AssParade

Ass galore at Ass Parade, baby! Big titties get a lot of attention in porno, and that’s great, but sometimes you want to focus on a nice, round butt while you’re boxing the one-eyed champ. That’s exactly what Ass Parade serves up with its endless procession of world-class, mouth-watering bubble-butts.

AssParade.com is a premium site on the BangBros network. If you’re not familiar with their work, welcome to the Internet. You can check out my full review of the main BangBros site, but the long and short of it is that they’re one of the biggest and most respected names in online porn right now. Let’s see how well they do booty videos.

I Like Big Butts and I Can Not Lie

AssParade’s landing page calls them “The #1 big ass lover website in the whole wide world! The place where the newest amateur hotties with the biggest roundest asses in the world get fucked hard!” Most porn sites claim to be the biggest and the best in something or other, but in this case it might be true. The sample stills pulled from their videos feature beautiful women with perfect booties masturbating, sucking cock, squirting, and getting fucked up their asses.

The “newest amateur hotties” thing gets me every time. Yeah, maybe the new ones are technically amateurs before they get here, but BangBros ain’t an amateur operation. Mandy Muse is getting butt-fucked right there on the front page. The AVN nominee isn’t exactly a newbie when it comes to getting pounded on camera. I don’t see any pixely webcam stills or vertical iPhone videos, either. None of the samples give off that sloppy, half-baked vibe you get on regular amateur sites.

That whole polished “amateur” thing is what put BangBros on the map with sites like BangBus. Some people really prefer the warts-and-all approach to DIY porn, but these perverts are putting out a more refined product, with better everything: higher video quality, polished camera work, and most importantly, hotter sluts with fucking abilities well above and beyond that of typical mortal women. AssParade represents that formula applied to a premium butt-themed porn site.

AssParade is thirty bucks a month, the standard porn paysite price right now. It’s cheaper for long memberships, or you can get a cheap trial. I also found if you linger around, hit the sign-up page and then back out, they might offer you a 10% discount.

Check Out This Archive of Ass

AssParade has been around a long-ass time, and membership gets you access to the full archive stretching back to 2004. That’s a lot of butt movies! The exact number isn’t listed, but I counted nearly 800.

It’s interesting to see how the site has progressed over the years. They’ve always had women with gorgeous, round booties getting fucked, but the overall polish has improved with age. BangBros have clearly learned a lot.

The amount of anal penetration has definitely increased over the years, too. They know what perverts want in a site with Ass in the name! The earlier flicks had girls showing off their succulent booties but actual butt-fucking was still relatively rare. It looks like about half of the new updates have anal sex in them.

True enthusiasts of God’s blind spot might be a little disappointed that this site’s real focus is beautiful asses, not necessarily anal. They update weekly, though, so most months do include a couple of fresh new scenes with butthole-hammering. Considering the level of talent on display, AssParade will give any movie-a-week anal site a run for its money.

The selection of girls is ridiculous, too. If you spend a decent amount of time rubbing yourself raw to Internet porn, you’ve definitely seen a bunch of the babes getting smashed on AssParade. Canela Skin, Luna Star, and Diamond Kitty have all starred in AssParade videos within the last couple months.

The Phatest Booties in the Game

The newest clip came out today and it already has over 8,000 views and a 95% Like rating. It’s a 40-minute scene called Mandy Muse’s Anal Musing, starring the aforementioned pornstar and her phat booty.

Mandy is a prime example of what AssParade is all about. When she walks into the scene wearing tiny cutoff shorts, you go, “Oh, there’s that ass parade they mentioned!” The girl’s got a tight top half and some glorious junk in the trunk. I wanted a bite immediately, but settled for watching her struggle into different pairs of pants for a while. Most of them barely fit over those thick, juicy thighs.

The setup is tantalizing as hell. If BangBros were really a bunch of amateurs, I’d immediately have skipped to the Blowjob, Doggystyle, or Anal bits I see in the video’s tags. The pre-banging game of dress-up is just done so well you’ll want to keep watching, even as it has you aching for some heavier action.

It’s sexy enough that I clicked the download button long before I finished cranking it to this video. You can download AssParade movies in a variety of video resolutions for future stroke sessions. There are also a couple of huge galleries of Photos and Screencaps, which can be downloaded as Zip files with a click.

Ten minutes in, the stud can no longer keep his hands to himself and starts licking her asshole. I don’t know how he waited that long. It’s pretty much on from there, culminating in an explosive 4K ultra-HD cumshot all over that pretty face.

After wiping myself clean with what remained of the tissue I started with, I clicked on Mandy Muse’s name beneath the video. She’s got a bunch of movies spread across the BangBros network, including a dozen just for AssParade. I guess I know what I’m doing this weekend.

The Latest and Greatest Asses in the World

The AssParade never seems to end, and it’s so much more fun than getting your ears blown out by firetrucks on the fourth of July. You may be at risk of blowing out that silicone anus, though, and you’d better stock up on lube to prevent chafing. There are a lot of flawless butts to shake your ugly dick at.

After checking out the newest stuff, I sorted the list by Top Rated. They seem to be weighted towards new stuff, as they’re mostly clips from the last year. Hey, I get that. As I said, they’ve improved over the years and added more anal. The name of the very top clip, Canela Skin Craves Anal and Squirting, needs no explanation. I will, however, need about 40 minutes viewing time before continuing this write-up.

Sorting by Favs gives you a different selection of AssParade’s clips. I’m not sure how these are selected, but there’s more older stuff. The top one here is a 2011 scene called Valerie Kay’s Sweet Ass. It’s about a Latina with the baddest ass riding cock. Despite the age, it still goes up to 1080p. BangBros have always been ahead of the curve.

The Views option lets you see which movies have been watched the highest number of times. Right now, it’s a 2015 clip called AssParade Orgy At The Gym. Perfect butts in a group-sex situation? Count me in, or at least let me watch.

The fact that AssParade is on a sprawling network of sex sites complicates membership just a little bit. AssParade alone is worth the membership price if you love porn with nice butts, but you’re better off getting a BangBros package deal with a bunch of sites. Your best bet is probably to sign up through the main BangBros site to avoid any shifting promotional offers and packages.

So, is AssParade really the best booty-themed porn site ever? I’m less skeptical than I was when I first started typing this up. Their production is stellar, there’s a ton of movies, and the women are beautiful, talented, and well-endowed on the bottom-end. It’s not strictly an anal sex site, but there’s enough to please any fan of butthole penetration. Enthusiasts of perfect butts will be in heaven.