Uncover Creations

You might want to keep the toys made by Uncover Creations covered up when family comes to visit, but aside from that, I think they look pretty cool up on the shelf. Sure, it’s a real aesthetic choice to keep a dragon dildo or a werewolf dick out where everybody can see it, but it adds a personal touch you’re just not going to get with a “Live, Laugh, Love” sign framed above the fireplace. Anyway, I think a lot of you would live, laugh and love even better with a lifelike alien ovipositor in your life. Now, who’s game for a gelatin egg up the butthole?

In case you haven’t connected the dots from my little intro, UncoverCreations.com is a maker of high-quality, custom fantasy sex toys. They’re one of just a few such manufacturers, making the kinds of freaky fake dongs and fuckable tentacles that you don’t find at the local sex shop just off the highway. These are some deep-niche products, but based on the website’s hundreds of thousands of monthly visitors, it looks like their demographic is having a blast. They were kind enough to hook your old pal ThePornDude up with a custom sci-fi dick-stroker, but you don’t have to be a world-renown masturbator to score a freebie. Read on and I’ll tell you all about it.

For Fans of Horse Cock, By Fans of Horse Cock

I don’t always cover the stuff websites put on their About page, for a couple reasons. It usually doesn’t matter much, and honestly? Most companies have a boring backstory by the numbers, basically an overhyped version of “We wanted to make some money and saw an opportunity.” UncoverCreations is different, though, because the company was started by a couple friends who wanted to make custom, deeply personal sex toys.

Speaking as a dude who spends his days surfing one-handed through the web’s best adult websites, I’ve found that you consistently get a better experience from any site that’s a labor of love. This is especially true in the deeper, kinkier niches, whether we’re talking about free fetish tubes or fantasy sex toys. Right from jump, Uncover Creations feels like it was made by real fans of these otherworldly doodads.

You’ll find that love reflected in not just the product designs, which they say typically start as some scribbles on their phones. They’re also making every custom sex toy to order. Every item in the catalog comes in a range of colors, firmness levels, and even sizes, and they hand-pour your request as soon as you order. The little card that came with mine said it was made by Matt, and they included a buy one, get one code on the back.

If you’ve ever been on an adult haunted house tour, you may have heard the phrase, “Fuck, there’s a horse cock in my room or a donkey dick!” I mention this because UncoverCreations included a free equine dildo called The Equiknot with my order. They’re not currently offering the same exact promo, but they are throwing in a free g-spot dildo with orders over $30. Thirty bones is what you might pay for a decent fake hog anyway, which helps put this killer deal into perspective.

What’s more, you get free economy shipping with orders over $80. I might be inclined to pay a few bucks for faster delivery speed, personally. Between the time it took for them to make my new custom toy and shipping from the UK, it took a couple weeks for my order to reach me. They say good things come to those who wait, an old adage which holds true here. The goods were so lovingly packed that I felt like I was opening something I ordered from Etsy versus some faceless corporation.

Perusing the Dildos at Uncover Creations

I know most of my readers here at ThePornDude are straight dudes who like to put their dicks in things, but most of the UncoverCreations.com catalog is aimed at folks who like being penetrated. To that end, they’ve got an incredible range of exotic fake dicks for the discerning furry, scaley, or general deviate in your life.

Even without accounting for the insane customizations available, there are dozens of products on their Dildo page. That includes the knotted dongs of dragons and werewolves, tentacles in various shapes and sizes, alien butt plugs and a freaky swamp thing called The Geeyem. Add a suction cup for a few bucks and stick one of those bad boys on your headboard or shower wall.

I’m fascinated by the ovipositors and hope to get the opportunity to use one at some point. It might take some convincing with the girls of PornDudeCasting, but I’d be able to live out some of my weirdest hentai fantasies. The silicone eggs they sell ain’t recommend for rectal use, but you can make them out of Jell-O for a treat even Bill Cosby would be thrilled with.

The elaborate grinders and cock rings at Uncover Creations look like Lovecraftian horrors favored by beloved whores. I’m talking masses of tentacles, imposing spikes, devil faces and eldritch abominations no man has so much as dreamed off--but they’ll get you off hard. Get a load of their “flower-inspired” Synstyl Grinder. To my eyes, it sure looks like a vagina, but one that would eat you back.

But What Have They Got for the Straight Dudes?

Some of the dudes in the audience might be thinking, “Wow, that all sounds really fucking cool, but what do they have for a pervert like me?” I’m glad you asked this theoretical question in my head, because UncoverCreations.com has some great products for men. For example, the Grinder page has a handful of elaborate fantasy cock rings, and they’re currently running a three-for-two promo on those suckers. You can bang your old lady while a tentacle strokes her clit.

A lot of Uncover Creations’ toys are aimed squarely at couples, especially their range of made to measure penis extenders. Some of them are just normal-looking dicks that’ll give you the length you want, but they’ve also got alien penis sheaths, tentacle dick extenders, and ones with knots to explore your canine fantasies. You can hump your wife’s leg with it before doing it humanstyle.

And then there’s the toy that I ordered for myself. There’s currently only one male stroker available at UncoverCreations, but I’m hoping to see the selection expand. The Tentacle Masturbator has a base price of $55, though I did request some premium add-ons like a marbled two-tone glow-in-the-dark color and squishy-soft silicone firmness. The material is firmer than some of the sex toys I own from other manufacturers, but it is soft enough to turn the whole thing inside out for some new sensations.

It ain’t a complicated gadget, but man, it sure feels good. There’s some light texturing on the inside to help keep things interesting, and I felt like there was the perfect amount of give for finding your ideal intensity. Just slip it over your cock and give it a squeeze while you stroke. Since the top end is open, you can just throw a sock over it when you’re ready to make your deposit. Cleanup is much easier than trying to flush the cum out of a Fleshlight. Weirdly, it might even be a little more a little more inconspicuous, because everyone already knows a flashlight with a lid on it is getting fucked.

I really like UncoverCreations.com. I like their range of sexy, weird, highly customizable products; I like their polished website and their reasonable prices; and frankly, I just really like the company itself. You can tell these two friends got into the business of selling something they really love, and that means you’re probably going to love their toys, too. They’ve got a hell of a collection, and it seems like there’s new stuff available every time I check. If you’re in the market for a fake owlbear penis or something that can lay an egg in your cooter, you’d be a damn fool not to include this shop on your shortlist. These guys are awesome.