Sweet, sweet pussy. There is nothing quite like it. No matter how much porn you watch, how many asses you fuck, how many times you get blown, nothing will ever compare. I don’t need to tell you this, though, you filthy porn addict. I’m sure you are well aware of this fact, seeing as the last time you got laid was the summer of ‘92. Well, my friend, you are in luck. You may just be able to end your dry spell once and for all. If you can afford it, that is.
We live in a golden age of information, where not only can we access any kind of porn we want in excess at any time of day without even leaving our beds but ordering a sex worker has also never been easier. Before the internet blew up and became what it is today, the primary way people spend their time, it was hard work to find a lady of the night. If you didn’t know a guy who had a connect, you used to have to go out, usually to dangerous neighborhoods, and solicit scantily clad girls on street corners from your car.
Not only was this a safety risk (girls had hardened, unreasonable pimps that you might have to contend with, you could so easily get robbed or scammed, etc.), but it was equally a legal risk. Prostitution stings were huge back in the day, where cops would hire a girl to go out and do her thing and then arrest any johns who might try and exchange money for sex. Thanks to the internet, though, things are much, much easier. Not perfect, mind you. but better.
You do still have to beware of scammers, catfish, and cops posing as escorts online, though. So, don’t just go crazy and meet up with any random girl whose number you found in an online ad. You still have to be careful. The best way to do this is to use a reliable site. But even the best escort indexes still have some fakes and law enforcement officers lurking on them, so you need to know what to look for. And, most importantly, just don’t be fucking stupid because you’re horny. Use your common sense.
Literally Everything You Could Ever Want is on Leo List
One popular site for escort postings (in Toronto) is Leo List, or as I like to call it, Canadian Craigslist. You have probably heard of Leo List before. Maybe you’ve ever used it to look for a job, to buy a car, to find an apartment, or to adopt a pet. But did you know that you can also use Leo List to find an escort as well? Obviously, it isn’t something that they just promote on the main page of the site, so you’ll have to do a little bit of digging to find it. Not too much, mind you, but a bit. So, let me guide you to the right spot, so you can see how much fun Leo List can actually be.
Once you navigate your browser to leolist.cc, you’ll find that familiar, clean, minimalist home page, the list of icons (always refreshing, seeing as most classifieds sites are a fucking mess). Simply click on Personals (not Services, ironically, but I guess this probably helps Leo List from a legal standpoint), and a window will pop up allowing you to choose what kind of escort will satisfy your tastes. Choose between female escorts, male escorts, transsexual escorts, female massage, dom & fetish, or gigs & jobs.
I’m not judging where you click on from here, but I’m going to head right on over to female escorts. And, from there, I have page after page of professional women at my disposal. The default setting of the site is for search results to appear in a list, with a headline and a sample line of the post’s text underneath. If there is a photo, that will also appear to the left. You can also switch the search results, though, so that they appear as a grid, giving you just the thumbnail and the post title if you hover your mouse over it.
One Fatal Flaw…
This might not be very useful on Leo List anyway; at least not in the female escorts section. Why, you ask? Because there are no fucking pictures! Tell me, how the fuck am I supposed to discern whether or not an escort is worth contacting if I can’t even see what the fuck she looks like? Okay, let me calm down. This might not be Leo List’s fault directly. This site might just, for whatever reason, attract escorts who don’t want to or feel the need to post pictures of themselves. Anonymity is important in this trade, after all. Either way, no matter who’s fault it is, I don’t find it particularly useful.
It’s a shame too because there are so many posts that Leo List could have easily become my go-to escort index for when I am in Canada. But if I can’t see photos of the girls, why am I even going to bother? I’m not going to waste my time contacting the girl, asking her to send me a photo, and just hoping that she’s hot or my type. That could take hours! In my opinion, Leo List should just make it required to include at least a body pic when submitting an escort posting. There, problem solved. But without photos, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with these posts.
One plus side, though, is that you can directly message the girls from Leo List. So, I suppose you could just as easily ask her for a photo from there. This is something that I think Leo List definitely has over every other classified site I’ve been on. It’s so annoying to have to go and log into my email, copy and paste the provided address, and compose an entire message from there. I love that Leo List lets you message directly through the site; that definitely makes things a little easier. But do you know what would make things 100% easier? If I didn’t have to fucking email her asking for pictures in the first place!
The most confusing part of all of this is that certain users are considered by Leo List to be verified due to, get this, a certain number of submitted photos. What in the actual fuck is going on here? How can an escort be verified by photos if none of these escorts have any photos to begin with? Am I losing my mind?
I continued browsing posts and it looks like some girls at least provide links to social media to prove that they are real and provide images. I would really rather not have to go to Twitter or whatever to do the work to see if you are real or not, though, I just want to be able to get an idea of that right on your fucking escort post, you know? So annoying.
Time to Take a Chill Pill…
Okay, I need to chill out. I think that it is time to focus on something I do like about Leo List: the search filter options. Leo List makes it super easy to narrow down your search by age range, hourly rate, who’s online now, who’s verified, ethnicity, city, incall/outcall, and region. Plus, if you swing both ways, you can quickly toggle to male or tranny escorts with a convenient dropdown menu above the search filters.
This site is really easy to use and user-friendly. Again, very refreshing compared to other similar sites I’ve seen. Even some sites that are specifically escort directories don’t have this level of control in terms of customized searches or filters. So, kudos to you on that, Leo. I still want you to do something about the lack of photos, though.
I really want Leo List to make photos a requirement. Or do something to ensure escorts post photos more. This site is so close to being awesome; it’s easy to use, it’s well-organized, it’s got great design, there are plenty of posts and girls, and you can find just about anything you want on it. So, it’s really a bummer that I can’t see what any of the girls look like. Food for thought, Leo, food for thought.
Well, people, be careful out there if you’re thinking of ordering some pussy in tonight. Like I said before, even though it’s nowhere near as sketchy as trying to solicit prostitution in 1991, it can be dangerous. Make sure you ask your girl for photos, try to speak with her on the phone if possible. Another quick tip: ask her if she’s independent or if she works for a company. If she’s independent, you’ll have less people to deal with, so that’s always a good thing. But, on the other hand, if she works for a company, you can research the company a little bit and that can help build security in reputation. Whatever you do, just don’t be a retard and have fun.