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Question. Who’s the hottest girl in comedy? I’m sure a few girls came to mind. Nowadays, you can think of at least a few comedians worth a wet dream or two. (You can think of any, really! There’s gotta be a few private albums of Roseanne Barr on somebody’s hard drive!) But it wasn’t always like that! Comedians have famously always been a bit of a boys' club. There weren’t many female names to throw around in a conversation.
And there sure as hell weren’t any hot ones! That’s until comedians like Whitney Cummings came along! Many consider Whitney Cummings to be the OG hot funny girl! Since her success, we’ve been seeing handfuls of career comedians who would probably be even more successful on the cover of a magazine! If you heard this 50 years ago, you’d probably have laughed!
Despite being one of the only females in the industry, Whitney Cummings was determined to be known as more than just “the hot one”. Over the span of her career, she has solidified herself as one of the most successful comedians in the business! I mean, you name it, she’s fucking done it: TV shows, movies, numerous specials, podcasts on YouTube. (That actually does count for success nowadays!)
Come to think of it, with a last name like Cummings, her high school years must have been pretty fucking rough. It’s no surprise that a successful career in comedy was the result of her life! Haha! I mean, it was either that or porn! I don’t think I would have minded either way! Although… I’ll be honest, she kinda seems like she would suck at porn. She’s too funny! I mean, you can be funny. You can be hot and funny. But hot and funny AND good at sex? I’m sure there was more than one reason it took her so long to get pregnant!
That’s right! Bad news for any of the wannabe Mr. Cummings out there. Whitney’s finally pregnant! It came as a shock to the world earlier this year. If you’ve followed her throughout her career, you probably know that Whitney’s been back and forth on having children for a long fucking time! It almost seemed like she would never have them. It looks like freezing those eggs really paid off!
It also looks like all of Whitney’s parasocial boyfriends are gonna have to close the book on those fantasies! Or at least keep them to yourselves! Whitney has a habit of teasing her wannabe lovers with provocative poses on her Instagram and Twitter. So, it’s not like you’ll ever run out of content to keep that imagination going! Haha!
Whitney enjoys a career in media that most people won’t see. She straddles the line between a successful media personality and “one of the people”. I wouldn’t blame the next guy for believing that he actually has a chance! She has been the subject of criticism for “only talking about sex” during her stand-up routines — Something pretty much every female comedian has had to hear at one point in their career.
Although I don’t really see the problem if it’s as hilarious as she makes it. I mean, it’s not true but even if it is… Let her? The OG hot girl of the comedy scene talking about sex? I’m definitely not complaining! And speaking of sex, Whitney has also been known for some pretty out-there comedic bits… Namely, making an entire sex bot modeled after herself. I can’t think of one comedian who’s done anything close to that kind of outrageous.
And before you check, it’s not up for commercial use. The only person using that thing is her! We’ve all wondered what it must feel like to fuck yourself. I guess Whitney doesn’t have to wonder. I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “Dude, there’s no way she’s ever actually used that thing!” Let me tell you something… Being successful doesn’t make you immune to those lonely nights. In between all the failed relationships in her bits, you seriously don’t think Whitney’s eyed that thing a few times?
Let’s be real here! Haha! That sex bot’s definitely seen some action. Don’t worry. In about 10 years, you’ll be able to fuck whatever celebrity you’d like inside of VR. Forget about a sex bot. ’m sure there’ll be enough Whitney sex simulations for everybody… Including Whitney!
Online Presence
At 41 years old, Whitney is essentially the cool hot aunt of the online world. You’ll find her on just about every part of the internet. And I mean, just about every part. From YouTube to TikTok to social media sites that I haven’t even heard of before! Not to mention, she’s also on Facebook! Which, come to think of it, is pretty normal for someone that age. I mean, you would expect a 41-year-old who isn’t famous to have a Facebook account!Right now, there are 666k followers on Facebook trying to get as close to the real Whitney as they can. And there’s a chance they actually might! Scrolling down the page, you’ll realize… a number! HER number! And I know what you’re thinking. “It’s probably fake.” “It probably belongs to some random guy.” “It’s probably a bot.” “It’s probably some data-mining agency trying to take my data.” But no, haha! That’s actually her!
Whitney allows all her Facebook fans to text her… Well, whatever the fuck they want to text her. And she’ll seriously try her best to answer them! Can you imagine the sheer number of dick pics she must have gotten? I mean, I’m not even a female celebrity, and even I receive dick pics from some of my fans! (Guys, you gotta stop. I’m not gonna rate your cocks. I couldn’t even if I had all the time in the world!)
Whitney has also been making moves that no one else has been doing! She has become one of the first people to host TV specials on Onlyfans! That’s right! She’s on Onlyfans! But I promise, it’s not what you think! You won’t find anything too far away from the pretend-sexy pics she posts on her Instagram. (Oh yeah! I probably should have mentioned her Instagram with 1.5 million followers.) You’ll have access to the kind of comedic content that would get shredded on YouTube.
I know just as well as anyone how YouTube can be when it comes to censorship. It’s an impossible game to play. OnlyFans have been smart enough to start streaming like everyone else! I mean, sex sells, you know? But so do laughs! There’s no reason Whitney can’t do both!
Hot Facts About Whitney Cummings
● Whitney’s star sign is a Virgo. I know… It’s surprising for such an out-there personality to have an earth sign. But those Virgos are generally the giving type. And that’s always something to appreciate!● I mentioned the sex robot before, right? Yeah. She has her own sex robot.
● Whitney has claimed to carry a hammer in her car in case she sees a dog left in a hot car! That is the kind of crazy I’m used to, haha!
● Whitney also does 10 pushups every time she says “sorry” when she doesn’t need to. Apparently, that’s how she stays in such good shape. She must apologize a hell of a lot!
● Apparently, Whitney broke her shoulder snowboarding once. It happened after she lied to a guy about knowing how to snowboard. (I guess it didn’t occur to her that girls like her generally don’t have to lie too much to get laid.)
Controversies/Scandals
It’s rare, but Whitney has been one of those personalities with an almost perfectly squeaky clean “public record”. She hasn’t seen much controversy in her career in entertainment. Although, one time, some guys took a snapshot of a topless picture she accidentally posted on Instagram Live. They tried to extort her for $10,000, threatening to post it for everyone. They clearly didn’t know who they were dealing with. The next day she posted it herself to Twitter!Spicy Content
I’m sure that nipple pic is floating around there somewhere! I mean, it doesn’t exactly scream “This one’s for the boys”. It was clearly supposed to be a normal selfie she just happened to take in the bath. I don’t think I can think of a more unsexy nipple pic! In terms of spicy content you’re gonna have to leave a lot to the imagination! The hottest pics you’ll find are all on her Instagram page.Things We Find Hot About Whitney Cummings
● She’s the OG hot funny girl. In a world where professional models have picked up the mic and were actually funny, that’s gotta count for something!● She’s in incredible shape and is more than happy to share that awesome figure with the world. If you have a crush on Whitney Cummings and access to her Instagram, you’re gonna be happy for a while!
Conclusion
Whitney Cummings deserves all the success she can get. With a name like “Cummings”, there were really only two places to go in the entertainment business. Comedy or what we do! With Whitney’s work ethic and genuine craziness, I’m sure she would see great success in both!- Frequent hot uploads on Instagram
- Stunning body
- Total MILF energy
- Those feet are in some real bad condition
- Tried maybe a little too hard with the Botox
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