CupsLand

I never would have guessed Cupsland made things you can stick your dick inside of if I’d just heard the name. A lot of brands roll with something at least a little bit suggestive, and to be honest, I’m not sure exactly what Cupsland was aiming for with the name. It sounds like they make dishes, not male masturbators, but hey, what’s in a name? If you boil this whole industry down to just the very basics, the only thing that really matters is how well any adult website helps get you off, whether we’re talking hookup platforms, free porn tubes, or sex toy shops.

Cupsland.com describes itself as a brand that “promotes a lifestyle that encourages men to explore their desires, offering realistic experiences and high-quality products for ultimate self-pleasure.” That’s a real fancy way of saying they make sex toys for dudes, though I appreciate the intellectualizing. It sure sounds sophisticated, don’t it? The company has been around in some form or another for around 15 years now, but have been getting some recent press thanks to the release of their new Twirl 1.0 adjustable masturbator. They even sent me one to play with, so it seemed like a good time to learn more about these perverts and what they have to offer.

Where’d These Guys Even Come From?

I could have sworn I’d heard the name Cupsland before the Twirl came out, so I typed the brand name into the search bar at one of my favorite online sex toy shops. Sure enough, I found a few automated cock-suckers with various vibration speeds. The company has a history of well-received products. They’re relatively cheap compared to other electronic fap gizmos, and the user reviews at AcmeJoy are pretty fucking solid. We’ll come back to these themes of low pricing and fuckworthy gadgetry in a minute here.

Turns out, the company was launched back in 2009, but they weren’t making their own toys just yet. They started as another internet sex shop, shipping off a catalog of over a thousand naughty items to horny dudes around the world. They decided to start developing their own products in 2022, when the company’s founder “saw the need for products that focus on deeper male fantasies”. It sounds a little bit like marketing fluff, because fap sleeves are more of a supplement to your fantasies, not the fantasies themselves; I didn’t pop any wood just looking at pics of the Twirl.

According to Cupsland.com, the company was officially born in 2024. It looks like all those years they spent as retailers helped them learn a thing or two and make some connections, because they’ve got pretty impressive reach for such a new company. You can find their products on many of the sites on my list of Online Sex Toy Shops here at ThePornDude, though the Twirl 1.0 is still a Cupsland.com exclusive.

You’ll see images of that new toy plastered all over the website, often held by a goateed dude in a wife beater. I assumed he was just some Zoolander they hired for a photoshoot, but nah, turns out that’s the guy who started the company, Caleb Harrison. You can tell the guy is serious about self-love, because he’s put pictures of himself all over the website. Hey, I get it. I’ve got my own handsome mug stamped all over my site for the same reason!

You ever find a Wikipedia entry about a small-time celebrity who clearly did the writeup themself? That’s how the About Us page reads, and I’ve got to give it to my dude Caleb for his spirit of entrepreneurship. There’s a lot of hype here, talking about his innovation, passion and adventurous drive. It’s a believable if inflated backstory, but in the end, it doesn’t matter much. We’re just here to jack off, Caleb.

So Let’s Talk About That Twirl

Reading through that About Us page, I noticed another variation of that funny front-page mission statement. “Caleb noticed a common phenomenon: while the market’s toys were technologically advanced, they often overemphasized sexual stimulation, neglecting the deeper sexual fantasies of men, particularly those elite men who pursue a high-quality life.” The toys of Cupsland.com, they say, are designed to address these neglected needs.

As a man of myriad, oft-deep sexual fantasies and masturbatory needs, I was curious how their products would help me explore them better than the average truck-stop pocket pussy. I made my way to the Products section of Cupsland.com to find out, expecting to find a range of their products like I’d found on other sites. I’m not sure why, but the Twirl 1.0 is currently the only thing available directly from the Cupsland website.

The Twirl is an enclosed masturbator, the fleshy and textured pink sleeve wrapped in a sculpted plastic shell. Why is it called the Twirl? Because you twirl the end to adjust the intensity, with four levels of tightness to personalize your masturbatory experience.

If that sounds like a Fleshlight, well, it’s because it’s basically a Fleshlight with a different twisty mechanism for regulating the pressure. It is, however, cheaper than your average Fleshlight. The Twirl 1.0 currently goes for about $70, which is the same price you’d pay for only the most basic, bare-bones version of the big-name competitor. Once you roll in the Cupsland.com coupon included on the website, you’re even beating that price. They throw in free shipping, too, making it way cheaper than your last Tinder date. You’ll actually get your rocks off this time, too.

Twirling Away My Afternoon

The Cupsland Twirl 1.0 arrived at my place in an inconspicuous box labeled PORN DUDE, but yours should be a lot more discreet unless you’ve got a funny name. (I’m talking to you, Buttfucker McGee!) The packaging is sleek, and comes with one of those diatom sticks for drying it out after you rinse out your big fat load of sticky cum.

I couldn’t find it listed whether the NaturSKIN inner sleeve is made of silicone or TPE, but it felt fucking great. Currently, the only insert available is the vagina-themed one it comes with, though I have to assume more are on the way. It’d be such a waste of a good modular design if they didn’t release more; the thing pops in and out of the case with ease. More sleeves would give users more reasons to come back and spend more money. More!

Twisting the top offers four noticeably different intensities, tightening up with every notch. I do wonder if they settled on four positions for aesthetic purposes, because the edges of the case line up with each click. I’m no sex toy engineer, as my Emergency Room bill can attest, but I’d prefer a smoother rotation with more positions. The innards are plastic grinding on plastic, moving so stiffly that I took mine apart and greased it up. If you’ve got lube on your hands, good luck adjusting that sucker.

Based on the fact that they’ve named it the Twirl 1.0, I’m guessing they’re already planning out their improvements. The thing’s a big upgrade from your hand in its current state, and some little tweaks could potentially elevate the company to major player status in the sex toy game.

Cupsland designs their products with discretion in mind, but how discreet are they? To me, the Twirl and their other products sure as hell look like sex toys, but I say that as a man with a walk-in closet full of fap sleeves, onaholes, pocket pussies, fake butts and fuck robots. It’s definitely less recognizable than a “flashlight” with a cap on the end, but that’s only because Cupsland doesn’t have the requisite level of brand recognition. Yet.

I’m really curious to see what Cupsland.com comes up with next. The folks behind the scenes have been in the adult toy industry for over a decade, and they’ve had a great first year run as a toy maker themselves. You’ve got a lot of options out there when it comes to contraptions you can play with while perusing the other delights I gather here at ThePornDude, and it takes a lot to get noticed in this crowded field. Cupsland already has an edge, so let’s see if they can keep it.