NSFW Rule 34

Just going off the name, NSFWR34 ain’t the kind of website you should probably be browsing on company time. Then again, if you’re a professional masturbator like your old pal ThePornDude, it might be just the thing you need to brighten up your workday. The title shouldn’t be a mystery to anybody who’s spent their fair share of time shaking their dicks at the internet, but in case you’ve been sticking to the more wholesome parts of the web, allow me to break down the equation for you: it stands for Not Safe For Work, Rule 34.

You know Rule 34, right? “If it exists, there is porn of it.” While the concept can be expanded to include nearly every damn variety of fetish porn, the truism is typically applied to the cartoon, video game and comic book characters you grew up with. That’s exactly what you’ll find on NSFWR34.com, a free porn cartoon site where your favorite characters do freaky shit they never did in the original versions. They get over half a million visitors every month, so I was really eager to get in there and see what got all those cartoon fans flocking. Let’s find out!

Living Up to the NSFWR34 Name

As weird as NSFW R34 might sound to normies and folks new to the idea, imagine how much weirder it would be if the site was peddling SFW R34 content. It’s a rule about porn, which is a particularly difficult subject to turn into work-safe content. I’m picturing wholesome scenes of Jessica Rabbit holding Roger’s hand, D.Va giving somebody a peck on the lips, or Harley Quinn in a warm, loving and fully clothed embrace.

This ain’t SFWR34, though. I see those characters out front, but if you’re working in an office, you sure don’t want HR to see what you’re looking at. Jessica’s sitting on Roger’s face and jerking his cock and Harley Quinn is fucking a girl up the ass. Clearly, they ain’t afraid of pushing the limits around here, because this ain’t exactly the same type of content you’d find on the front page of your average vanilla tube.

In case I haven’t made myself clear, NSFWR34 offers a wide range of absolute balls-out perversion. Cartoon porn and hentai can be goldmines of the really freaky shit, owing to a handful of practical considerations you’ve probably considered a time or two. As much as I’d love to feature a horse banging a girl on ThePornDudeCasting couch, I’ve got to worry about budgets, laws, and the near impossibility of finding a girl down to take a legit donkey dick. Gia Derza did stop by to fuck herself with a wine bottle, but you’ll find much wilder sex acts on NSFW R34.

Even before I’d left the front page, I’d seen famous cartoon characters getting creampied, having lesbian love affairs, and sucking a whole lot of cock. There’s furry porn and aliens, sexy sluts in fishnets, futanaris with big cocks, POV humping, foursomes and a hell of a lot more. I’ve cranked it to the Teen Titans on Cartoon Network a couple times after a couple bong hits, but it’s a lot easier to rub one out when you get to see Jinx actually eating a dingdong.

Beating Off to Your Favorite Cartoons

The range of material on NSFWR34 is impressive, but does call attention to the site’s lackluster tagging. Pretty much any decent porn site, and a lot of the SFW ones, organize their collections by tagging all the relevant categories, niches, subgenres, sex acts and scenarios. The bigger and more diverse a library is, the more important those tags are. Perverts trying to search or browse NSFWR34.com for their favorite kinks may have an uphill battle and some blue balls ahead, because the tags just ain’t the greatest.

There is a Categories menu, but the only fetish listed on it is FUTA. The rest of the list is video games they’ve got X-rated parodies of. The good news is that there is a wide range of properties being given the porn cartoon treatment. The bad news is that the list is very short and clearly incomplete. Overwatch, Fortnite, Cyberpunk 2077 and Elden Ring are included in the Categories, but most of the material I already noticed goes unmentioned. Based on the other cartoon sites I’ve reviewed, I’m surprised Harley Quinn doesn’t have her very own aisle.

While the weak tagging is kind of a bummer, it’s also kind of understandable. It can be hard to keep up with all the little details when a site is growing fast, as this one is. They’re adding fresh NSFW R34 movies to the site every day. In just the last five hours alone, they’ve uploaded a dozen new cartoons. Most of them are 3D examples of Rule 34, plus a handful of freaky 2D cartoons with more of a hand-drawn aesthetic. The standards in either case are nice and high, so it looks like they have solid quality control around here.

I’ll be honest: I never heard of The Rising of the Shield Hero until today. The only reason I heard of it is because I Googled the name of this naked chick with animal ears and a tail getting fucked in a recently uploaded cartoon called Raphtalia’s Riding Adventure [Shiina Ecchi]. It’s only about 75 seconds, but it’s a really nicely done bit of hentai where we get to see Raphtalia fingering herself while bouncing on a dude’s cock. Thirty seconds in, her nipples start shooting milk as she gets closer to orgasm. In the final moments, she creams all over that dick.

My Chun Li Fantasies Fulfilled

Most of the videos on NSFWR34.com are pretty short, usually clocking in at around a minute or less. This is kind of a natural result of the format, since it takes a lot of time and effort to make these animations. There are some longer clips in the pile, though, for those of you hoping to settle in for a nice, long fap. For example, there’s an eleven-minute Omitome episode added just a few hours ago with a big-titted witch doing some kinky magic with a big-dicked futanari succubus. The level of detail is astounding, and part two is another 13 minutes of 3D rendered filth.

My only complaint is that, even with my adblocker running, I had to sit through some pre-porno advertising before I got my faps in. Spam ain’t unusual on a free site of any kind, but it was pretty intrusive on NSFW R34. They even have some anti-adblocker technology to make things even more difficult. That said, I don’t think the ads are going to be a dealbreaker for many of you. They’re arguably a small price to pay for the wealth of X-rated cartoon parodies included in the collection.

As a longtime fan of the Street Fighter series, one of my favorite recent uploads to NSFW R34 is a 50-second 3D clip of Chun Li fingering Cammy. They’re in a gym, with Cammy laying on a bench with her legs in the air. Chun Li’s got her big jugs out and she’s finger-fucking away at the squealing blonde girl’s twat. After making Cammy moan loudly, Chun Li licks her fingers, smacks Cammy’s ass and demands, “Again!” I watched it loop a few times before I even realized it was a loop, which says something about the seamless quality of the scene. A lot of 3D parody scenes are made without any audible dialog at all, so it’s nice hearing the characters interact just like they do in my fantasies.

Despite a bit of spam, NSFWR34.com is worth a look if you’ve ever fantasized about hot video game and cartoon characters doing freakier shit than they’re allowed to do on TV. I spent a lot more time than I expected banging out this review today, because I kept getting distracted by futanari sluts, cock-swallowing robots, hentai lesbians and 3D boobies that look even better than your mom’s. The archive is growing quickly, making this a good candidate for inclusion during your daily fap routine. There’s new stuff every time I look, so what are you waiting for? Check it out for yourself!