When I first saw the link, aznude.com, I thought it might have been an all Asian porn site. It didn’t take me long to figure out, however, that I was way off. It’s not AZN nudes, but, instead, AZ nudes, as in nudes from A-Z. Hey, I would have been happy either way.
Dressed to Impress
When I landed on aznude.com’s home page, I was immediately impressed with the way the site was designed. There is a large banner on the top that swipes through numerous promotions of new content that the site has and thinks I should know about. “The Queen is Back,” reads one, advertising Lisa Ann’s triumphant return to porn via Brazzers. The next informs me about Summer Collins’ “hottest scene from Doomsday County,” a horror film that the actress appeared in. For this, the site more closely resembles Netflix than it does Porntube.
Scroll below the newsfeed banner and you will find a greeting from the site: “Find huge and comprehensive collection of nude celebrity images and videos FOR FREE. Newest videos will be found in the playlist below. Just click play and enjoy.” Okay, so now the site makes a little more sense to me. Not only is Az Nude an A-Z database of nude images and videos, AZ Nude is an A-Z database of nude celebrity images and videos. Ah, now I get it.
Who Doesn’t Love Naked Celebrities?
For what it is, I think it’s fair to say Aznude is excelling. I do enjoy the occasional nude celeb. I mean, it’s not usually the kind of thing that I’ll spend a lot of time on or sit down and wholeheartedly fap to, but I like to appreciate the female form. Especially when it is the female form of celebrities, which has always felt a little taboo for some reason. In a good way.
Aznude.com is a hell of a lot more organized and easier to navigate compared to other nude celebrity sites I’ve seen. On the top of the page, you have your A-Z search bar—just click on “S,” for example, and be taken to a list of celebrities whose names start with “S.” To be more specific, you’ll be taken to a list of celebrities whose first names start with “S.” Warning: there are 120 pages of them, so if you’re looking for Sandra Bullock, you’re probably better off just searching her name.
Each femme fatale featured on the site has her own profile and user rating. Her profile will have all the content Aznude has on her. Feel free to rate your favorite (or least favorite) celebs too. Katie Perry, for some reason, had a rating of 4 stars, which I felt to be way too high for her, so I made sure to vote her 1 star to try and bring her rating back down to reality a little bit.
In addition to browsing the site by celebrity name, you can also search by movie title. This is actually very convenient. How many times have you been watching a movie, seen a hot little thing in some hot and steamy scene, and not known who she was, or how to find more of her? Well, worry not, on Az Nude, just search the movie and find images and videos of all the nude and sex scenes that are in it. Problem solved.
Porn Stars are Celebrities Too…
I think that if Aznude kept it strictly to singers, actresses, and famous socialites, I would have grown bored with it pretty quickly. However, they seem to consider porn stars celebrities too, and include them in the ranks. Here’s a tip for you: to quickly transition from sexy movie scenes with Mila Kunis, or nip slips of Paris Hilton, click the “real sex” button in the navigation menu to be brought directly to the actual porn.
As far as their real porn goes, don’t expect to find the latest premium scenes in-full, but I was impressed by how up to date they were with their content, even if all they offer are clips. A portion of Rebecca Volpetti’s, “The Farmer’s Daughter,” for example, is on there, and Brazzers just released that like last week. Aznude even keeps up with celebrity Instagram and Snapchat stories. They are so current, it’s amazing. They are kind of like Huffpost, but for perverts.
No Fakes, No Tributes, No Porn Music Videos
Another refreshing aspect of Aznude is that they do not host faked images. At all. Nothing even close. It is all legit—if there isn’t a verifiable nude or suggestive photo or video of a celebrity, they don’t put it up. This is refreshing for two reasons: 1.) I don’t have to spend any time or effort trying to figure out whether or not something is real or fake; and 2.) I don’t have to sift through hundreds of bullshit Photoshopped images or “tribute” videos of dudes cumming on pictures of their favorite celebrities (I really do not get the appeal of that—can somebody explain it to me? Actually, you know what, never mind, I do not even fucking care in the slightest).
On Aznude, you also don’t have to worry about being duped by lookalike videos or Porn Music Videos (you know, those videos people make where they cut back and forth between hardcore porn scenes and, say, an Ariana Grande music video…okay, now that I’m typing it out, maybe those aren’t so bad…). You can sit back and fap away knowing that you are, without a doubt, fapping to the real Miley Cyrus and not to the off-brand Miley May (who, for you Miley Cyrus fans out there, is actually pretty hot and looks quite a bit like her).
Does Aznude Have All Known Celebrity Nudes? Not Quite…
Speaking of legit, verifiable nudes of celebrities, I was a little surprised to not be able to find any of the leaked content from The Fappening on Aznude. I don’t know if this is because The Fappening now has its own site and maybe there is some sort of copyright block, or if maybe Aznude has taken some sort of moral stance on the issue of the massive iCloud leaks. Either way, it is glaring for a site that specializes in celebrity nudes to be missing the largest collection of celebrity nude leaks in history.
The Invasion of the Ads!
Well, since we are on the topic of criticism: holy fucking ads all over the place. I have been to hundreds of porn sites. Many of them have had a shitton of ads. Never in my entire life of watching porn on the internet, though, have I been to a site that is this bad about ads. They are fucking everywhere! To the sides of every page, at the bottom, at the top of the homepage, before a video plays, when you pause a video.
The most fucking annoying part about the website, though, are the goddamned pop-up ads that create a new tab every fucking time you click on something. Aznude doesn’t even load what you clicked on when these ads pop up, which is the absolute least they could do!
Nope, instead, they make you go and manually exit out of the new tab they created for you and come back to their page and click the link again. You literally have to click on everything on the website twice before you can access it. What kind of donkey dick horseshit is that? Fuck those ads, for real. My computer probably fucking has digital herpes now. Great.
Cheers and Jeers
At the end of the day, Aznude is probably the only really organized, well-designed database of legit celebrity nudes (and near-nudes) I’ve ever seen. They are blurring the lines between porn and entertainment news, and, for that reason, I applaud them for their innovation and their dedication to bringing the world the most up-to-date and comprehensive archive sexy celebrity photos and videos.
But they really need to step their game up and chill the fuck out with the ads. I also think that if they are going to blatantly ignore all of the leaked content to come out of The Fappening, then they should probably acknowledge this, and give a reason why somewhere on the site. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little bio for the celebrities on their pages either—nothing too elaborate or anything, just a little something indicating what films they’ve been in, or how you might know of them.