Back in the old days, if you mentioned free sex tubes you’d end up with a line of eager felching enthusiasts outside your door. That’s actually why they outlawed the sale of gerbils in my town. These days, free sex tubes are something else entirely. This brings us to X Movies For You.
XMoviesForYou.com is more along the lines of what the modern pervert expects when you offer him a sex tube, yet at first glance looks like something else entirely. Are they behind the times or ahead of the curve? I guess there’s only one way to find out.
What the Hell is Going On Here?
Those tubes I mentioned tend to follow a pretty specific format, so it’s slightly shocking to see something else. I mean, unless you’re Amish or some shit. In that case, you may be shocked by the giant image of Adriana Chechik’s legs over her head and her twat stretched out by a giant cock.
Instead of the usual wall of porn thumbnails, you expect on a site giving out sex movies, XMoviesForYou hits you with a blog-style layout. Each thumbnail still links to a dirty movie, but instead of a solid grid you get a bunch of boxes with a lot of text. Too much text, honestly. You get a title and the first sentence of a synopsis, and that takes up as much room as the pic.
That big pic of Adriana’s cooter takes up as much screen property as a handful of the others. It’s either the newest, or they just want me to see it. Either way, the couple dozens scenes on the front page were added today. The site’s got a weird format that I’m not sure I like, but at least they’re updating all the time.
Watching Movies Through a Weird-Looking Tube
I know what most of you are you thinking: who gives a fuck about the layout? You’re more interested in the porn, right? It certainly looks good from the outside. Among the interracial threesomes and teen blowjobs are some cuckold sessions and taboo scenes. I’ve always been into that pseudo-incest, so I click a thumbnail of a chick on her knees, gawking at her step-dad’s cock.
The actual video page, like the rest of XMoviesForYou, doesn’t look like a tube. The presentation is blog-style again. I get a short video description and a bigger image of the chick on the floor at the top. I also get the weirdest sense of deja vu; I think I banged this chick one time and then blacked out from all the Viagra I railed. Instead of the usual single video player like on every other site, there are three embedded on the page.
I clicked play on the first player on the screen. It buffered for about ten seconds before this tired and beautiful chick appeared on the screen, flipping through a book. Daddy comes up behind and starts rubbing her shoulders.
I skipped ahead to the doggystyle scene and it hit me. I know where I remember this chick from! I saw her getting boned on DadCrush, although maybe I just remember that from the watermark on this hour-long porno movie.
Watch Some Porn, but Watch Where You Step
The movie I watched, Katie Kush Fondled and Fucked by Stepdad, is clearly pirated from another site. You can tell from the watermark, the fact that it’s a full-length scene and the fact that XMoviesForYou doesn’t even host the file. The video players embedded in the page are from third-party file hosts.
Hosting the smut on sites like OpenLoad frees XMoviesForYou from any liability about the stolen shit. That’s good and bad for you. It’s good because you can watch premium porn and not have to pay for anything. It’s bad because those hosts come with a hot, sticky wad of their own issues. For one thing, they put three of them on the page because those hosts aren’t known for their reliability.
I got lucky with two out of three of the players on the page. They played the movie without much problem besides more buffering than I like. The third link sent me to some weird spam page that claimed I was about to watch a video, and then either sent me to the Google app store or a really good fake meant to steal personal information. What do you expect when you’re dealing with thieves?
I was going to write that the third-party hosts made it easy to download from XMoviesForYou. That’s usually the case on sites like this. I imagine you can save the movies if you do some digging around, but I couldn’t find any easy way to do it directly from the site. That’s a damn shame, because most sites like this give you easy access to both streaming and downloading. It’s going to be a deal-breaker for some of you.
I’m using an ad-blocker, which I’m sure you are too unless you’re really old or fairly retarded. My blocked spam count for the site after watching this one video is 20. I’ve also got a message from my browser saying XMoviesForYou is trying to load scripts from unauthenticated sources. I barely know what that means, but I know it ain’t good.
Where’s the Beef? Or the Tuna?
The front page layout was so sparse I wasn’t sure if XMoviesForYou even had tags or categories. There’s no link in the header to any kind of master list like you’ll find on most tube sites. In fact, there’s really not much header to the site at all. There’s a logo, a Home link, and a search icon. Nothing else.
It seemed fucking weird for any kind of porn site to go without basic organization, but it’s already a weird-looking site. I did end up finding some info beneath that Katie Kush movie, though.
The clip was posted in the categories Blonde and Teen, and Tagged with DadCrush and Katie Kush. For an hour-long scene, that’s a pretty skimpy number of categories and tags. You’re not going to find this clip if you’re searching for cocksucking, spooning, or doggystyle, even though that’s all in there.
I guess the good news is they have a dozen more Katie movies, and 8 whole pages of clips stolen from DadCrush. The Blonde and Teen archives are, naturally, hundreds of pages deep. There’s a fucking ton of material here, even if it’s not organized half as well as it could be.
Using site names as tags will either annoy you or thrill you, depending on where you stand on piracy and how you find your porn. The frustrating thing here is that lack of a list. To find anything here, whether it’s a teen fisting movie or the newest TrueAnal release, you’ll have to know what you’re looking for and hope it’s tagged correctly.
A Fair Trade for Some Smut?
A bit of spam for some free porn is the regular trade that any tube asks you to make. Sites that specialize in premium content, like XMoviesForYou, tend to have more spam than the rest. That’s no surprise here. You’re going to be hard pressed to find paysite material somewhere without a shit-ton of spam, a lot of it potentially dangerous. Spam is a problem on this site, but I don’t think it’s worse than most other sites like it.
XMoviesForYou’s biggest problem isn’t the spam, or even the fact that it doesn’t follow the standard sex tube format we all know and love. It’s not even the fact that they make you fuck around with other file hosts.
The problem with this odd-looking tube site is that there’s very minimal organization. The videos are not tagged well, and there’s no page of Categories or Tags. You can’t really browse the site with something vague in mind unless you want to play with the search bar.
In the end, that’s probably not a bad trade for some free porn that would otherwise cost you at least $30 a month. That’s the price of just one paysite, but XMoviesForYou is like a ton of sites rolled into one. I prefer beating off to sites with better sorting for their massive collections. XMoviesForYou will do the trick if you’re not that picky, but want something polished, full-length and free.