Dudes are always looking for the biggest, best thing. We want to drive monster trucks through mansions, feeling up on sluts with the hugest boobs. When it comes to sticking our dicks in holes, though, bigger and better actually means smaller and tighter. Yeah, gentleman, I’m talking about the butthole here, the topic of conversation over at ElegantAnal.
Well, maybe “conversation” ain’t the right word. There’s always a little talking going on, but Elegant Anal is not the place for philosophical discussions about rectal pleasure and sexual identity in the #metoo era. No, this is a sex site where you can see pornstars get their bleached assholes filled by huge cock.
Quality Assbangs for Your Buck
Okay, the first thing to know about ElegantAnal is that it’s a paysite. That means cheapskates and library masturbators will have to keep getting their anal fix on the free tubes, complete with a side order of dick-pill spam. If you’re beating off at Starbucks, order a venti instead of a tall and your wallet will be fine. Just try not to get arrested again.
The second thing to know is that ElegantAnal is actually part of the BabesNetwork. Check out the full Porn Dude review if you get the chance. The long and short of it is that they’re putting out quality porno with a wide variety of porn whores. If they’re doing butt-sex movies, I want to take a look.
Standard membership is $30 a month, the same price every premium site charges these days. It goes down to about $10 if you buy a whole year at a time. They advertise a one-buck, two-day trial on the front page, but be careful with that. If you don’t cancel, they rebill your dumb ass at higher than the standard rate.
BabesNetwork takes credit cards, which are a form of online payment favored by most well-adjusted adults. They also take checks, cryptocurrency, and unused gift cards, so you can still sign up if you’re old, a cyber-criminal, or just willing to admit you like pornography more than Applebee’s. Sorry, mom.
Porn networks sometimes have confusing pricing schemes. I’m not sure if you get the whole Babes Network when you sign up at Elegant Anal, but I do know it works the other way around. The sign-up page doesn’t really say. I’d probably grab my membership from the main network site just to make sure I got the full package.
Let’s Get Into Some Butt Stuff
Once you’re logged in, you’ll pass through an upsell page on your way to the central Babes page. Sometimes the package just isn’t big enough, am I right? I’ve seen the free-tube spam. Well, don’t worry; there are plenty of other sites to add on to your subscription if you want to throw some cash around.
This site really wants you to get loose with that money. Big images of hotties getting stuffed with cock slide across the screen, advertising some of the network’s newest offerings. Among those images is an ad, saying I can UNLOCK DOWNLOADS and START DOWNLOADING! The offer is repeated in an obnoxious ad floating at the bottom of the screen.
Downloads are an extra $15 a month, which really sucks because I just picked up a new SD card. I do like that they just put it out there instead of waiting until I clicked a Download button to spring it on me. Extra fees for downloads are often a mark of quality, though; the studios can only charge more when people are willing to pay.
By default, the site shows you all the new stuff on the BabesNetwork. Overall they’re putting out a new porno movie every 3 days. The newest one was an ElegantAnal movie called The Breeders: Part 3, starring Steve Holmes and Gia Derza. The preview shows a horny professor fucking a beautiful young student’s ass in his office.
Unfortunately, the regular releases are scattered across the network. Make your way to the ElegantAnal section and you’ll see the site-specific output isn’t quite as consistent, at least not here. They usually have at least one new anal bang movie per month, sometimes two or even three, but sometimes they do skip a month.
This isn’t going to be a huge issue for most perverts, since a network subscription ensures a wide range and steady stream of high-quality, hardcore smut. That slow anal release rate is going to be a much harder sell if you’re a true enthusiast, signing up for the funky butt-lovin’ and nothing else.
ElegantAnal’s archive of elegant anal sex goes back to 2014, with a movie called Come In My Back Door featuring Ivana Sugar. There are currently about a hundred movies. It’s not the biggest collection of premium buttfuck movies I’ve ever seen, but it will take you a long time to spank your way through them all.
Big-Name Pornstars in Teeny, Tiny Holes
One of the more recent movies is a dive-bar themed anal fuck movie which they’ve helpfully titled Dive Bar Anal. The name helps take some of the guesswork out of it, as does the thumbnail of Cherie Deville on top of a bar with her tits out. It’s clearly a porn set bar, but the illusion of public anal with a pornstar is enough to get me rock hard in an instant.
It’s a half-hour clip and starts playing immediately with no buffering. The video quality is set automatically based on my connection speed, but I can’t tell what it is or even seem to change it. Maybe I hit some bug today, but the resolution is more than passable at full screen so I’m good.
The scene gets to the action right away. Cherie exchanges some nonsense banter with costar and celebrity cock Ramon Nomar before she climbs on the bar and starts taking her clothes off. The grope-fest is accompanied by some serious cheeseball music, but whatever, the slut looks incredible.
Four minutes in, Cherie spins around and shows the big, flashy diamond plug stuck up her ass. She gives him one of her famous blowjobs first, but he’s boning her in the back door within minutes. The way he pounds makes me reconsider the definition of the word “elegant”. Honestly, I’d prefer what he’s having to any kind of fine dining experience.
BabesNetwork has the standard Like, Dislike and Favorite buttons below the video. Beside them is that bastard Download button that I won’t touch, because I already know where it leads. Midway through the flick, as this blonde whore bounced her asshole on the dude’s dick, I almost signed up to save the scene.
A bunch of Related Scenes are lined up at the bottom of the page, so I have more fodder if I don’t pop during Cherie’s performance. Beneath the related scenes is a big banner listed under Trusted Partners. It’s a beautiful Ebony babe squirting, eating cock and getting her asshole stretched, but it’s essentially spam on a paysite.
Finding Something to Bitch About
Some of my biggest complaints about ElegantAnal boil down to the fact that they want money for anal movies. I’m not sure if that says more about them or me. Every store, restaurant or whorehouse in the world has more to offer if you’ve got more to spend. BabesNetwork and ElegantAnal just bring the same old salesmanship to online porn movies.
Besides the upsells, the only other thing that might concern me is the lack of updates. Thirty bucks is a lot to pay for one booty-slamming flick every month. Again, this is if you’re looking only at ElegantAnal. BabesNetwork releases plenty of material, including a lot of anal scenes that aren’t put out as part of ElegantAnal. That’s one of the good things about going with a network instead of an individual site.
ElegantAnal.com’s biggest selling point isn’t volume, though. The selling point is that they’re not half-assing these ass movies. No, they’re going full-ass every time. You get to reap the benefits. It’s worth it as part of a network subscription and adds a lot of anal value to your bundle.