TERB

TERB Forums aka Toronto & Ontario Escort Review Baord! Hmm, how to get your dick sucked in Canada? So, your work sends you off to Canada, in the middle of winter, and you’re sitting there in your hotel room with nothing better to do than sample the local maple syrup and catch the hockey game that you could give a fuck about. You sit there bored, trying to take your mind off the pressures of the client meeting for you early next morning. You need to relax…but how? What is there to do? That’s when the inspiration comes to you. Backpage.com, of course! But then the awful memory comes to you… of course… that directory of escort and other shady services, the one place that can save you from a night time of lameness in the middle of this bastard shitstain stepchild of America, was shut down by the goddamn government earlier this year.

But have no fucking fear, because Terb.cc is fucking here. Terb.cc is a Canadian forum specializing in finding escorts and massage parlous in the Greater Toronto area and other strange corners of that liberal hellhole. The forum is a thriving community of tens of thousands of posts that cover discussions for agencies, independent escorts, “massage” parlors, and even lamer shit like therapeutic massage if you’re shy about your small dick.

And if you’re outside of Toronto in bumfuck moose county, or in the city where they only speak French, there’s help for you as well. In addition to the GTA (Greater Toronto Area), there’s also active sub-forums that cover Ottawa, Kingstom, Durham, Peterborough, and all kinds of other areas that nobody in their goddamn mind would ever go near unless looking for an early cold death in a pile of moose shit. That’s right. You could be in the middle of some fucked up cabin in the middle of a snowy winter surrounded by cock lovers who attach “eh?” to every goddamn sentence, but you can still get your dick sucked. The internet is an amazing invention.

A strangely large and active user base…

The first thing you’ll find out about terb.cc (whatever the FUCK that means) is that there are a shitload of horny Canadians lurking around on this site. No doubt there’s nothing better to do up there. The site statistics include almost 5 million posts, over 500,000 threads, 168,000 members, and typically over a thousand users online at any time. I couldn’t figure out the history of the site, but there are posts active going all the way back to 2009. So the site has had a long and successful history and continues to have a loyal following today. What that means for you is that the information on the website is going to be fresh, detailed, and extensive. Hell, you can probably find a moose to fuck if you ask nicely enough. Just don’t forget to randomly insert apologies into every other sentence for no goddamn reason, you know, just to blend in.

Clean and simple vBulletin design

Now when you first enter the forum, the first weird thing you’re gonna discover is that for some reason these mofos have the “general” boards at the top of the forums. That’s right, instead of getting down to business, apparently, the Canadians are so goddamn friendly that they want you to come say hello in their “Lounge”, and catch up on “Sports Discussion” and all kinds of other mainstream shit that you already have better places to discuss. Quora? Reddit? FUCK OFF. I want to discuss my eating habits with the rest of you Canadian degenerates in-between beating off to the escort ads. At least, I think that was the site creator’s intention.

On the other hand, this is the type of shit that makes this forum so goddamn popular. All these low life degenerates apparently find camaraderie and brotherhood amongst their fellow whore-buying countrymen, or hell, maybe its just another example of them being “polite”. It’s pretty goddamn disgusting how active the Politics and Religion discussions are on this website. No doubt Justin Trudeau browses it to get policy ideas. As expected, the forum is infested with some real small-dicked liberals, although the conservative voices are strong and well-represented as well.

The fact that this place has a real thriving community means that this place will have the user reviews to give you reassurance that you won’t go home with herpes in your mouth, or worse, cuffs around your wrists. They even have people buying and selling shit in this place. Goddamn. “Please buy my furniture that I fucked that Quebec slut on, eh? Sorry for the shit stains!”

Escorts and Dick Massages

The most popular forums are the holy trinity of Escort Agencies, Independent Escorts, and Massage Parlours. You’ll find hundreds of horny degenerate Canadian cucks sifting through these at any time, just so you know you’re not the only one bored to tears in that frozen wasteland of Tim Horton’s shitty coffee. Many of the threads are started by the agencies and models, so you can check out the ads and then click on the outbound links to their websites for further “inspection”. Don’t forget to take your moose-skin condoms.

Looking to fuck the boy pussy of a Justin Trudeau look-alike? Well, I’m afraid you may be shit outta luck. The website does maintain a forum for Bi, Gay, and Tranny, but there are only five threads, compared to thousands in the other forums. I guess Canadians aren’t as mentally fucked up as Americans, who consider gender to be a social construct? God knows, but the point is, this forum does not cater to the man lovers. They probably just meet at the local pub gloryholes, instead of paying for it like us pathetic straight men.

What I like about the site

The site is a fairly straightforward forum built on the vBulletin format. This is a good thing because if you are an internet-obsessed lurker like I am, then it’ll be a very familiar format that you’ve encountered hundreds of times already. There really aren’t any surprises when it comes to the layout, and you’ll be able to navigate the forums just fine unless you are blind and/or a complete idiot.

Another thing that’s great is that it's quite comprehensive, maybe even too comprehensive. They even have sections for things like Special Events, Recruitments, a “Selfie” Forum, and as previously stated, they cover all kinds of Canadian provinces that I’ve never heard of. This is the de-facto one-stop shop for getting your dick sucked in Canada as you chow down some poutine.

What I hate about the site

A lot of spam. Absolutely no surprises here, and for a site like this it’s probably better to err on too much bullshit than not enough content. But all the major forums will basically be blanketed by escort and massage services under their official accounts, which get regularly re-spammed to ensure they stay on the front page as long as possible. It should also be noted that the majority of posts are via paid advertising, so it’s not like the services will be organically ranked and rated based on the actual quality of service. On the other hand, there are thousands of user reviews as well, although you’ll need to sign up to read some of em. Just stay alert about which posts are full of shit, which are advertisements, and which are genuine posts by fellow horny degenerates trying to lend you some good advice.

Conclusion

Overall, if you find yourself in Canada and need to relieve some stress, TERB has got your back. The website covers so many areas of moose country, and so many services, that it’d be really fucking hard not to find something to suck your dick in exchange for some Canadian cuckbucks. Also if you are really fucking lonely, you can become a member and make some friends at the Lounge, or get into some really gay political debates in their Political Discussion forum which is bizarrely active.

On the other hand, when you really think about it the site is just an ad depository with a medium sized community. 80% of the forum is just paid advertisements, and you need to do some digging to find some legitimate reviews or discussion on the hundreds of services offered. Also if you’re a man lover, I’m afraid this site won’t help you much at all. For the rest of you straight guys, this is the internet headquarters for some Canadian action. Frankly, if for some godforsaken reason ThePornDude finds himself in cuck country, he may need to hit this site up to keep his dick warm in a professional and dependable way.