I swear to god, the site names are getting more original by the day. Take a look at this bad boy called Jizzy.app. Jizzy… say that slowly, sensually… Jizzy… rolls right off the tongue, right? Well, believe it or not, these wankers have gone all out on the Jizzy branding and even introduced their own website currency, which is simply called… drumroll, please! Jizz. Yep. You can purchase Jizz now. And what does this jizz do? Phew… I thought you’d never ask! It allows you to generate AI images and videos while chatting, and also engage with the AI characters Jizzy has in store for you. Yeah… It’s another one of those AI sites. I’ve grown tired of them. You’ve grown tired of them. Pretty much everyone has grown tired of them. I digress. Let’s see how I can jizz this shit up, huh?
I have thought about donating my jizz to a sperm bank. Yeah… I kinda sprung that out of nowhere. Well, I have thought about it MULTIPLE times, actually. Never really settled on doing it… But there’s hope for me. I have pictured it more than I should admit. My mind imagining the waiting room, the awkward nurse, the private booth that smells like bleach and other men’s failures. They slide me a cup, and I sit there with my cock in my hand, same as tonight, except this time the nut has a destination that is not my stomach and a sock. I stroke it, thinking about some woman I will never meet, some couple who needs what I am about to dump in plastic… and the little ginger dude that will come out. I never settled on doing it because the whole scene is funny and humiliating at the same time. I would have to get tested. I would have to answer questions. I would have to admit, on paper, that all I have done with my life is watch porn, bang chicks, and write about it, and now I want to franchise the leftovers.
The Good And The Uncanny
Enough about my jizz, let’s talk about Jizzy! You land on the home page, and now you have to scroll. What do you see? A bunch of AI girls/companions, or whatever you want to call them. Could call them AI cum dumpsters for all I care. Some are based on that familiar Anime style. Others have a cartoon vibe going on. Most of them are realistic-looking. The variety is definitely there. Some are goth chicks with the color black sensually wrapped around their soul. Then there are the anime gyaru streamers you can fuck on the bed. And of course, the random influencer babes. I did notice a little creepy detail, though. You see, all the realistic AI chicks, when you hover over them, they have this little animation going on… but their animation is so fucking creepy! They lean toward the camera, and they look so fucking uncanny doing it… Like Zuckerberg’s reptilian cousin trying to adjust to his new human skin type creepy. It’s so off-putting that I don’t even want to chat or engage with them at all.
And man… this creepy shit awakened a repressed trauma within me. I’m talking about the way I used to get scared shitless by Jeff the Killer creepypasta. Some of you are too young to even understand what that is. Well, back in the glory days of 4chan, you did not get a neat little horror app and a skip button. You got a blue board, a 3 a.m. thread, a JPEG of a pale bastard with a carved smile and black holes for eyes, and a story about a kid who went nuts, sliced his face into a grin, and whispered Go to sleep. I am supposed to be grown now. I am supposed to be the guy who watches AI thots take it on a bus and writes about busting nuts on a coffee buzz. Instead, I hover over a realistic Jizzy goth, and she does that same wrong lean, that same too-wide almost-smile, and I am alone again, on /x/, heart punching my ribs, except this time I also have a half-chub because the site is literally named after cum.
Jizzing On My Soul
Okay, that sent shivers down my spine. Let’s drown the pain in the Create section of Jizzy.app, huh? Basically, this section allows you to create your own AI girlfriend. It has the same basic process as any other site out there. You select whether the character is realistic or anime-based. Then the ethnicity, body type, breast size, butt size, and all those quirky little details, all the way to her personality. Once you’re done, Jizzy spits out the results. It takes less than a minute, and the results are fairly decent. Bringing her to life costs 100 Jizz, and then she’s all yours to chat with. Speaking of the chatting, it’s, uh… decent? Mediocre? It’s not purely roleplay-based as you’d expect from AI sites nowadays. If you’re a Janitor AI refugee, then you might notice how short the responses are and the double replies.
It feels more like talking to an LLM rather than roleplaying with it. It has its charm, definitely. Plus, it doesn’t consume any Jizz, so you are fine with it. The cool thing is, you can request photos and videos. The photos are 10 Jizz a pop. Videos are 25 per piece. The images sent are decent, but the videos? Not so much… my character grew a third fucking arm that was pointing at my soul, while the other two took off her top and she had no fucking nipples! Genuinely terrifying shit.
On top of all of that, Jizzy has this voice call feature, which, uh… let’s just say the voice of the character sounds robotic as hell. There’s also a feature to transcribe the message into sound, the sound of your AI babe, and it still sounds robotic as hell. Well, technically, I am chatting with a robot, so… I guess they nailed that part down. In all honesty, after chatting for a while and engaging with different AI characters, I can’t say I prefer this way of chatting. It’s not bad per se, but it’s missing that standard OOMPH factor that other AI sites provide when it comes to roleplaying. That’s just my opinion on it, though. For all I know, you might prefer this way of interaction, so give it a shot and see if you like it. In all honesty, I can roleplay with Grok and a few simple prompts better, so… take that as you will.
Could’ve Been A Real Woman
And to end this on a bang, let’s discuss how much Jizz you can purchase. For $10, you’re looking at 150 Jizz, which is enough for 15 photos or 6 videos while chatting. Or, creating one character and a few images/videos. If you want to step up your game, you can pay $25 for 400 Jizz. And the highest purchasable tier is $50 for 850 Jizz. I started off with 200 Jizz, and managed to test out the features with it and have barely any left. So if you’re serious about this, then you should invest in the higher-tier options.
Every time I fuck around with an AI companion, I think about how I could have spent that time flirting with a real woman. Yes… A real fucking woman! In a bar, on a sidewalk, in a thread that actually leads to a body. The thrill… The humanity in it… That is the part no 850-Jizz tier can sell me, and I still sit here spending it anyway! The only downside is that a real woman can ignore you. She can literally look at your opener, snort, and leave you on read, and when she does not, when she answers, and the chat gets sharp, and she starts teasing you back like she has blood in her… it hits different than any Jizz ever could. I could have been in a bar tonight. I could have bought a drink, talked shit, watched a real girl decide in real time if she wanted my hands on her. Instead, I am here, buying digital cum so a companion can spread on command and never once make me work for it… what a wonderful time to be alive.
