With a name like WatchXXXFree, you know pretty much what you’re going to get before the site even loads. You’re going to be able to watch pornography, and you’re not going to have to pay for it. It’s the classic something-for-nothing model used by all the free porn tubes.
Sometimes deals aren’t as great as they seem, though. You can find no-cost smut all over the Internet these days, so you don’t want to waste your time looking at shitty tubes. Does WatchXXXFree offer anything that makes it stand out over its competitors? We’d better check it out.
Looks Can Be Deceiving
Watch XXX Free has the same basic format as every other free porn tube on the Internet. There’s a site logo, a simple header, a search bar, and then a massive grid of porno movies. The white-on-black layout looks sleek and polished, though the logo is just okay. It doesn’t even say WatchXXXFree, it just says XXXHD.
The thumbnails show top-shelf smut with the big-name pornstars you know and love. During my visit, the latest vids featured a Club Seventeen scene of Mia Malkova eating dick, a Passion-HD movie with Autumn Falls getting fucked, and a NewSensations video of Angela White getting her clit worked with a vibrator while her legs are chained over her head.
The bottom of the screen has a section dedicated to the newest Brazzers and BangBros clips. These videos have a little more info, including a written description beside the thumbnail. Sexy Mrs. Clause Gets Her Fix is a story that begins with Mrs. Clause, played by Lexi Luna in a painted-on outfit, masturbating while her son watches. Her son, incidentally, is a reindeer.
Hmm. All of the sites I’ve mentioned so far are paysites, and the videos on WatchXXXFree aren’t the short clips meant to lure you in for a full membership. I guess I can’t be totally certain, but I’m fairly confident this is stolen material, posted without permission.
But fuck. I just blew my whole paycheck at the Asian massage parlor and I’m not sure I can even cover rent. I’m telling you: do not get addicted to the full release. Piracy ain’t the classiest thing, but I never said I was a classy man. It’s fair to say that sometimes The Porn Dude lets his dick do the thinking.
What Website Am I Even On?
Based on how gorgeous the site looks, I went to the truck-stop porno-shop off the highway and stocked up on some supplies. I got a new silicone pussy, an artificial asshole, and a simulated mouth. They said the barrel of lube they carted out to my ride was the biggest one they had.
I was ready to spend some serious time with WatchXXXFree. This was going to be some marathon-type shit. I even bought a bunch of Viagra off some creep lurking near the peep shows so I wouldn’t run out of juice. I popped one on the drive home so it would kick in right when I got there.
My cock was throbbing, rock hard, busting through my pants like The Hulk when I finally brought WatchXXXFree back up. The page loaded, but before I could click anything it sent me to another page. That page was actually broken, a 404 error, so I was redirected again to what looked like the main page. The problem was that I wasn’t on WatchXXXFree anymore. I’d been redirected to WatchXXXFreeInHD.
I’ve been accused of being a pervert, a creep, a scumbag, even a sexual predator. One thing I’m not, though, is a liar. If I say I’m going to review a website, I’m not going to get sidetracked beating off to its sister site. I closed the tab and typed in WatchXXXFree.com once more.
It happened again and again. Even if I tried to come in through the side with a link to a specific video, I’d always end up at WatchXXXFreeinHD before I could even watch a video.
Brutal Hardcore XXX Spam Rape
What the hell is going on? The bouncing between domains is annoying as hell. The thing is, it’s not half as annoying as the other, bigger issue with WatchXXXfree/WatchXXXFreeInHD. Both problems are directly tied to each other.
Even with an ad-blocker enabled, the site hits you with brutal spam right away. It’s not subtle. This ain’t whisper in your ear, seduce you into spending spam. This is surprise anal penetration, you’re coming with me spam.
One of the things that makes the Internet so amazing is the simplicity of it. You click something and end up somewhere else. Click and Go. It’s as simple as that. The entire fucking web works like that except for spammy porn sites.
On WatchXXXFree, almost everything you do will require more than the standard one click. Want to head to the All Categories page? Click the All Categories link, close the aggressive pop-up claiming your computer has a virus, and then click the link again. Want to see a video? It’s the same process, only you also get another pop-up when you actually try to play it.
It’s bad enough that Google classified it as an Abuse Experience and banned WatchXXXFree.com from their services. All that bouncing around between domains that happens on the site is their attempt to work their way around the ban. The irony is that WatchXXXFreeInHD is also banned.
The whole thing is a cat and mouse game. WatchXXXFreeInHD is getting millions of hits a month, even with the terrible ad experience. As long as they keep getting enough traffic to make a profit, they’ll keep adding URLs and Google will keep swatting them down. I noticed a WatchXXXFree.xyz in there at some point, but I wanted to look at titties too much to eyeball the address bar the whole time.
But Can We At Least Watch Porno?
I went back to the All Categories page and then made my way to the Moms Bang Teens area. I closed a few pop-unders along the way, in the process finding out that my FREE download is ready, my laptop is infected with computer AIDS that only one sketchy company can cure, and I can get a pretty good deal on a dress from China.
I finally landed on a FilthyFamily offering with Brooklyn Chase and Kenzie Reeves called Stepmom Sexing Her Stepkids Fight. WatchXXXFree and WatchXXXFreeInHD at least have a decent tagging system in place, so it will be easy enough to jump from here to other videos with Big Ass, Big Tits, Blondes or Threesomes. There will be spam along the way.
It’s funny that they currently want to steer you to the WatchXXXFreeInHD domain, because this video ain’t HD and the quality is non-adjustable. It’s certainly good enough. You’re not going to say, “Oh, I see a pixel on this little blonde slut eating her brother’s cock and now I can’t get hard.” No, it’s hot as fuck, it’s just not HD.
The player is basic and does the trick, but you won’t want to touch it much. Every time you play, pause, adjust the volume or try to jump around to different points of the movie, you’re going to be dealing with spam. It’s fucking obnoxious. I looked for a download button, hoping to offset the problem, but couldn’t find a way to save anything.
You know, if I hadn’t wasted my money on the Chinese handjob, WatchXXXFreeInHD could probably make me sign up for a premium site. Kenzie Reeves is such a gorgeous, depraved little whore. The movie is fucking amazing, top-shelf, and I’d like to watch it in real HD, and be able to do it without having spam cover the fucking screen every few seconds.
WatchXXXFree (or WatchXXXFreeInHD, or whatever they’re calling themselves by the time you read this) does have the goods they’re claiming. These are the most beautiful sluts in the world, starring in the best fuck films ever shot, and you can watch them all for free.
Where WatchXXXFree completely fails is in the delivery. Yeah, they’ve got that good shit, but the spam is so aggressive that it will ruin the experience for most potential masturbators. I would steer far clear of this garbage excuse for a free porn tube.