Plants VS Cunts

In a war of Plants Vs Cunts, who do you think would win? In real life, I don’t think there’s a flower, herb or weed with the initiative to go on the attack in the first place, but I’ve seen some pretty weird shit in hentai. That said, this next site ain’t the botanically themed, X-rated manga library or adult video game I’d expected when the link first slid into my DMs. Instead, I found something even more surprising and perhaps even more titillating, though it’s going to depend a lot on just what kind of pervert you are and what you’re into.

One thing is sure, though: you ain’t going to find porn like this anywhere else. This may be a hardcore porno video site, but the title is meant to be taken literally. PlantsVSCunts.com is hawking premium porn where women are fucked by aggressive, horny plants. They’re a brand-new site in one of the deepest niches out there, but their traffic has already been spiking by the hundreds of thousands. I’m a sucker for a fuck flick in general, and I’m always eager to see something that breaks from the usual handful of molds I see on a daily basis. Who’s with me?

Tentacle Porn and Botanical Bukkake

I know I opened by saying you ain’t going to find anything else like PlantsVSCunts on the internet, but some of you may already be thinking this place looks familiar. The truth is, this ain’t the company’s first weird-ass, sexy rodeo. They’ve been putting out their own brand of live-action hentai for a few years now on sites like Hentaied, Parasited and Futanari.xxx, all of which I’ve reviewed here at ThePornDude. Their work is truly unique and I’ve been a fan since the beginning, though I was initially worried their niche would be too deep to survive. I’m happy to see them not just thriving, but expanding in new directions like this one.

The vibe here is going to be very familiar if you’ve seen their earlier sites. PlantsVSCunts.com offers the kind of extreme fetishism I associate with tiny little amateur sites but with production values much higher than your average paysite. The front page greets you with an auto-playing montage like I expect from the big boys, but the actual content of the video is going to blow your mind, blow your load and make you ask, “What the fuck?”

Do you like beautiful, naked women? Do you want to see them get penetrated in their various holes and hosed down with a thick, creamy fluid? Porn fans will typically say yes to these questions, but they’re assuming the penetration will be penile and the fluids will be regular ol’ cum with perhaps some female squirt mixed in. As that montage will make very clear, it’s not men but plants who will be doing all the poking, prodding and pumping.

The girls are getting groped by vines instead of handsy octopi, but let’s be real, this is high-quality, live-action tentacle porn. The success of Hentaied proved that there is a market for the genre, and it’s apparently a lucrative enough market to launch another variation. Tentacle erotica has been around since at least the 1700s, but it’s often relegated to the punchlines of hentai jokes. If you need any further proof that you ain’t the only one beating off to the stuff, look no further than PlantsVSCunts.

Tentacle porn ain’t the only atypical theme explored at Plants VS Cunts. The front page mentions vine bondage, plant bukkake and even plant vore. No shit, my dudes, I think this is the very first paysite I’ve seen that even touches on the vore fetish, and I look at porn for a living. These are common kinks in hentai but entirely new frontiers in video porn, and I can’t wait to see what this company unveils next.

Cheap Tickets for a Truly Unique Show

PlantsVSCunts.com is still so new that they’re offering introductory pricing. Right now, it costs about half as much as you’d pay for your average premium porn site; you can get two months here for what I charge for a month of PornDudeCasting. They’re asking the industry-standard thirty bones a month for their other sites, so I assume they’ll raise the Plants VS Cunts price once the catalog gets bigger.

The only immediate downside to PlantsVSCunts is that, as a newer site, their catalog is still pretty slim. They’ve only got 8 movies in the stack as I type this up, though they’re unlike the content you’ll find anywhere else. Runtimes are relatively short, typically hovering between 12 and 20 minutes. That ain’t surprising given all the extra time, effort and money that goes into these films. Your average porn producer doesn’t even have a special effects budget.

On a similar note, Plants VS Cunts doesn’t release movies as quickly as their more vanilla counterparts. Again, this is going to boil down largely to budget restrictions; their movies cost more to make but won’t sell as well as the taboo family roleplay flicks on every other paysite. It’s a little early to say what the PlantsVSCunts.com release schedule will look like, but I’m expecting a single release or two per month like the company’s other brands.

Downloads are not included at Plants VS Cunts. If you want to save a copy for your permanent spank bank, they do have Video On Demand available. It’s pricey at 15 euros a pop, and while I’d normally complain about this setup, I’m going to cut these guys some slack. They’re putting out high-budget, deep-niche fetish porn without gouging their customers on the regular rate, so the VOD price tags seem fair.

Famous Pornstars Fucking Plants

After poking around PlantsVSCunts and getting a lay of the land, it was finally time to settle in for my official fap test. Even with just a handful of relatively short films, I wasn’t sure where to begin my masturbatory journey. The videos all look freaky, kinky, and fun, and the casting is consistently enticing, too.

This company has been delivering steady surprises since their earliest days online. Deep-niche fetish porn is often shot with the cheapest models somebody found on Tinder, but Hentaied was shooting with babes like Valentina Nappi right out the gate. PlantsVSCunts.com continues this tradition by making films with famous pornstars and rising starlets.

Jia Lissa is the biggest name on the PlantsVSCunts roster right now, and I never miss an opportunity to watch the redhead at work. She’s in Plants VS Cunts Vol 1, the first release on the site, which opens with the girl alone in the woods. There’s some ominous music as she looks around, calling out for a lost pet and walking into a dimly lit house.

About two minutes in, Jia gets knocked down by a vine. She’s out cold while it pulls off her skirt and wraps around her body as the spooky music drones on. When she comes to, she’s fully naked and the vines have her tightly restrained to a gate. She squeals and begs, struggles and whimpers. The acting is pretty solid for a porno, giving the whole thing an X-rated horror movie feel.

When the tentacles start probing, it turns from X-rated horror into… R-rated porno? It’s hard to define a niche that didn’t really exist before, but like their other sites, PlantsVSCunts can be most easily defined as live-action hentai. Unlike the animated Japanese stuff, though, there’s no censorship here. I’d love to ask an anti-porn prude what they think of this. Is it dirtier or cleaner when the babe’s being penetrated by a vine instead of a dick?

I don’t want to spoil anything, but forceful tentacles aren’t the only hentai genre being explored in this video. It’s tagged with Plants, which you expected, as well as Blowjob and Creampie, which are standard on any porn site. The Cumflation tag, on the other hand, is something you deserve to see in live action at least once. If you like it, hey, why not stick around?

PlantsVSCunts.com isn’t exactly the easiest recommendation to give the average masturbator, but I’d definitely recommend a peek if you’re into hentai and would like to see how it plays out with real, live humans. Fans of the company’s earlier work are going to love this botanical variation on the genre, and honestly? This is the kind of thing that’s worth a curious peek even if the thought doesn’t get you all hard and drippy. Plants VS Cunts is one of the most unique paysites I’ve seen in years, and an absolute masterpiece of deep-niche 21st century smut.