SVL Toys

Have you ever watched the Naked Gun series? If not, then I implore you to do whatever it takes to sit through them all (after you’ve finished reading this latest wild review). You see, there’s a scene in The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear that sees the movie’s main character, Frank Drebin, raid a seedy sex shop on the wrong side of town, and it’s one of my all-time favorites.

‘’Oh, hey, Frank! We finally got that Model D83 Swedish sure-grip suck machine that you ordered!’’ says the naive sales assistant appearing from the sex shop’s backroom, shattering Frank’s noble crime fighter aesthetic. What’s even funnier, though, is how a toy like that sounded out of this world back in the 1990s. Nowadays? It sounds like something for sex toy newbies!

I honestly don’t understand why anybody would watch porn armed with nothing but their hand these days. I understand people like to keep it old school, but come on! Are you really gonna sit there and try telling me that ‘’Madame Palm and her five sisters’’ can compete with the lifelike cunt of a pornstar replicated into a high-tech Fleshlight? Hell no!

Hell, these days, you don’t even have to face the awkwardness of walking into your local sex shop and having a cute sales assistant approach you and ask, ‘’Do you need any assistance with finding your way through those BBC dildos, sir?’’ After all, it’s way easier to buy them online!

Well, it’s easier if you choose the right site! Choosing the wrong one and getting your hands on dodgy sex toys can be a disaster. At best, you can end up with a rash from some shitty sex toy materials. At worst? Shit, maybe that robot sex doll you bought will become self-aware and trigger a Terminator-style scenario in your bedroom. That’s why I’ve decided to review them all and show you what’s what, which brings me to the topic of today’s review: Svltoys.com!

What is Svltoys.com?

Svltoys.com is one of the latest online sex doll stores to burst onto our screens and first got set up in 2024. It’s a store that wants to cater to guys, girls, and couples and ensure a mind-bending flood of toe-curling orgasms for its customers. How? By letting them invest in a fuck tonne of sex toys! It might be new, but its portfolio and customer base are both growing fast!

What Kind of Sex Toy Arsenal Does Svltoys.com Have?

From classic vibrators to good ol’ dildos and high-grade Bluetooth sex toys to wild penis pumps, Svltoys.com appears to have everything a horny motherfucker like me, and you need to cum so hard we forget what our own names are. Still, I want to find out if it can deliver on its promises, and to do that; I decided to look into some of the most popular XXX toys from its collection.

● This Two-Pronged Toy Might Ruin Your Bedsheets - Look, there are plenty of women out there who can no doubt relate to feeling the sensation of a cock plowing their pussy and thinking, ‘’fuck, I wish I had a tongue lapping at my clit at the same time!’’ Well, unless you’re down to find a willing cuck who is happy to put his face on the frontline of a fuck fest and lick you to orgasm while a pair of balls are slapping his face, this toy will have to do! It’s a wild little invention that combines a thrusting dildo with a rose sex toy. While the former pounds your cunt and triggers your G-spot, the latter sucks and laps at your clit until you experience the kind of orgasms that are usually only reserved for Hotwives with a willing sub!

● The Ideal Stroker For Porn Fanatics - Fellas, don’t you hate it when you’re mid-stroke in a particularly intense wank, and you have to switch the porn on your screen, smearing pre-cum and lube all over it by accident? Well, the StrokerXP has your horny ass covered. This is a wild toy that looks like it fell from a damn spaceship and combines a high-tech pocket pussy device with a screen holder for you to slot a smartphone in and start watching porn. Using the handles and button system on the side, you can control everything from the porn on the screen to the thrusts of the lifelike cunt massaging your dick. The future is now, motherfucker!

● The Pleasure Fusion Pro is Ideal For Couples Who Want Porn-Grade Sessions - ‘’I don’t need sex toys, Porn Dude! I’ve got a hot bitch at home whom I can fuck whenever I want!’’ I hear you say. Well, wait until you see the next toy, and let’s see if you say the same! The Pleasure Fusion Pro is a high-tech cock piece that wraps around your shaft, keeps your meat as hard as Soviet steel, and delays ejaculation so you can deliver the kind of porn-tier performance in the bedroom and have your bitch cumming harder than she ever has in her life. It’s the kind of accessory every dude should have in his arsenal. After all, it’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it, right?

The Design of the Sex Store

Svltoys.com has a pretty badass design overall, and it’s a site that looks sleek as fuck from the moment you first arrive. It starts with a small two-tone logo spelling out the site’s name with a horse logo accompanying it. Opposite, you’ll see links to your account, card, and a dropdown list of currencies.

Underlining the top of the header is a sleek main menu with links pointing to the site’s sex toy categories, such as women, guys, couples, vibrators, anal toys, etc. This is followed by a massive banner section that has a cool graphic of different sex toys, an intro to the site and its mission, and a CTA Button for you to sink deeper into its portfolio of categories.

Further down is an array of eight toys currently on sale, each with moving GIFs showcasing the toy and its functions, along with a snapshot of the title, price, and reviews it has. The same format is repeated for the following sections covering the best-selling toys amongst men and women on the site.

Towards the bottom of Svltoys.com’s homepage, you’ll see a selection of popular site categories organized with easy-on-the-eye featured images. There’s also a series of selling points the site has to offer, along with a snapshot into some of the latest sex toy reviews verified customers have left on Svltoys.com.

What I Like Most About It

Svltoys.com doesn’t exactly feel like a site that was set up in 2024. Instead, it feels like it’s been around for way longer. Its sex toy collection is pretty damn impressive, and the site has gone for quality over quantity, choosing the kind of toys that they know will guarantee toe-curling pleasure rather than just overpriced junk.

The site’s review section is also pretty damn cool. So far, Svltoys.com has amassed more than 3,000 customer reviews, and they can be a great way to get insight into the site and determine whether it’s trustworthy or not. More importantly, they sometimes come packed with solid tips about the toys in question, how best to use them, and who they’re best suited for.

Oh, and another epic element on Svltoys.com is the moving GIFs the site has deployed for the toys’ featured images. These allow you to not only see what the toy looks like at a glance, but also showcase its functions and movements so you can get an idea of the kind of pleasure zones it’ll be targeting.

What I Don’t Like

There’s one thing that a site like Svltoys.com is missing, and that’s a dedicated sex toy blog covering everything their users need to know about shopping for sex toys. In terms of topics, the list is endless, and there are so many high-traffic keywords that a site like this could take advantage of, so it’s a shame to see there isn’t currently a blog on there.

Suggestions I Have For Svltoys.com

Svltoys.com has already made solid progress with building up a meaty portfolio of sex toys and a thriving customer base eager to buy them all. Now, it needs to shift its focus to building the foundations of a solid sex toy blog. Doing so will be a great boost for the site, beef up its authority in the niche, and extend its customer outreach, so I highly suggest making a start on this.

Conclusion

You never know what you’re going to get with a sex toy store that doesn’t have much of a long history behind it, but Svltoys.com was a pleasant surprise overall. Whether you’re a guy, girl, or couple looking to revolutionize your masturbation or fucking experiences, then a site like Svltoys.com can beef up your sex toy war chest with some very kinky gadgets, indeed!