, though.

After arriving at the rich guy's huge house, the three have a few drinks before things get hot and heavy. The evening starts with heavy petting but soon devolves into oral and face sitting. Before long, the ladies are getting both of their holes decimated by this wealthy foreigner. Alex would have done this for free. She can't believe she gets money out of the deal also.

Fap House has everything a fan of the O-ring needs to explode forth with a load onto his computer desk. Don't forget about the lifetime membership.

My only suggestion for Fap House is that they skip advertising for Hampster Live and create their own live streaming service. I bet they would make something everyone will enjoy.

Don't take my word for it. Instead, head over to Fap House and jerk it to pooper porn tonight.