Xpanded

XXXpanded! My dick Xpanded this morning as I checked out the website of the same name, which is precisely what you want in any decent adult entertainment platform. But, of course, it’s easy enough to catch my ding-dong’s attention with a flash of cleavage or a pretty face with a fuck-me expression; the challenge is maintaining my attention when I’ve got a whole internet full of porno to choose from. It isn’t like Xpanded is some unheard of, untested operation, though, having been around for the better part of two decades. That alone tells me as much about their quality as the nearly million visitors they’re pulling every month.

So just what exactly is Xpanded.com hawking that you can’t get from any random free video tube, nude blog, or premium bukkake network? The big gimmick here is intimacy, a type of one-on-one connection you can’t get from any big studio. According to the little blurb at the bottom of the landing page,  “xxXpanded is number one for phone sex and live adult cams with the hottest UK and international babes.” It’s the kind of bold claim I expect from anybody with peep show tickets to sell, so I had to look into those statements for myself.

Show Me to the Naked Girls

Why do UK cam sites put aside the usual thumbnail layout you get with any of the giants or the wannabes? The front page of Chaturbate, LiveJasmin, and a thousand imitators all look virtually identical. And while you can complain about lack of originality, it’s hard to really complain about that presentation. It lets you know right away you’re on a live webcam sex site, and it gives immediate access to a full-screen picture menu of the babes so you can get right into it.

Is it an English thing to hide the good stuff behind the thinnest veneer of tasteful, classy sophistication? Not to be crass, but we’re all here to shake our dicks at naked ladies on the internet until blowing a load into an old gym sock. We don’t need the glamorous but nipple-free stock photos out front to usher us inside. We just need to be inside, where the actual live women are.

Thankfully, they’re just behind the button marked Enter. Xpanded doesn’t have the moving previews you see on many modern cam sites, giving you a glimpse of a show in progress. That’s because Xpanded doesn’t really have a lot of shows in progress, at least not ones you can see for free. That’s going to be an immediate buzzkill for those of you looking for a free fap to live sex. (In that case, you’ll want one of the more prominent, more popular spots on my list of Free Sex Cam Sites.)

I do like the range of different women working on Xpanded. I was expecting it all to be UK chicks, but they’ve got a surprisingly extensive selection of American broads, too. There are white girls, black girls, Latinas, and some Asians. I immediately see college bimbos and MILFs, BDSM fetish models, and some straight-up pornstar-looking sluts.

Where’s the Live Action?

Most cam sites have a bunch of shows going on that you can jump into as you please, but Xpanded.com is more of a cam-on-demand and phone sex site. About half of the girls on the page have a Live Cam button, each of which shuffles you along to a profile page where you can pay to initiate a webcam show. Another button invites you to join a Group Chat, but there’s no indication if the model even has one going on at the moment. Sometimes you’ll see a Cam Busy icon, but the same paid chat options are still identical.

There are a couple of babes on the screen whose icon reads Live TV. In that case, you can watch them on Xpanded TV. You can watch it on your TV, or there’s a live stream available. Either way, you get to watch pretty girls having a conversation you can’t hear while techno music plays. In addition, there are phone numbers all over the screen if you want to call in and listen to their voices. I’m underwhelmed as a jaded internet masturbator and cam fan, but some folks might like that they’ve included a free SFW call-in show.

The Live TV and Live Cam models are outnumbered on Xpanded by the Live Phone women, at least when I visited the site. Click on one of these lovely ladies, and you’ll get a button to call her on the phone instead of the webcam chat options of the live cam girls. It isn’t exactly rocket science, and that’s probably a big part of why Xpanded.com has been around as long as it has. They make it easy to call one of these camwhores and sexy models on the phone. Most of you have forgotten phone calls are even a thing, but yeah, people still do that. Sometimes.

You can hear a little recording of the chat girl’s voice before deciding to pay for the live version. For those of you who want to take it a step further, there’s a feature where you can turn on your Caller Cam and make her watch as you tug on that ugly little thing until it squirts an opaque goo all over your fat, hairy gut. I’m sure she’d absolutely fucking adore that, even more so if you tip well.

So What’s In It For Me?

Some of you oldsters and long-haul truckers may remember the old days of calling amateur phone sex lines listed in the back of sticky-paged porno magazines. They were printed on this weird glossy shit called paper but had many of the same features of a modern adult website. They didn’t have a schedule, so you never knew if the girl was ready for a call, if she was sleeping, or working her day job. Sometimes you’d hear her little crotch fruit screaming in the background while she told you how your monster sausage made her kitty cat so wet, you stud.

Xpanded solves that in one killer blow by letting girls put up that Live Cam or Live Phone icon. You’ll see dozens of available girls listed at any moment. Go beyond the first page, though, and you’ll enter a no man’s land where every bikini model, goth whore, and undersexed mum has an Offline stamp below her smile, pout, or stupid duck face.

Xpanded.com gets a level of traffic that’s hard to explain when you compare it to other sites. Their selection of available models is laughable by the standards of any big webcam site. Even escort directories make the menu here look tiny. Yet Xpanded pulls hundreds of thousands of visits a week with what seems to be a lot less to offer than the other guys.

What’s their secret, then? I’m guessing it’s in the dying art of phone sex. It’s a format that’s lost much of its appeal with the advent of the webcam. If you’re going to pay by the minute, most modern perverts would prefer to at least gawk at the babe’s boobs while she’s speaking in a breathy whisper.

There are subsets of masturbators who prefer the older formats, though. That’s why you still see some of those old-time paper magazines wrapped in plastic on the top shelf of magazine racks, even though you’ve only ever beat off to the internet. I’m guessing Xpanded has stuck around for a similar reason.

Maybe it’s not so much nostalgia as it is familiarity. You finally convinced granddad to upgrade to a flip phone, and you think he’s going to learn webcams next? Get the fuck out of here. Then again, I fall into the vast subset of people who don’t really like talking on the phone. If you’re into it, how many places still list phone sex numbers anymore?

What does Xpanded.com have that the big, popular webcam sites don’t have? Phone sex numbers. The site has a few women willing to give on-demand cam shows, sure, but the bigger draw is going to be for people who prefer the kind of intimacy you can only get talking on an actual phone. If that’s more appealing to you than chatting through a screen, you might want to take a look at Xpanded’s menu of mobile dirty talkers.