Nothosaur

Nothosaur is a name that might not ring a bell for the average pervert, but if you’re among a certain demographic, you’re probably familiar with what they sell. Their fantastical toys are the kind of things people share photos of just for shits and giggles, though the novelty factor alone can’t account for the company’s longevity or popularity. No, you don’t stick around in this business unless your products are turning your customers on, getting them off, and helping them realize their fantasies.

Certain wet dreams take a special touch to realize, and that’s where Nothosaur.com comes into play. Since 2010, they’ve been selling realistic fantasy sex toys based on aliens, animals and assorted beasts. They’re a go-to shop for anybody in the market for a cumming horse dildo, a silicone tentacle or an ovipositor to pump you full of eggs, and not just because the nearest highway sex shop only carries fake human dongs. Read on and I’ll tell you all about their collection of unique products, including the freaky-ass custom fap sleeve they sent me.

That Really Looks Like a Horse’s Dick

There comes a point in every furry or scalie’s life that they realize they’re not alone. Maybe it was an explicit image of a big-dicked fox man on Reddit that did it for you, or maybe your big brain just caught some of the kinky subtext only vaguely hidden in your favorite cartoon. Once you fall down that rabbit hole, you realize that world of anthropomorphized animal sex ain’t just something you made up for yourself. Hell, I’m sometimes still surprised by the scope of the online furry scene, and I review porno for a living.

There’s a similar epiphany to be had upon discovering Nothosaur.com for the first time. “Holy shit, somebody actually made that blue wolf pecker I’ve been dreaming about all these years!” As I type this up, the front page greets visitors with a spread of featured products that include a double-pronged dildo/buttplug belonging to a gentle forest giant, a Lovecraftian phallus wrapped in vines and tentacles, a dwarf dingdong that looks like it belongs to Swamp Thing, and a big ol’ number meant to simulate the mighty shaft of none other than Anubis himself.

There’s also a highly realistic horse cock called Hunter Jack among the featured spread. Companies making deep-niche products often do a half-ass job because they know their consumers have little choice, but holy fucking shit, this thing looks like a legit equine erection, veins and shading and all. The only unrealistic element is the bullet belt wrapped just above the base. If Mr. Hands had known about Nothosaur, he might still be alive, not continuing to spread trauma around the internet.

That high level of quality has won Nothosaur awards. They took home the Best Sci Fi Toy at the 2022 Bazowie Awards for their Necron series, which is featured on the front page. These dildos are designed to look like they come from cybernetic centaurs, and I could tell even before I read the blurb that they were inspired by the work of H.R. Giger. There’s an attention to detail that you don’t get with the average simulated human boner. You can tell the company ain’t a fetishistic cash grab, but a true labor of love by folks who love what they do, and probably use what they’re making.

That love is apparent on pretty much every page of the website. I know you might miss it because you’re so busy looking for the perfect knot dildo for the dog fucker in your life, but they’ve actually spent a lot of time crafting the artwork and lore behind every piece in their catalog. The description for the Graemen cumming wolf-dude cock contains a 500-word blurb with a whole backstory and everything. “It likes to tease the unlucky guy he has just rescued with his proud weapon.” Kinky!

Let’s Look at Some More of These Crazy Dildos

Nothosaur.com makes a nice, wide selection of sex toys you’re going to have a hard time finding elsewhere. Well, you can find them elsewhere when they’re in stock, but Nothosaur is one of just a couple companies making adult products aimed at this demographic. The company’s active on Amazon, but I’d rather shop the full collection without having to navigate the adults-only filter of the shopping giant.

Because what a collection it is. The catalog is heavily stacked with dildos of all shapes, sizes and colors, and the visuals ain’t the only thing that sets them apart from your average purchase from the Déjà Vu Love Boutique. They’ve got a baker’s dozen pretend schlongs fitted with pumps, so they can cum and squirt. They even sell a really creamy looking Cum Lubricant, so you can max out the realism.

Nothosaur’s aisle of Zodiac dildos is worth a look, if only to see how they’ve made your star sign into something you can shove up your butt. They’ve made a scorpion look pretty cock-like, and the Capricorn toy is a surrealist work of art. Leos get a giant-tongued lion, equipped for some big cat cunnilingus.

But what if you don’t want to get licked by the king of the jungle or knocked up by the fire-breathing guard of the deepest dungeon? What if your fantasy is being impregnated by an alien who lays an egg in the orifice of your choice? In that case, check out Nothosaur.com’s selection of ovipositor dildos. You can buy premade “Oggs” to get laid inside of you, or you can buy a mold and make your own.

There are some limitations based on which items you spring for, but most Nothosaur sex toys are customizable. You can choose just the right size to fill you up, pick out your favorite colors, and even select the perfect firmness. It’s like the story about Goldilocks, only in this version, you get to fuck the bears.

Anything for Straight Furry Dudes?

Nothosaur.com is ostensibly a dildo shop, and as such, most of the products are dick-shaped and aimed at women and the LGBTQIA+ community. They’ve also got fantasy packers for FTM folks to carry in their drawers, alien grinders for external vulva stimulation, and a fancy strap-on harness for putting one of those literal monster cocks to good use.

There ain’t a ton of products for the average straight dude, but there are a few. The tentacle-shaped urethra sounds might be up your alley if you’re kinky, and they’ve also got goblin ball-sack cock rings and a handful of penis extenders that look like something out of your weirdest sex dream. Imagine if your dick turned into a fish with abs and then you fucked your wife, or just buy the thing and try it for yourself.

There’s also the item they sent me. Virgo’s Throne is a double-ended masturbation sleeve, but it doesn’t look like a human mouth, pussy or butthole, nor does it resemble a flashlight or any other inconspicuous item. No, it’s another sex toy that looks like it could have been sculpted by H.R. Giger himself. In a different color, it might look like it had angel wings wrapped around it, but mine looks more like a bug with its legs folded in. I’m reminded of something between the xenomorph eggs of Alien and the face-huggers they hatch into.

Despite the somewhat terrifying appearance, I really enjoyed sticking my dick inside of it. The attention to detail extends into the interior, where the channel is textured with little nubs that feel like… fucking an alien bug? Only this is an incredible wet dream, not a blood-curdling nightmare. That ain’t sweat all over the sheets.

Virgo’s Throne only comes in one softness, which turned out to be perfect for me, but I did ask Nothosaur for custom colors: pink on the inside, blue on the outside. Pink just looks good inside of a fuck toy, and I love the way the inner color blends with the outer shade, highlighting the otherworldly molding of the thing. Even with the customization, shipping was fast; I had my personalized fantasy fap sleeve in just a few days.

Honestly, Nothosaur.com is the kind of site I could recommend to anybody just looking to kill a few minutes, but it’s an even easier recommendation to anybody in the market for a fantasy sex toy. They’ve got an impressive catalog of highly detailed, highly customizable dildos and other fuckable trinkets that look like they came straight out of a hentai episode or your favorite furry comic. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to get it on with a unicorn, a tentacle monster, or a whole-ass horse, well, wonder no more. Nothosaur will help you live those fantasies.