YouJizz

Welcome to You Jizz (not "ujizz" or "jizz tube")! According to a 2010 press release from the net filtering firm, Optenet, 37% of all the content on the internet is porn. Although this exact number has been contested by subsequent studies (that used different metrics, it is worth noting), there is no question that a significant portion of all content on the web is dedicated to getting off.

This should come as no surprise, though, considering that sex is one of the universal languages (alongside music). Don’t believe me? Say you go to Japan with zero knowledge of the language. You need to get to a distant city, so you take a train. Sitting in the seat across the aisle from you is a beautiful Japanese girl in a short plaid skirt and knee-high stockings. You notice her kind of eyeing you from her seat, but you shrug it off. Maybe it’s just a cultural thing, you think. Look away momentarily, look out the window, check out the scenery.

You can’t help yourself from thinking of that sexy 18+ Japanese schoolgirl, though, so you steal another quick glance. This time she is staring right at you and biting her lip. Her hands slowly start to move up her thigh. She parts her legs slightly. She hasn’t broken eye contact with you. Her hand keeps going up and up, until she’s gently rubbing her clit and seductively biting her finger. No words are necessary. She most certainly wants your dick. What are you waiting for, you jackass, you better go across that aisle and join her!

Sex, in other words, is one of the most deeply rooted human needs. Of course, it’s no surprise to learn, then, that sexual content dominates the internet, a place where the entire human race shares all of its knowledge and interests with one another.

That being said, since there is a dizzying amount of pornography on the web, it can be hard to sift through it all and separate the primo from the trash. Of all the adult sites on the web, many of them are porn tube sites. In the past decade or so, the tube site has risen to become the new industry standard of free porn. Gone are the days of file sharing and sneaking videos on Youtube. The tube is king. But there are just so many tube sites to choose from.

Which is exactly why I’m here, to tell you which sites are fap-worthy and which are trash. You’ve probably heard of Pornhub, Redtube, and Youporn (they dominate the tube porn industry). But have you ever heard of a site called Youjizz.com? No? Alright, why don’t we take a look then?

Me Jane, You Jizz

I love a site with a fun and straightforward name. You Jizz. It says everything it needs to say, it’s quick, and it’s easy to remember. Way too frequently I have stumbled upon really awesome tube sites and have been unable to remember what they were called when I went to go try to find them again. With Youjizz, it is highly unlikely that you’ll forget. If you’re at a loss, all you have to do is think about what you do with most of your time off: you jizz. Oh, yeah, how could I forget!?

As if their name was memorable enough, right under the logo on Youjizz’s home page, it says “Yes, sir!” and the O and the U of Youjizz are turned into the face of a winking aristocrat—the O is an eye with a monocle, the U is the wink, and there’s a mustache below the two letters, a top hat above. Finally, a site has come along to make jazzing classy again!

Much like the site’s name, the site itself is straight to business from the moment you arrive on the home page. No explanations or mission statements or any unnecessary bullshit keeping you from your porn. Just a navigation bar up top and a list of thumbnails that go on for hundreds and hundreds of pages.

Let’s Get Down to Business

The thumbnails are all really high quality. They’re the good thumbnails, too. None of that still image bullshit. Instead, when you hover your mouse, clips from the video play to preview it. And the site doesn’t seem to suffer any kind of lag because of it. That’s the way it should be, people. With so many sites to choose from, you really have to offer the best of the best when it comes to site features if you’re going to survive.

In addition to countless great porn clips to choose from as soon as you enter the site, Youjizz also offers what seems to be a decent navigation bar to help you sift through all their content. Easily toggle between popular videos, newest videos, top videos (of the week, month, or all-time), random videos, an enormous list of tags to choose from, or a list of porn stars featured on the site.

What’s great about this feature is that, no matter which of these options you choose, Youjizz does not bother bringing you to a whole new page; you stay on the original page, only the content that appears is changed. This is a design feature that I wish more sites would embrace. It makes browsing the site so much easier and faster.

Losing Steam…

Other tabs on the navigation bar include “Live Sex,” “VR Porn,” “Meet & Fuck,” “Porn Games,” and “HD.” Clicking “Live Sex” will bring you to Youjizz’s very own adult cam site, which is always a nice touch (not to mention it is somewhat rare for a lesser-known tube site to host their own camming space).

“VR Porn” seems to be a bullshit link, though, that takes you to a random site (most of them are 3rd party cam sites), so that is nothing more than a shitty, misleading ad. The same thing is true of “Meet & Fuck.” This will just bring you to Adult Friend Finder. Don’t even get me started on that…

Click on “Porn Games” and you are also brought to a randomized 3rd party site. At least with this tab, though, each time you click on it you are brought to something related. Unlike Youjizz’s “VR Porn” tab. So, I suppose if you are looking to register for a membership and download a porn game, you can find a bunch by clicking there.

I’d almost given up at this point on the rest of the tabs of the navigation bar being at all useful, until I clicked on “HD.” I assumed that it was going to bring me to another site that hosts HD videos and charges, or to a place where Youjizz would try to coerce me into a paid membership to access HD videos. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to see Youjizz filter the videos on the page to display only High Definition content. Don’t let the non-HD aspect ratio of some of these thumbnails fool you; they are all actually HD when you open them.

Although you do not have to register for a Youjizz account in order to view any of the videos they offer (well, except to interact with the cam girls), they do allow you to sign up for free. This allows you to upload videos, like videos, and save videos. I must say, these features are not nearly enough to persuade me to go through the trouble of registering an account with Youjizz. You can’t comment on videos or interact with other users in any way, shape, or form. I would expect to see way more interactivity options if I were going to consider registering for a site like this.

You Jizz, You Pay

One final thing to consider when putting Youjizz up against other similar tube sites: ads. And Youjizz definitely has them. First, there’s a pop-up ad that occurs on your first click on the site (so fucking annoying). There are also ads to the right of and at the bottom of video pages, as well as at the bottom of the home page. As if that wasn’t frustrating enough, Youjizz also plays ads before videos start; ads even appear when you pause the videos.

This, for me, is an unacceptable number of ads. As you can see, I don’t advertise at all here at Theporndude.com, and I get by just fine. An adult website should exist to provide the user with an enjoyable, pleasurable, and easy experience, not to try and fucking sell him shit.

I’m not an unreasonable person or anything. I am willing to look the other way for a few tastefully placed ads here and there, so long as they are out of the way and not interrupting my enjoyment of the website. But if you make me wait to watch a video, open a new page on my browser, or try to fucking trick me, I’m just not fucking having that. This is unacceptable.

But, unfortunately, this is just par for the course with so many porn sites. I wish more sites would step their game up and veer away from this kind of shit, but whatcha gonna do? All in all, ads aside, I think Youjizz is a pretty solid tube site with great content and an easy to navigate design. Although I’m probably not going to fap to it right now because I’m pissed about the ads, I will probably come back and give it a shot…a cumshot, that is. Happy fapping, degenerates!