Gwendoline Christie Nude

Jesus Christ this woman is so blonde. She’s blonder than any blonde that ever blonded. When it comes to my preferences, I don’t have any. A hole is a hole. The only chick I wouldn’t bang is someone with crazy progressive hair. You know what I’m talking about. Not the ones with pink or blue hair. I find those cute. If she has colored hair chances are she’s young and her pussy is tight. I’m talking about chicks with 30 different colors. Buzzcut on one side and a braid on the other. Like some mythical creature from another planet. They look like bizarre aliens. If they were actual aliens I’d fuck them, of course. You have to try everything once. I would gladly put my dick in some blue skinned crazy haired alien. Back to my point.

Gwendoline’s general blondness really works for me. Makes her look really fresh and clean. On many chicks, this type of hyper blonde hair just washes them out. Nah, Gwendoline looks hot as fuck just the way she is. Mix in some red lipstick and you know my dick is getting wet. The combo just works really well together. Pale skin, bright hair and a pop of super-duper red lipstick. It’s a very bold look. I like me a bold woman. It’s nice to change it up sometimes you know. I usually go for the dumb blondes. But if a blonde mommy dommy comes my way, I’m not saying no. Hey, I deserve to be tied up as much as the next dude. I’m telling you. Experimentation is key to a good sex life. So, heed my words. If an older lady like Gwendoline comes your way, you’re in for some fun. Chicks like her are seasoned and experienced. Don’t be afraid to switch it up and be a sub.

Hot Stuff

I do not give a flying shit if she’s old. You hear me? This woman has my heart. And my penis. Heck, she can have my apartment too. I have space here for such an elegant beauty. There’s a trick that older ladies in Hollywood do to look younger than they actually are. To have fewer creases in the forehead and acne scars on the cheeks. That trick is, well, a lot of fucking cash. Yeah. Who knows what shit they use on their faces. When you have loads of cash and your face is what everyone’s looking at, you’re going to treat it like you would treat a newborn baby.

I’ve heard about these methods. You wouldn’t believe the batshit crazy stuff they use to look hot at an older age. I’ve heard of shit like nail oils. That’s a tamer example. What about placentas? Yeah, that’s a thing. I’m 100% sure a lot of them use semen. Semen has wonderful qualities that enhance a woman’s beauty and health. I’ve read once that it even acts as an antidepressant. But more to the point, they use it as a facial treatment. I love it. They can all give me a call. I have a lot of cum to spare. Finishing on a woman’s face is one of life’s greater pleasures. And they’ll get the benefit of staying young.

I bet Gwendoline uses all these weird ass treatments too. She’s a celebrity, of course she does. And it works for her. She’s an old lady, yeah. But her face is smooth, like a baby’s butt. I want to rub my dick on it. Her face, not the… never mind. It’s not a fetish or a kink, you pervert. It’s just out of curiosity. I bet it’ll feel smooth as fuck. Then I can face fuck her, naturally. When I look at her, something weird happens. I don’t instantly go “hot”. I kind of want to have a chat with her over scotch on the rocks. Sit in some leather chairs, smoke cigars. After that we can get to the fucking. I feel like I want to her to know her. I think it’s the age that’s giving me this feeling.

Her elegant looks make me want to respect her and give her proper attention. I’m not completely averse to having a conversation with a woman, okay? Most of the time, we go right to the pp in vagina. But that’s just for sport. And a lot of cummies. Once in a while I want a chick that will meet me on an intellectual level. See, I told you I have a heart. It might be surrounded in black goo, but it’s still beating.

Thank You, Game of Thrones

You wouldn’t look at Gwendoline Christie and think: Yeah, that’s a girl that takes her clothes off a lot. I mean, she’s elegant, she’s tall, she’s strong, she gives off extreme feminist vibes. She seems like the kind of girl who only takes her clothes off when she feels is the right time. And that’s probably why her entire body is on display for the world to see. She’s done some shameless naked photography for some theater related work that I am not really familiar with, but I’ve seen the stills. It’s literally just her being naked. That’s the whole photo shoot. It’s casual and calm and honestly not very sexy, but good on her for being proud of herself.

As for what you actually get out of the nudes, well, they’re a bit dry. Ms. Christie might be an elegant mommy of a woman, but when she’s just standing there, naked, posing like a soldier, she’s not moving a lot of cocks, I’ll say that much. Look, her tits are basically non-existent and her torso is shaped like a brick. Sounds mean but, let’s not forget, we’re not children anymore – a woman can be a fuckable piece of ass regardless of her proportions. Gwendoline Christie brings more than just curves to the table, she brings personality and charm. Plus, there’s a hot scene in Game of Thrones where she gets naked for that prince fellow, the one who’s missing an arm. It’s shot from behind so you see a closeup of her wet ass cheeks, entering a hot tub. It’s hot. Her ass is definitely her best feature, if I had to pick one.

The Older the Hotter

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I think I’m developing a new fetish. Or is it just a new preference. Maybe I’m actually maturing or something. I always used to go for the younger girls. The younger the better. They’re smooth and tasty. Their asses are lickable. Their boobies are perky and don’t sag. With less life experience, I’m the one who gets to teach them all the fun sex plays. But Christine has done something to me. I Googled her young. People always, and I mean always, without a miss, look better young. It’s just human psychology. It’s all about health and shit. But my dongus isn’t rising for young Gwendoline as it should be. I think she broke my penis. What the fuck is going on? I actually prefer her older.

I think it’s all about the dommy mommy thing. Maybe I’ve been watching too much BDSM porn lately. I have no idea. But I want her on my cock as she is right now. The younger version can gracefully fuck off. Not that she’s not attractive. But she looks like someone who makes albums about boys. Sings about apple trees and working in retail stores. Some from of lame boring pop music teen girls fawn over. Basically, she looks plain and uninteresting. In contrast, old Gwendoline looks like a mamacita. She looks like she knows something I don’t. A sex thing. I want her to teach me. This is the kind of woman that would probably peg me. And I’ll probably like it. Fuck. What am I even saying? This woman has power over my cock. And I kind of like it. Fuck it, I’m going all in. Dear Gwendoline Christie, you are invited to the Porn Dude’s mojo dojo casa house. Bring your finest strap on. And lots of lube. Make it strawberry flavored. I’ll be feeding you chocolate covered strawberries and we’re going to listen to smooth jazz.

And Then She Opened Her Mouth

I was fucking hoping that she would be a dumbass. She could have been cringe. Maybe an asshole and painfully unlikable. Then I would get out of this weird haze of wanting to respect a woman and give her attention. But she had to be fucking charming. Not fair. I’m throwing a tantrum. She’s smart as fuck too. She’s a deep thinker and expresses herself very eloquently.

She’s even sexier when I see her in action. You know, not in pictures and shit. Her mannerisms, facial expressions and general way of being are very attractive. Don’t get me wrong. I still want to and am going to face fuck her. But this time I won’t pull up my pants and leave right after we fuck. Or I don’t know, maybe I will. Post nut clarity is a real thing. Maybe I should just fap to her and see how I feel after that. I’ll potentially be rid of this awful affliction of wanting a woman to speak. I’ll do my test and get back to you in 2 to 5 business days.