With such a huge amount of porno available at our fingertips, it’s important to have good tools to sort through the endless maze of ass and titties. Maybe I’m biased, but I know my site, including my free expert opinion, is one of the better resources. You’re also going to want a good porn search engine at your disposal. There are a handful of good ones to choose from, but today I’m going to take a long, hard look at Nude Vista.
Some stats posted near the top of the page hint at why this site is so fucking popular. Their search engine currently indexes about 1.6 million picture galleries and almost 28 million videos, starring over 40,000 adult models. I think we may have just found the holy grail of Internet smut.
Internet Porn Through the Ages
NudeVista.com occupies an interesting space in Internet history. The site it parodies, AltaVista, was king shit of web searches before Google ruled over everything. Whether you were looking for information on how beavers build dams or pictures of beavers getting slammed, you typed your query in their box.
AltaVista was already starting to falter by the time the NudeVista domain was registered. The former search giant finally shuttered in 2013. Meanwhile, NudeVista has continued to grow, both in their userbase and catalog of dirty, filthy porno. The younger wankers don’t even remember AltaVista, but NudeVista is currently encouraging nearly 30 million crank sessions a month.
The top of NudeVista resembles AltaVista in its prime. Its a clean design, with a Nude Vista logo above a search bar. Whoever did the layout made a conscious decision not to bloat it up with extra bullshit. Even with my ad blocker turned off, I don’t see any type of spam.
Discreet text near the search bar reads, “Gay, tranny, bizarre video, filter by length, date and more”. Clicking here brings up a hidden menu of more search options. You can filter by length, sexual orientation, or date published. There’s also an option to weed out unpopular vids, and a new box you can check if you only want to beat off to HD porn today.
The hidden menu options are already more powerful than some of the other sites, but you can get even deeper by clicking the Advanced Search link. Here, you can narrow it down by site or clips that include certain words and phrases.
Of course, this wouldn’t be a porn site without a wall of video thumbnails, so that’s what occupies the rest of the main page. The initial pre-search offerings are sorted by Relevance, though relevance to what is unclear.
All These Tubes in One Big Tube
Whether you’re spanking it straight from the front page or running your own search, the thumbnails display the same info. You get the title, length, a few tags, and what porn tube it’s on. If the clip has big stars in the business, you’ll see their names listed, too. Hovering over will show a few more of the genre tags, and most will display more preview GIFs.
If it’s your first visit to NudeVista, take note of what tubes these vids are coming from. Nude Vista doesn’t actually host any clips, it just lets you search other collections. When you type “brunette glasses teen blowjob” into the bar, you get hits from places like SpankWire, Motherless, PornHub and YouPorn.
Think about that for a second. A search at Motherless for the same string pulls up 119 clips. A search on NudeVista includes those 119 clips, along with about 4,000 more videos of little four-eyed, brown-haired nymphettes sucking cock. Why would you ever want to limit yourself?
I really like seeing innocent young things being forever corrupted. I added “braces” to the search so I could narrow it down even further. Most of the 7 videos that ultimately pop up are on tubes that aren’t normally part of my wrist aerobics workout. NudeVista just helped me nail down some pretty fucking specific bits of smut that I probably wouldn’t have found otherwise.
Click Here to Claim Your Spam
One of the scenes that came up for my search is a 13-minute, high-def piece called Teen With Braces Fucked By The Poolside. The screencap shows Natalie Monroe smiling at the camera with a dick in her mouth. How the dude in the scene keeps himself from just spearing that adorable face is anyone’s guess, but I had to see.
Clicking Natalie’s angelic mug brought me to RealGFPorn to watch the vid. Here’s where I finally saw some spam. While Nude Vista leaves you alone on their end, the people hosting the video are probably going to stick it to you. It’s not really NudeVista’s problem. If you’re getting spammed all to hell, keep an eye on which tubes you’re visiting so you can steer clear of the worst offenders.
Over at RealGFPorn, they tried to get me to sign up for a membership at yet another site to see the full movie with the teen cocksucker. Enticing you with a free scene is a classic technique to get you to buy porn, so you’ll find a lot of these shorter-length clips on NudeVista.
Surprise Amateur Porn
I ran my search again, but this time under Pictures, not Tubes (videos). NudeVista has way less photos than movies, so I had to drop “braces” from my search to get anything.
Most of the galleries that came up were from professional photoshoots of pornstars, or screengrabs from movies. What surprised me were a few that seemed to show amateur babes sucking dick. I widened my search to “glasses teen blowjob” and found a lot more. That’s why it’s taken me almost 3 weeks to finish writing this review.
I made my way to the main Pictures page and what do you know? It turns out amateur galleries are pretty popular on NudeVista. There are some really hot pics of a naked French broad someone found on an iCloud, and a fair amount of vintage-looking home-porn. I’m not into the saggy old titties I see dangling loosely in a few pics, but hey, different strokes for different folks.
Hot Sluts Doing Nasty Things
The Models page displays some of today’s trending babes and pornstar birthdays. The search function is on point here, letting you dial in parameters like age, boob size, ethnicity, hair and eye color. I fucking love this feature when I see it on a porn site. Sometimes you get a fever, and the only cure is a green-eyed Asian with clit piercings and DD tits.
Well, maybe you’ll have to suffer through that fever. NudeVista’s model search brings up 18 pornstars for that request. Only one of them is Asian, and she has brown eyes. She does have a pierced clit and DDs, though. It was a good effort.
Using the search bar in the models section only checks through the names and aliases. I tried searching for “braces” and got a Latvian slut named Britney Braces. “Glasses” brings up 1,436 videos supposedly featuring a performer named Fucking Glasses. It’s a pretty hilarious fuck-up brought to you by a typo somewhere down the line.
The Directory is a full list of their clip categories. It’s extensive as hell, but it’s one of the better organized directories I’ve seen. Instead of just giving you an alphabetical wall of genres, they’re broken down into sub-categories. Anal Creampie and Gape are both listed under Anal. Foursome, Gangbang, and Orgy are filed under Group Sex.
It goes without saying that if you’re after something that’s not on the list, you should type it in the search bar. I mean, that’s the whole point of Nude Vista. It’s a porno search engine, remember?
To sum it all up, the worst thing I could say about NudeVista.com was that the model search didn’t work exactly like it was supposed to. Big fucking deal! This search engine lets you sort through THIRTY FUCKING MILLION VIDEOS from a bunch of your favorite sites. The site is clean as hell, easy to use, and it just works. What are you waiting for?