Sohimi

The motto beneath the Sohimi logo on their website encourages visitors to choose love and choose fun, both of which echo the kind of sentiments I like to offer here at ThePornDude. Their whole shop is stuffed full of gizmos and gadgets designed with both love and fun in mind, and they work just as well with a partner as they do in your intimate alone time. Whether you like to go at it solo or in groups, to dirty movies or your own mental fantasies, you’ll find plenty to stimulate those sensitive parts of yours.

Sohimi.com sells adult toys for men, women and horny couples. The brand’s been around since 2006, though their e-commerce business didn’t kick off until a few years later. The website has since grown into an internationally respected toy store, with hundreds of thousands of customers and window shoppers stopping by every month. I feel like I’m something of a maestro when it comes to pleasuring myself manually, but I still love a nice, modern synthetic fuck hole with all the bells and whistles. Let’s take a closer look at the Sohimi catalog and see what they’re hawking.

High-End Sex Toys with Low-Ass Prices

Poking around the Sohimi, it was difficult to figure out where the company originally started. They’ve currently got offices in New York, Tokyo, Berlin and Hong Kong, and ship from warehouses in the US, Germany and Japan. That’s good news when it comes to shipping times, though I still can’t tell you where they originated. It doesn’t matter much, but the text on the website doesn’t read like native English writing, so I was curious.

It looks like the American warehouse is well stocked, because most of the products I clicked on could be delivered to me in just 3-5 days. In any case, shipping is free on orders over $99. The catch is that free shipping only applies to German and American orders, so you might be on the hook for a few bucks elsewhere. They do promise quick shipping around the world, though overseas delivery could take up to 20 days.

With a lot of internet sex toy shops, you can tell from the front page whether their clientele consists mainly of men or women. Most shops sell products for everyone, but the front-page spread of dildos or strokers tells you who’s buying. Sohimi is popular with both dudes and dudettes, as evidenced by the rows of top products this week. The current lineup includes automated dick massagers, dildos with licking lips, app-controlled sucking mouths and a thrusting vibrator with a beautifully engineered, multi-hinged suction-cup base.

That last item I mentioned seems to occupy a rare middle ground between regular-ass vibes and expensive robotic fuck machines. It’s an impressive gadget, and it’s on sale for just $65.99. Surprisingly affordable prices were a common theme, especially on the electronics.

That app-controlled mouth I mentioned is only $26, the dildo with the lips is under $40, and the battery-powered strokers on the front page start at just over $60. Electronic adult toys have come down considerably in recent years, and that’s certainly a factor here. Those who shop around, however, will immediately see the kind of value on offer.

Let’s Look at Those Dick Strokers

Speaking as a dude, I was most interested in the various automatic masturbators, pocket pussies and other male-oriented toys, so those are the sections of Sohimi.com I perused first. Oh, and I know my readers; you guys love sticking your dicks in tight holes just as much as I do!

Their shelf of Pocket Pussies was a lot smaller than I’d expected, though all the products look beautifully fuckable. They’ve focused on realistic simulations here, with models as low as $13. Sohimi doesn’t carry the biggest, most recognizable brands like Fleshlight or Tenga, which I think might actually work out for the consumer here. Instead of choosing between overpriced brand names and a thousand variations of basically the same thing, you’ve got a handful of realistic handheld vaginas, almost all of them running under $25.

I was more impressed by their catalog of Male Masturbators. There’s only one item among the current lineup that costs more than a hundo, but almost everything is electronic, with features like thrusting, spinning, sucking, vibrating, and more. It wasn’t long ago that every male masturbation toy with a battery would run you a couple Benjamins.

Sohimi’s even got their own branded luxury automatic masturbator, available for a penny under a hundred bucks. “This fully automatic airplane cup imitates the real deep-throat spiral gulp, with three layers of thickened design inside, make your penis never fall off,” reads the production description, putting to rest any fears your grandma may have put in your head about masturbation. It’s got multiple thrusting and rotating modes and “one-click erupt,” which sounds like it might be worth the entry fee.

For those in the market, I typically recommend one of the Sex Doll Shops off my big list here at ThePornDude versus buying from a big adult toy superstore. Sohimi.com might be an exception to this rule, at least if you’re looking for a partial lady. They’ve got a solid selection of sex doll torsos and synthetic asses. It’s not quite the spread you get from a specialist like Tantaly, but it's a lot more than the meager sex doll selection available from your average shop.

A Pair of Handcuffs and Fake Dicks Galore

I checked out Sohimi’s BDSM section next and was a little bit underwhelmed. The slim selection of pocket pussies wasn’t a big deal, because how many varieties of fake vajayjay do you really need? Bondage is a much wider and arguably wilder interest, and while you can do a lot with a strap-on, handcuff collar and chastity cage, enthusiasts may not find all their needs met by the selection here.

If you’ve got more general female interests, though, wait till you get to the Vibrators aisle. It’s an even better selection than the automated dick machines, with buzzing stimulators in damn near every size, shape, and color imaginable. Again, the prices are considerably lower than I expect for anything that you can control with an app and get yourself off with. If you’ve been curious about those rose vibrators that have grown popular in recent years, now’s your chance to score one for less than you paid for lunch today.

I feel like Sohimi.com’s selection of dildos strikes a nice balance: there’s a great selection, but they don’t overwhelm customers with too many variations of basically the same thing. They’ve got realistic peckers, vibrating obelisks, and even some fantasy dongs for the kinkier folks out there. Have you ever seen a ghost pop out of the wall and say, “Fuck, there’s a horse cock in my room or a donkey dick”? Well, now you can finally give those little fuckers a reason.

I clicked through for a closer look at the Sohimi ALPHA Sucking and Thrusting G-Spot Vibrator Dildo Plug. It’s only $32.99, down from almost $80, and has no fewer than 450 combinations of vibrations. Customers can leave reviews on the website, which is how I know this one’s a big hit. I love that users can even leave pics, because I’ve found these kinds of reviews to be more reliably real than your average faceless internet writeup.

You know what’s really weird, though? I couldn’t find a lube aisle anywhere on the Sohimi website. As much natural lubricant as some of you folks are whipping up with your bodies alone, most of the products on the menu could use a little extra sauce to get them all slopped up. I figured I’d find the fluids in the Accessories section, but nah, I just found masturbation sleeves, lacy pajamas and USB cables. You’re going to have to buy your barrels of water-based synthetic precum and pussy juice somewhere else.

Sohimi.com might not have had every product I was looking for, but they’ve got a killer selection of masturbatory implements for everyone, at some of the best prices I’ve ever seen. Instead of stocking the major brands with the kind of high price tags you’d expect, they’ve focused on building a catalog of toys that are both high quality and affordable. They’re running an end-of-the-year sale as I type this up, but even if you miss it, I’m sure there are more deals coming.