A threesome under a palm tree. That’s how I picture the goddamn paradise! Until I croak and float off to heaven, which I will, of course, I’m stuck jerking off to alohatube.com/top/threesome. The motherfucker rocks this palm tree logo, very Vice City like, and the videos seem to be filthy as fuck. If I remember correctly, alohatube.com is one of the biggest motherfuckers on the block, but let's get into details. Read on.
Alohatube is a relentless beast
Let me tell you something. I can't ignore the obvious. The stats say 23,407,355 videos, 61,936 added last week, 7,928 added today. That's Aloha Tube motherfuckers!
It's a goddam beast that never sleeps. It's a fucking dragon of a porn site, so packed with porn that you could live three times, reincarnate every single time as a porn addict, die one more time, reincarnate for a whole century, and still have more videos to wank off to. It's an endless pile of porn no living human needs, because we don't live that long. Insane and hard to put into words.
Today, I'll focus on the threesomes. The only proper way to tame this beast is to tame it section by section. Still, the alohatube.com/top/threesome aisle holds 1,591,779 videos alone. That shit is insane! Maybe I should have reviewed it video by video. Whatever path I choose, this review is only gonna scratch the surface, so I might as well finally start streaming. Let the party begin!
A fat threesome is where it begins
I focus on the FFM threesome. It's the latest upload, although, by the time I actually start streaming this motherfucker, it’s probably gonna be ancient news. Whatever. It's a fat threesome. The hoes have rolls on their stomachs, the tits jiggle in all ways, and the asses are thick. Compared to the hoes, the dick looks tiny, but that's what happens when you decide to shoot porn with chicks who eat too many burgers. In any case, I click on the flick.
The site takes me straight to the player. No goddamn ads. I do have to wait for 5 seconds before the video finally starts streaming and that one ad gets the fuck out of my face, but it's such a minor problem that I don't even want to mention. The video is HD and it goes on for 7 minutes. It starts with the fat tits already out, and the hoes on the bed. It's not like I wanted the dialogues. All good.
Both sluts get fucked raw, while they play with each other's tits and clits. It's an overall good porno, all free, decent length, HD, so there are no complaints. Truth be told, the shit around the player is sparse. Where the fuck are the tags and all that junk, but honestly, who gives a damn. I might bitch about it later if I need some inspiration to keep writing, but not right now. So far, so goddamn good.
I want it kinky
I spot two grannies playing truth or date with a grandpa, and I want to stream it, but then I change my mind. Goes on for only 10 minutes. I want something longer. When it comes to the length of the videos, alohatube.com/top/threesome is a mixed bag. It's always like that with free sites. You never know what you're gonna get.
Then I find this grandpa with a huge belly fucking two hoes. Looks amateur as shit, it's another fat motherfucker, but at least it goes on for two hours. Yup, that's gonna be my next stream. I want to see the ugliest that the alohatube.com/top/threesome has to offer. Yeah, I’m hunting for flaws. Every review hits that point sooner or later. Call me a prick if you want. I don’t give a single fuck.
This one ad keeps chilling in the bottom right corner. Whenever I try to close it, I get redirected. I focus and the video starts. Looks like a webcam show, but not really. I can see the hoes strapped a camera to the dude, but not a single fucking angle shows what he’s filming. He just lies there on that goddamn bed like a limp sack of shit, while the blondes take turns sucking and riding his dick. It's so goddamn raw that it's good. Not HD, not this time, but it's filthy to the core, and that's always a good thing.
It's a game of his or miss
As you know, alohatube.com/top/threesome is almost the size of my dick. It's a monster of a site, and it comes with very thin filters. It means the picky fuckers are screwed.
This is not where you'll find the tags, additional filters, or any sort of info that will help you choose what to stream before it actually happens. You have to be into porn in general to really enjoy alohatube.com/top/threesome. If you have a special kink, you are better off on a smaller but more precise site. That's what it is.
You can choose between the latest and the top rated movies. That's all. Those are your only options. I have been eyeing the top rated section this whole time and here's what I saw. I spotted two fat MILFs, that guy with a fat belly, a guy fucking two MILFs, Violet Myers and Kayley Gunner sharing a ride, a granny fucking two cocks in a library, an interracial FFM threesome where a fake couple fucks a sitter or something, and so on. It's a huge selection of videos. You have to get used to it.
It keeps uploading more
I switch to the latest section. Right now, the newest addition features Jessie Rogers and Riley Reign. At least the site tries to mention the pornstars’ names in each title. The video goes on for 25 minutes, and it was uploaded to alohatube.com/top/threesome 45 minutes ago. It's always like that here. Every fifteen minutes or so, aloha uploads something new and that's the best thing about this site.
You'll never jack off to the same video twice, unless you really want to. Whenever you load alohatube.com/top/threesome, you'll have a new threesome to stream, and that means a steady influx of fresh pussy. We all want that. Sure, you're gonna have a hard time here if you are picky, but if you want free porn in huge numbers, always fresh out of the box, alohatube.com/top/threesome is where you need to be. Not that hard to understand.
Before I move on to the conclusion, I want to stream the DP video. All this time here and this is the first MMF threesome I find! This time, I get redirected to the site that actually hosts the motherfucker. Weird as shit. Looks like alohatube.com/top/threesome sometimes just plays aggregator. Not necessarily bad, though. Means the stash keeps growing, but it also makes the whole shitshow even more unpredictable. Hmmm, let me sum all of this shit up before I lose my mind.
It's easy to like alohatube.com
Alohatube.com/top/threesome is not a site for delicate little flowers. If you need a goddamn instruction manual to find your dick, get the fuck out of here. The filters are thin as hell, the info around the player is often barebones, and sometimes you get redirected. Free porn roulette isn’t for everyone.
Ads mostly behave, but when one sticks, it sticks like gum. You might end up on a totally different site too, and that unpredictability is not for everyone. From time to time, the site acts like an aggregator. That’s what makes it this huge. Sure, not perfect, but it's far from bad.
Alohatube.com/top/threesome is huge, and that's a serious understatement. You refresh, there’s new shit. You blink, more shit. Every fifteen minutes, you'll find a new threesome here. Nothing beats that. You’ll get bored of your own balls before this site runs dry.
It's completely free. You're not marrying the site, but just fuck around. You fucking drown in variety while doing so. The steady flow of new content is the real magic trick here on alohatube.com/top/threesome. That's the selling point.
So yeah, the selection is wild. It's a mix of pro and amateur stuff, but it's all threesomes in all their shapes and forms. The site just dumps them and somehow, it works. It does its job, and yours is to dig through the pile. That's why I say that picky fetishists don't belong here.
If you want precision and order, go somewhere smaller and tighter. If you want volume, nothing beats alohatube.com/top/threesome. It's inconsistent but huge, and that’s exactly why it slaps. It's just a big, dumb, glorious pile of porn doing what it does best. Enjoy.
